If Wishes Were Fishes
I have weird habits.
When the clasp of my necklace is in the front, I make a wish while spinning it to the back. I don't know why, but I've done it for years. I think my mom told me about it. I still wish on the first star I see at night and if I notice that it's 11:11, I make a wish then too. I wish on eyelashes.
For the past week or so, I've been wishing about the concert last night. Specifically that I could have a conversation with Kenny and not feel stupid or crazy after. Or during, because when that happens, I'm freaking doomed.
Tonight, I took my necklace off before getting in the shower.
Usually, I'll spin it if I need to, wait a few minutes, then take it off. Tonight, I realized that I couldn't wish for a conversation, because it had already happened.
True, I almost said the wrong age. But that doesn't bother me. Because I saved it. And he was the first to ask since my birthday. I always tell the first person the wrong age.
I don't care about that.
After years of wishing, one finally came true.
I realized this as I was taking the necklace off.
I then did a mini happy dance.
And I've been smiling since.
It's a small thing, wishing to have a conversation and having one, but it makes me happy.
Makes me feel a little better about myself.
I don't think I'll wish to have a conversation at the next concert. It seems like that would jinx it. Or frighten me if I saw him one day and hadn't been wishing, make me fear that we could only talk if wished for it.
I realize that it's a bit silly, I do.
But, with any luck, having had the first conversation, all of the others will be easier.
With any luck, there will be others.
I'm not going to wish for them, though. I'm going to make them happen on my own.
When the clasp of my necklace is in the front, I make a wish while spinning it to the back. I don't know why, but I've done it for years. I think my mom told me about it. I still wish on the first star I see at night and if I notice that it's 11:11, I make a wish then too. I wish on eyelashes.
For the past week or so, I've been wishing about the concert last night. Specifically that I could have a conversation with Kenny and not feel stupid or crazy after. Or during, because when that happens, I'm freaking doomed.
Tonight, I took my necklace off before getting in the shower.
Usually, I'll spin it if I need to, wait a few minutes, then take it off. Tonight, I realized that I couldn't wish for a conversation, because it had already happened.
True, I almost said the wrong age. But that doesn't bother me. Because I saved it. And he was the first to ask since my birthday. I always tell the first person the wrong age.
I don't care about that.
After years of wishing, one finally came true.
I realized this as I was taking the necklace off.
I then did a mini happy dance.
And I've been smiling since.
It's a small thing, wishing to have a conversation and having one, but it makes me happy.
Makes me feel a little better about myself.
I don't think I'll wish to have a conversation at the next concert. It seems like that would jinx it. Or frighten me if I saw him one day and hadn't been wishing, make me fear that we could only talk if wished for it.
I realize that it's a bit silly, I do.
But, with any luck, having had the first conversation, all of the others will be easier.
With any luck, there will be others.
I'm not going to wish for them, though. I'm going to make them happen on my own.