its just that
ive been thinking about her a lot lately, every word she said to me. the way she looked at me before we kissed, how she was somehow my wings and my protector despite the fact she was the one that needed protection. i don't know if it meant anything to her. i want her to call me when she comes into town this weekend, tell me everything is going to be alright, tell me that it wasn't bullshit she fed me because she wanted me to experience happiness. i want to explain things to her. how i think about her every day even though i was never truly gay, how i am constantly wondering what would have happened if i had told her the truth. because she told me what i wanted to believe was true, that if i would've told her how she was so far in my heart, how seeing her was something extraordinary beyond belief, everything, she would've made it something. us something. pure beauty, she couldn't be considered anything less. i can't hear anything about her, because my thoughts immediately following are infected with her, she's been nothing but an epidemic since the first day we spoke. it hurts when people speak about her, even someone mentioning her name.
it's more than true that i am in love with jeff, with my entire being. i just can't get her out of my head.
I imagine you when I was distant
Non-insistent
I follow suit and laid out on my back
Imagine that
A million hours left to think of you and think of that
Calm down, I'm calling you to say
I'm capsized, staring on the edge of safe
Calm down, I'm calling back to say
I'm home now
I'm coming around, I'm coming around
Nobody likes to but I really like to cry
Nobody likes me
Maybe if I cry