Working mom or stay-at-home mom? A neutral comparison, part 3.
As a mom you know how the game goes:
if you stay at home, society calls you lazy and if you go back to work, people call you a raven mother.
But don't we all have our reasons?!
In the following days I will post several articles about wonderful moms that are ready to share their stories with us. If you want to read them all, please search for #workingmom .
Enjoy (and please don't judge)!
Interview Number 3:
Ira (32); Malaga, Spain.
She is single and has a daughter, who is 6 months old.
(OMG, she is so cute!!)
Your job (the one you learned and/or work/ed in last):
Oh, so many! MA in International Development and Planning. I've worked in very different countries now including UK, Spain, Vietnam, Kenya, Namibia and Germany.
Did you go back to work (yet) or decide to stay at home?
Stay at home and work a bit from home (freelance writing, marketing & sales, etc.).
Why?
Time with my daughter is precious. I'll never be able to get this back and this is the time they learn to trust and develop their confidence and strength. I also needed some sort of income. I was lucky enough that I worked really hard in the past and put away some money otherwise I wouldn't have been in the position to just stay home or been flexible enough to move from London to Spain where life is significantly cheaper.
Are you planning to go back to work?
Definitely.
Why?
I want to provide for my daughter and I enjoy an intellectual challenge. Being productive is a wonderful part of life and I want to show her that through leading by example.
How much do you work?
I work depending on the project. So that could be a lot of hours or none. Freelancing is difficult with a child because you have to meet deadlines but if your baby is hungry, wet or bored out of its mind it's still top priority.
Would you like to work more/less?
I'd like to be more in control over my hours and generally more flexible. Freelancing also requires a lot of unpaid work which is finding and applying for projects. It's really important to build a network with potential clients. Sometimes I'd just rather cuddle with my LO on the couch and watch reruns of Gilmore Girls.
(The Girlmore Girls will reunite soon!! Lots of cuddle time for you guys ahead ;) )
Where is your kid / are your kids in that time (please also answer when you stay at home)?
On me! Or directly next to me. I have an extremely clingy baby that I can literally never put down without a complaint. But then again she is also very relaxed and doesn't cry much as long as she is with me so I really cannot complain.
Have you been facing criticism?
No. Most people just assume that you have to work if you are a single parent and the father is absent. If anything people who don't have kids often don't understand why I cannot do all of it at once: take care of the apartment, the baby and work 8-10 hours a day. After all, all babies do is sleep, right?! ...
If you could change something about your situation, what would it be (daycare IN the company, go back to work, less hours, nothing…..)?
I would like to have more flexible daycare arrangements. It's really tough at times to be with your child 24/7 - not because of the baby but because if you don't have anyone to watch your child there are things that are important that are just impossible (e.g. going to the dentist or concentrating on work). I don't want to go from 0 hours in daycare to 8 hours a day. Ideally I would only work 4 hours a day so that I still have plenty of quality time with my daughter or could fit in a run every now or then.
Thanks so much, Ira!!