Words to Heal By -- Chapter Four
Title/Chapter: Words to Heal By (04/??)
Author: Amanda W. / writefiction
Pairing: Zac / OFC: Jilly
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for the Mix Tape Challenge for the song “Broken Angel”
Warning: hints at character death
Previous Chapters
Word Count: 1,054
Summary: Now in his thirties, Zac decides to write a memoir of the time he spent with his soul mate and the tragedy of how their time was cut short. This is his time for healing.
WORDS TO HEAL BY: chapter four
Growing up I’d always written songs about Jilly. Despite never using her name, she could always pick out which songs were about her, even if I didn’t sing lead on them. When I asked her one time how she always knew, she told me that she could just tell which ones had my thoughts in them and which thoughts were about her. I could only grin at her because I’d always known we’d had a special connection and it was amazing that this special bond we shared was that deep, that intimate, that she knew my thoughts without me telling her.
The first time she listened to the This Time Around CD, she turned it off as soon as If Only ended. I looked at her funny where she was laying on her stomach on the floor of my bedroom. “Why’d you turn it off?” I asked. Jilly turned her face to me with a confused expression fixed in place. “What?”
“Why’d you write it?” she questioned.
“Why’d I write what?” I asked.
The older girl rolled her eyes at me. “If Only,” she clarified. “Why’d you write it? You already know you have me. You know you’ve got me for life. So why write it?” I sighed and swiveled around to stretch out on my side, propping my head up in my hand.
I picked at invisible lint on the carpet and asked, “Do you really want to know?”
“Zac,” she said with exasperation in her voice. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know.” I saw her shadow move and looked up. She was now laying in an identical position to my own. She reached over and placed her small hand on my larger one. “What is it?” she asked.
I felt myself blush and looked down at the contrast in size of our hands. “I um, the thing is… I wanted to tell you how I feel,” I told her slowly. “But I didn’t know how.” I shrugged one shoulder.
“O-kay,” she replied just as slowly. “But now I’m really confused.”
I looked at her through my lashes. “Why?”
“Because If Only sounds like a love-sick, pining song but… you’re not pining. I’m yours.” She looked at me with true confusion on her face.
I reached out and tucked a lock of her long blond hair behind her ear. “Well, I am love-sick, Angel,” I replied with a smile. “But I just… I guess I just wanted you to know that… well, I love you.” I felt my cheeks burn with a deep blush.
Jilly smiled softly. “I know you do, sweetheart.”
I shook my head. “You don’t get it,” I told her. “I mean, I really love you.” She cocked an eyebrow at me in question. “It’s just… we’ve been saying I love you to each other almost since the day we met, you know?” Jilly nodded and I continued. “I wrote the song because when I tell you I love you, it’s different now. It’s more. It’s not little kid I love you.” I pulled her hand close and held it over my heart. “I just… you are everything to me, Jilly, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you as soon as we’re old enough. I want to have a family with you. I want you to be my first kiss and my last kiss. I just…” I sighed quietly. “I love you, Jilly. You’re my angel and no one could ever replace you.”
Jilly shook her head slowly. “Wow,” she murmured.
“Wow what?” I asked nervously.
The girl across from me smiled fondly at me. I could see the immense love she had for me in that one look. “I can’t… you just… wow.”
I laughed quietly. “That’s all you can say?”
“Well it’s not like I can write these beautiful, amazing songs like you can.” She stuck her tongue out at me, making my smile turn into a grin.
“You could always try.” Jilly shook her head. “No?”
“Nope. How about I just say this: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you as soon as we’re old enough. I want to have a family with you. I want you to be my first kiss and my last kiss. I love you, Zachary Hanson. You’re my moon and sun and no one could ever replace you.”
My eyes filled with actual tears when she quoted back to me what I had said. “You really mean that?” I asked, full of hope.
Jilly didn’t say anything. She just cupped the side of my face with her small hand and leaned in. Her eyes flitted from my lips to my eyes and then they closed as she pressed her mouth to mine.
My eyes instantly closed on contact and I sighed through my nose. There we were, in my bedroom, having our first real kiss. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her right up to my chest as our lips moved delicately against each other. Her response was to snuggle in close where she had always fit so well in the dips and hills of my body. And then the unexpected happened: she slid her tongue over my bottom lip which only served to make me grow hard in my jeans. I opened my mouth for her and she pressed her tongue inside. She tasted so warm and sweet and everything I wished I had known all my life.
We laid there for quite a while just kissing tenderly, our tongues sometimes dancing together, sometimes with our mouths closed. Either way, it was magical for me. Even now, as I sit here typing this as a thirty-something year old man, I get chills just thinking about our first make-out session. It wasn’t hot and hormonal by any means -- even if my jeans did get tight. No, it wasn’t anything like that at all. We kissed slow and sweet in a way that made me dizzy with love. It was in that moment that I realized she felt exactly the way I did and that we’d be together for the rest of our lives. I just didn’t realize how short her life would turn out to be.
Author: Amanda W. / writefiction
Pairing: Zac / OFC: Jilly
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for the Mix Tape Challenge for the song “Broken Angel”
Warning: hints at character death
Previous Chapters
Word Count: 1,054
Summary: Now in his thirties, Zac decides to write a memoir of the time he spent with his soul mate and the tragedy of how their time was cut short. This is his time for healing.
WORDS TO HEAL BY: chapter four
Growing up I’d always written songs about Jilly. Despite never using her name, she could always pick out which songs were about her, even if I didn’t sing lead on them. When I asked her one time how she always knew, she told me that she could just tell which ones had my thoughts in them and which thoughts were about her. I could only grin at her because I’d always known we’d had a special connection and it was amazing that this special bond we shared was that deep, that intimate, that she knew my thoughts without me telling her.
The first time she listened to the This Time Around CD, she turned it off as soon as If Only ended. I looked at her funny where she was laying on her stomach on the floor of my bedroom. “Why’d you turn it off?” I asked. Jilly turned her face to me with a confused expression fixed in place. “What?”
“Why’d you write it?” she questioned.
“Why’d I write what?” I asked.
The older girl rolled her eyes at me. “If Only,” she clarified. “Why’d you write it? You already know you have me. You know you’ve got me for life. So why write it?” I sighed and swiveled around to stretch out on my side, propping my head up in my hand.
I picked at invisible lint on the carpet and asked, “Do you really want to know?”
“Zac,” she said with exasperation in her voice. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know.” I saw her shadow move and looked up. She was now laying in an identical position to my own. She reached over and placed her small hand on my larger one. “What is it?” she asked.
I felt myself blush and looked down at the contrast in size of our hands. “I um, the thing is… I wanted to tell you how I feel,” I told her slowly. “But I didn’t know how.” I shrugged one shoulder.
“O-kay,” she replied just as slowly. “But now I’m really confused.”
I looked at her through my lashes. “Why?”
“Because If Only sounds like a love-sick, pining song but… you’re not pining. I’m yours.” She looked at me with true confusion on her face.
I reached out and tucked a lock of her long blond hair behind her ear. “Well, I am love-sick, Angel,” I replied with a smile. “But I just… I guess I just wanted you to know that… well, I love you.” I felt my cheeks burn with a deep blush.
Jilly smiled softly. “I know you do, sweetheart.”
I shook my head. “You don’t get it,” I told her. “I mean, I really love you.” She cocked an eyebrow at me in question. “It’s just… we’ve been saying I love you to each other almost since the day we met, you know?” Jilly nodded and I continued. “I wrote the song because when I tell you I love you, it’s different now. It’s more. It’s not little kid I love you.” I pulled her hand close and held it over my heart. “I just… you are everything to me, Jilly, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you as soon as we’re old enough. I want to have a family with you. I want you to be my first kiss and my last kiss. I just…” I sighed quietly. “I love you, Jilly. You’re my angel and no one could ever replace you.”
Jilly shook her head slowly. “Wow,” she murmured.
“Wow what?” I asked nervously.
The girl across from me smiled fondly at me. I could see the immense love she had for me in that one look. “I can’t… you just… wow.”
I laughed quietly. “That’s all you can say?”
“Well it’s not like I can write these beautiful, amazing songs like you can.” She stuck her tongue out at me, making my smile turn into a grin.
“You could always try.” Jilly shook her head. “No?”
“Nope. How about I just say this: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you as soon as we’re old enough. I want to have a family with you. I want you to be my first kiss and my last kiss. I love you, Zachary Hanson. You’re my moon and sun and no one could ever replace you.”
My eyes filled with actual tears when she quoted back to me what I had said. “You really mean that?” I asked, full of hope.
Jilly didn’t say anything. She just cupped the side of my face with her small hand and leaned in. Her eyes flitted from my lips to my eyes and then they closed as she pressed her mouth to mine.
My eyes instantly closed on contact and I sighed through my nose. There we were, in my bedroom, having our first real kiss. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her right up to my chest as our lips moved delicately against each other. Her response was to snuggle in close where she had always fit so well in the dips and hills of my body. And then the unexpected happened: she slid her tongue over my bottom lip which only served to make me grow hard in my jeans. I opened my mouth for her and she pressed her tongue inside. She tasted so warm and sweet and everything I wished I had known all my life.
We laid there for quite a while just kissing tenderly, our tongues sometimes dancing together, sometimes with our mouths closed. Either way, it was magical for me. Even now, as I sit here typing this as a thirty-something year old man, I get chills just thinking about our first make-out session. It wasn’t hot and hormonal by any means -- even if my jeans did get tight. No, it wasn’t anything like that at all. We kissed slow and sweet in a way that made me dizzy with love. It was in that moment that I realized she felt exactly the way I did and that we’d be together for the rest of our lives. I just didn’t realize how short her life would turn out to be.