my heart, my hands are shaking

[wrongxchords]

why does my life tend to spin out of control alot? my grandma had a stroke this morning.again. and she is hopefully is comming home tomorrow, thankfully it was a minor one. i didnt get to see Shaunna today which really sucked because i needed her more than i ever thought i could need someone. i have a feeling that my life is taking a really change pretty quick. ive been thinking about EVERYTHING since my first memories of being young until now. and it just sucks. i dont know whats going on with myself. my body and heart are aching uncontrolably.
i dont want christmas to come. i dont want my birtday to come either. cant i just have a happy day and let it be that day forever? nothing is ever going to work out for me. and thats just fantastic.