fic- "Time Heals" (NC-17, Complete, SGA, Ties that Bind) Part 4
Time Heals by CJ aka WritinginCT (NC-17)
Fandom: Stargate SGA
Pairing: multiple m/m (primarily OC's), m/f, m/m/f
Warnings: rape/ torture recovery (non graphic descriptions of the assault itself)
Categories: Drama, romance, friendship, family, BDsM.
Disclaimer: I don't own the recognizable characters I'm just inspired by them.
Status: Complete 6/08/2011 53200 words
Summary: Time may have healed their bodies, but for two damaged men assigned to Atlantis, it will take meeting each other to truly become whole again.
Note: Set, with permission, in the alternate SGA universe The Ties That Bind created by keiramarcos , which was inspired by xanthelj 's works Coming Home and General & Dr. Sheppard.
Thanks to singletailwhip for the grammar beta! She's a master comma wrangler and error catcher!
Special thanks to Keira for letting me play in her sandbox and her support and beta. I adore the TTB series and I'm so excited to have permission to be a part of it- thank you, Keira!
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Carmine entered when acknowledged and braced himself for the worst. What he didn't expect was Caldwell's immediate order, "At ease, Commander."
"Sir," Carmine said as he went to parade rest.
"I think it's time for you and I to have a little conversation, Commander. Because as much as I'd like to think that it was my honor you were defending down there in the gym, we both know it wasn't. So for the rest of this conversation, I'm just Steven, you're just Carmine, and we're going to talk about Joey. So, I've got beer and I've got brandy, pick your poison."
Carmine blinked in surprise. This was not going at all as he expected, but he went with the flow. "Beer would be fine, thank you."
Steven pulled two beers out of the fridge in the corner and gestured Carmine toward the seating area. Handing him a beer he asked, "So what have you heard about me and Joey?"
Carmine had always prided himself on knowing when to show his cards and when to bluff. There was something about Caldwell that told him that he needed to put all his cards on the table, so he answered honestly, "I was told that he wore your collar for a year and a half by a member of your crew that was warning me off. Joey himself has never said anything about that, but he did say that you were his first CO and that you've remained friends through the years."
"We'll get into who tried to warn you off in a minute, but yes, Joey was my collared submissive for about a year and eight months. We met when Joey was fresh out of boot camp and I was still a Major. I looked out for Joey back then, he doesn't have family you know."
Carmine nodded. "He mentioned that he had been in foster care before joining the Air Force. I come from a big family myself, s... Steven." Both men grinned at his catch. "And I just can't imagine not having anyone. I'm glad you looked out for him."
"I was his direct CO at Peterson for about six months or so when I got reassigned to the Middle East. We weren't involved sexually or romantically back then, nothing more than friendship and mentoring. Our paths crossed now and then with deployments and it was just after I made Lieutenant Colonel that we were both deployed down in Guam. One thing led to another like things always do, and we found ourselves in an intense, exclusive relationship. I collared him two months later."
Carmine could see that the memories and story that Caldwell was telling were bittersweet to the man and he prompted gently, "But you didn't stay together."
"No," Steven replied. His brow furrowed and his expression grew solemn before he continued, "Our dynamic mesh just didn't work long-term. We both wanted and needed things that the other just couldn't give."
Steven paused and Carmine sat waiting for him to continue. The Colonel struck him as a very private person by nature and it had to be very difficult to share these most private things with, basically, a total stranger.
"I... I love Joey, Carmine, and I will for the rest of my life. I wanted to marry him and build a life and family with him. But in the end I loved him enough to let him go when it was best for him."
"You don't have to justify your feelings for Joey or your relationship with him to me, Steven," Carmine replied respectfully.
"I think I do. Because I suspect that you're going to be playing a big role in his future whether you both know it or not, and I don't want there to be any misconceptions about my past with him, or my present feelings."
"Sir?"
At Steven's raised eyebrow at the "sir", Carmine grinned in spite of the serious tone of the conversation. "Sorry, force of habit."
"Look, between the time that I took my collar off of him and now, there have been things that have happened with Joey. Things that are not my place to share with you. He's not the same man that he was back then. He's not... fragile, but he definitely needs gentle handling. Trust doesn't come easy for him these days, but he really likes you, and you make him feel safe, something he needs more than I can tell you."
Red rage filled Carmine's brain and he asked icily, "Did someone hurt him? Did some Dom not honor a safe word or something?"
Steven held up a hand cutting him off and replied, "That goes back to the stuff that needs to come from him. He'll tell you when he's ready, you just need to give him some time. How much time I don't know."
Carmine shook his head. "I'm not pressuring him, Steven, I would never do that. I asked him if he wanted to play when we first came on board but he declined and I respect that. We've been spending some time together, but that's... I just enjoy his company, there's no expectation, Steven."
"But that brings us back to the incident that landed you here tonight. You and Joey may not be playing or having sex, but he's tripping every single one of your triggers, especially the protective and possessive ones. You need to reel them in."
"I've always been an overly protective top, regardless if the sub is mine or not. If you were to meet my mother, you'd see that I come by it naturally. But I understand what you're saying and I'll get a better handle on things."
"How many subs have you collared?"
Carmine picked at the label on his beer bottle, the turn in the conversation's direction one he really didn't want to take, but he answered, "Just one. A woman named Lisa. We were together almost three years, and had just started planning our wedding when..." Carmine reached up and stroked his scarred cheek with his fingertips. "Anyway, once I got stateside to recover and she saw what I actually looked like she just couldn't deal with it. A month after I got home, she asked me to remove her collar. So I did. I haven't had any other collared submissives."
Steven grimaced. "I'm sorry."
Carmine drained the rest of his beer and said, "Yeah, well, how did you word it? I loved her enough to let her go."
Steven nodded in complete understanding then changed the topic again. "So tell me what the hell you've seen going on with my crew? I'm starting a list of asses to paddle and I'd hate to miss anyone."
They talked through another beer about things that Carmine had seen and heard. He could see Steven getting more and more agitated and he offered with a little light humor, "You could always give them to me for PT, Steven. I can make them hurt in ways they've only dreamed of."
"I've heard about your infamous puke buckets already. But you may be onto something, some extra PT might keep all their asses out of trouble."
Their conversation dwindled and they stood. Caldwell held out his hand. "Carmine, I'm glad we had this opportunity to talk."
"Me too, Steven. I think it cleared the air, I wouldn't have wanted there to be tension between us. You're very important to Joey, and I... well, I want to be very important to Joey," Carmine replied with a little grin, shaking Steven's hand.
Steven nodded lightly and then let his expression sober. "I'm not going to give you the "you better not hurt him" speech. But I am going to promise you that if you hurt him physically there isn't hole deep enough in any galaxy for you to hide in. I will kill you myself."
"All I can give you is my word, Steven, but somehow I don't think even that would be enough. I'm putting two and two together and getting that someone hurt Joey in the not so distant past. I can promise you this though, that even if Joey and I never move past friendship, I will personally gut anyone that ever hurts him."
"Good man, I knew I'd like you. Now go on and get out of here, and if anyone asks, I did nothing but scream at you for the past hour."
"Yes, sir," Carmine replied with a cocky little salute.
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The remaining days on board the Daedalus passed without incident. The wide berth most of the crew gave to Carmine because of his appearance became even wider as news of his reaction in the gym made the rounds. Thankfully, Joey didn't seem to be aware of the specifics of the altercation and Carmine was glad.
Joey's comfort level with Carmine, and with Adrian and Ramon, grew every day. Adrian in particular had simply tucked Joey under his wing and adopted him as a long-lost relative. The friendship that was developing between the two subs was strong and good for both of them.
The day before they were scheduled to arrive at Atlantis, Carmine made a point of stopping by the infirmary. He grinned seeing Anka and the smile she returned was quick and lit up her face. He noticed that her hair was now worn up loosely in a clip and she had an aura about her that was practically glowing.
"Lieutenant."
"Commander," she replied playfully.
He pointed to one of her little curls hanging near her cheek. "I like this look."
She blushed and replied, "Thank you, sir."
"I just wanted to stop in today and say my goodbyes, tomorrow's going to be pretty chaotic and I didn't want to miss seeing you."
"I wish I could see Atlantis, from what I've seen in pictures it's beautiful."
"You could always request a transfer."
The blush was back on her cheeks and, shyly, she said, "I think I would rather stay on the Daedalus, sir."
"That look on your face is telling me that it's a who and not a what making you want to stay."
She grinned and replied, "I've been seeing someone for a couple of weeks and I think he's going to offer me a collar."
"You look very happy about that, Anka. He's a good guy?"
"Yes, sir. He's wonderful actually, makes me feel like a princess."
"Well you are, but that's a whole other conversation. So does this wonderful Dom have a name?"
Carmine was pretty sure he knew who it was having seen Scalfani and Anka having dinner together in the mess on a couple of occasions, but she confirmed it for him. "Sergeant Scalfani, he works down in the armory. I think you know him."
Carmine nodded and said honestly, "I'm happy for you, Anka, you deserve someone wonderful."
She smiled widely and Carmine couldn't help but think that Scalfani was a truly lucky bastard.
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Joey was saying his own goodbyes in Steven's quarters as they shared a final dinner together.
They were just moving on to dessert when Joey quietly said, "I started meeting with someone. The doctor in the infirmary set it up for me."
Steven's reply was gentle. "Good. You're comfortable with the counselor he set you up with?"
Joey nodded. "Yeah, she's great. She's a sub, too, and she understands where I'm coming from. I'm feeling positive about my dynamic for the first time in what feels like forever."
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear that."
They ate in silence for a few minutes when Joey asked hesitantly, "Was that fight that Commander Picone got into because of me? No one will tell me anything."
Steven had never lied to Joey and wasn't about to start now. "Yes and no. I've got some issues with my 302 squad that I need to address, they're getting a little too big for their own britches and Picone took offense at some things that were said."
"Someone said something about you and I, didn't they?"
"Yeah. But it's nothing you need to worry about."
"I told him you and I were close, but I didn't tell him you collared me."
"I know, he told me." At Joey's questioning look, Steven continued, "He and I had a long talk about me and you and where I stand in the picture. I didn't tell him anything about Borden or what happened, that's up to you. Carmine is good guy, Joey, and if I can't have you, I'd want you to be with someone like him."
"His cousin told me about his last sub, and about how she left him because of his injuries. I don't know how she could do that. You don't do that to someone you love."
"You don't see his scars do you?"
"No," Joey said with a little grin, thinking instead about the way Carmine's shoulders stretched his t-shirt, his strong hands, and the quick smile he always had for him.
Steven shook his head and teased playfully, "You two just might be good for each other."
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Their arrival on the city was chaotic at best. There were people arriving on Atlantis and people leaving, and there was a mountain-sized amount of equipment and supplies that had to be off-loaded.
Joey was one of the few not immediately told to go to his newly assigned quarters, instead he was overseeing the crates of parts and new equipment that fell under his purview. When he first walked into the large open area where the MALPS and FREDS were kept he had to keep his mouth from dropping open in dismay. The area was a shambles at best. Random crates and boxes of things without rhyme, reason, or even a label were stuffed here and there around the room. Tools were lying haphazardly around, just looking to be lost or tripped over. Joey decided that Siler would have had a heart attack on the spot to ever see the MALP bay at the SGC in such a state, and Joey wondered why it had been allowed to get this bad.
There was no one currently in the area, so Joey started shoving things out of the way to make room for the pallets to be beamed down from the Daedalus.
"What are you doing?" a voice bellowed from behind Joey. He turned to see a thoroughly pissed off Marine Corporal.
"I'm making room for incoming supplies, Corporal."
The Corporal's eyes flashed to Joey's lapels and he straightened up a little upon realizing that Joey outranked him.
"With all due respect, sir, this is my work area."
Joey decided to try to defuse what was sure to be an uncomfortable situation. "Actually, Corporal James, my name is Master Sergeant Joe Olsen, and I've been assigned to oversee this area, including staff and equipment. It's nice to meet you."
Joey could see that the young Corporal was having issues, both from having an interloper in his domain as well as finding out that his new immediate superior officer was a sub.
"Colonel Sheppard approved this, Sergeant Olsen?" James asked disbelieving.
"Of course, but you can feel free to verify it with him if you like."
Joey had to work hard not to smirk at the sight of the Corporal swallowing hard at the idea of taking this up with Colonel Sheppard, somehow Joey didn't think that Sheppard would appreciate having to deal with such petty bullshit their first day back.
"This is a permanent assignment for you, sir?" the Corporal asked, not able to keep the hope out of his voice that Joey was just there to oversee the delivery of new equipment and would be leaving with the Daedalus.
"Yes, now how's about giving me a hand clearing some room? We've got more MALPs, some ATV's, and a ton of spare parts getting ready to be beamed down."
The Corporal didn't say much while they worked, but the tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife.
Their pallets beamed down and the area immediately became beyond overcrowded and completely non-functional. Inwardly Joey groaned, he had his work cut out for him.
After a couple grueling hours of grunt work where he and James lugged equipment, Joey finally dismissed James for the evening. When the Corporal was finally gone, taking the tension in the room with him, Joey let out a deep breath and really looked around, noting that even the most utilitarian areas of the city were beautiful. He was glad that he took the assignment and couldn't wait to see more of the city. As he looked around he realized that General O'Neill was right, this could be a fresh start for him. He had the opportunity to build something professionally with his own stamp on it. As an image of Carmine flashed in his mind, he thought it might also be a chance to maybe build something new personally.
His radio chimed in his ear and he answered it, "Olsen."
Without preamble Carmine teased, "I haven't seen you all day and I just wanted to check and see if a MALP got beamed down on top of your head by accident."
"No, but I think my headache would have been less if one had."
"That bad?"
"Let's just say that my to do list looks like a copy of War and Peace."
"Have you eaten anything?"
"Not since lunch," Joey answered sheepishly.
"Alright, I'll be down in bit after I swing by the mess."
Joey started to say, "You don't have to..." when he realized that Carmine had already dropped the connection.
A half hour later Carmine, with Ramon and Adrian in tow entered the area.
Ramon whistled and said, "Holy shit, man, looks like a fucking bomb went off in here."
Carmine nodded and added, "Whoever the fucking slob is needs their ass spanked. You can't work like this."
Adrian had a tray with some fruit and sandwiches that he placed on top of a crate. "Let's eat, then get this shit straightened out."
Joey picked up sandwich gratefully and asked, "You guys don't have somewhere else you have to be?"
Carmine reassured Joey, "No, the next few days are pretty calm for all the special forces teams while everyone settles in on the city."
They ate and then spent a couple more hours working and joking around, and Joey found himself filled with a warm feeling that he couldn't quite put his finger on. It was some sort of heady sense of family and camaraderie that had been missing in his life for entirely too long.
When they had the area to the point where they could at least walk without tripping on something, and the two new MALPS unpacked and near the entrance ready to be deployed if needed, they called it a night.
Adrian and Ramon headed for the mess, looking for something resembling pie to satisfy their sweet tooths, while Carmine walked Joey to his new quarters. The folks that had traveled with them on the Daedalus had gotten used to Carmine's appearance, but now on Atlantis, a lot of people couldn't keep the surprise and often repulsion off their faces as the two men walked through the corridors.
Joey asked quietly, "You get that a lot don't you?"
Carmine shrugged and replied, "People get used to it."
Joey swallowed nervously and admitted, "That first day in PT, I didn't notice until you pointed it out."
Carmine paused and looked sideways at Joey, a wide smile on his face as he asked, "Really?"
"Really," Joey affirmed as his cheeks, ears, and neck turned scarlet.
Carmine bumped Joey's shoulder with his and said, "Cool."
Most people observing the two men in the hallway would have assumed by their body language that they were a long-standing pairing, Joey's lack of a collar not withstanding, and as the old Atlantis expedition members took inventory of the new expedition members, the word would quickly make the rounds that Joey and Carmine were on the unofficial "unavailable" list.
As they reached Joey's quarters he yawned and apologized, "Sorry, sir, it's been a long day. I'm looking forward to a hot shower and being horizontal for a while."
Almost as if his mouth was on autopilot, Carmine retorted playfully, "Want some company?"
At Joey's surprised expression Carmine apologized but decided to be honest. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. Look, I'm not trying to pressure you, but I want you to know, for the record, that if you ever do want company you just need to let me know."
Joey's cheeks flamed, but he looked Carmine square in the eye and said, "I know, and I'm sorry, I just... I just can't yet. But I'm working on it, and I want you to know that."
Carmine could see the flurry of emotions in Joey's eyes and he took a chance and stepped a bit closer to him and gently cupped Joey's face in his big hands. His words were low and for Joey's ears only as he said, "Whenever you're ready, I'll be here."
Joey nodded, his eyes locked with Carmine's. Carmine savored the intimate moment a bit longer then pressed a kiss to Joey's forehead and released him.
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The next morning Joey had a quick breakfast in the mess and headed for a meeting called by Lieutenant Commander Matthew Sheppard. When he entered the room Joey realized that the group assembled was made up completely of military submissives.
Commander Sheppard was without a doubt the most beautiful and confident sub that Joey had ever seen. Joey listened intently as Commander Sheppard reminded everyone of their rights as subs, and then moved on to talk about personal safety and what to do if there is a problematic Dom. He was so eloquent and self-assured that most of the subs, Joey included, were a little in awe. Even though Commander Sheppard was a sub himself, he somehow managed to make every other sub in the room feel looked after and cared about.
When he dismissed the meeting, everyone filed out. Joey heard, "Olsen," and turned back around to face Commander Sheppard.
"Sir?"
"Hang back a minute, would you?"
Joey did just that and once the others had left, Commander Sheppard closed the door, giving them privacy.
"What I'm about to say may seem odd, Sergeant, but here goes. Both my brother, Colonel Sheppard, and Major Lorne asked me to make a point of speaking to you personally at some point. They didn't give me any specific details as to why exactly, but they wanted me to stress to you in particular that if you have any issues on Atlantis that you can bring them to any one of us, any time. And like I said to everyone earlier, in the grand scheme, I'm the highest ranking military submissive in the expedition, and I want to know if any sub has a problem. We can't fix something if we don't know it's broken."
"I understand, sir, and I appreciate your concern."
Sheppard studied Joey's face for a moment and ticked his head to the side a little. "When Colonel Sheppard asked me to talk to you, it made me curious and I pulled your personnel file. There's a lot of redacting in there and a big chunk of missing time. I'm not going to push you to tell me what happened, because I've been around long enough to recognize what that chunk of missing time usually means for a submissive. And if I add in to it that General O'Neill has put restrictions on the type of punishments you can receive and how the two senior officers in this command are asking me to talk to you about what to do if someone's hassling you, I'm getting a pretty clear picture.
Joey opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out.
Sheppard stepped forward and reached over and squeezed Joey's shoulder, grounding him. He continued gently, "You're not the first submissive to be assaulted, Olsen, and I'm letting you know that I know because if you need anything you just have to tell me and I'll make it happen."
Joey could see the anger at the thought that someone would assault a fellow submissive lurking in Commander Sheppard's eyes. Joey swallowed hard and replied, "I'm... okay, sir. I'm working through some things with a counselor, but Atlantis is a good thing for me. I'm excited to be here and I can't imagine having problems with anyone in Colonel Sheppard's command."
Commander Sheppard grinned and said with humor, "He is a hard ass."
"That's not always a bad thing, sir."
Sheppard laughed and shook his head. "His fan club just keeps growing and growing. All right then, Olsen. Just remember, we're here if you need us."
"I will, sir. Thank you."
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Corporal James was not happy. He had been blissfully happy on his own without direct supervision in his face on a daily basis, but now he had to deal with Joey and he wasn't happy.
Currently Joey had a clip board and was pointing to each MALP, FRED and other piece of equipment and grilling James on the current status of the item as well as its last preventative maintenance. Preventative maintenance was a problem, the Corporal hadn't been keeping up with it, even though he reported that he had.
The Corporal was getting more surly and unpleasant as the day went on. Finally Joey had had enough, and in a tone that channeled Steven at his most irritated, blasted James, "Corporal, this entire area is a fucking pit. Do you have any idea how important this equipment is to the teams that go offworld? Their lives depend on this equipment working properly and you just don't seem to fucking care. You've lost tools that you need, you've got bad and broken parts mixed in with new, and you haven't done the basic maintenance needed to keep shit from breaking in the first place. Now we are going to get this hole organized and cleaned up, and we are going to get the preventative maintenance done on every piece of gear in here. And we're going to do it my way. Am I clear?"
Corporal James looked like he was going to explode and when Joey just glared back and repeated, "My way, Corporal, or you can go see Master Chief Frost right now and ask to be reassigned."
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"I really thought he'd go to the Master Chief when it was all said and done, but he didn't. Just sucked it up and followed my orders the rest of the day."
Carmine couldn't help but notice that Joey's confidence had seemed to get a boost somewhere along the way, and it was nice to see. He laughed and said, "He probably never thought about how what he does affects the guys going through the gate, not really."
Joey nodded. "Yeah, he's very young and was part of the original expedition and I think he's been sort of on his own down there too long."
"Is he having a hard time taking orders from a submissive?"
"I think at first, but once I yelled at him that no longer seemed to be a problem."
Carmine chuckled as he balled up his napkin and dropped it on his tray. "So what are your plans for tonight?"
Joey made a face and replied, "I should study, but I think my brain's a little fried for that tonight, so I don't know. What about you?"
Carmine grinned and admitted, "I'm getting antsy being cooped up all the time. I was thinking about taking a hike around out on the piers and getting some fresh air. Up for it?"
"Sounds good."
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Part 5
Time Heals index