To the dumb fuck who stole my bike seat

[write_naked]

You are a rancid, deplorable, despicable asshat who happens to be occupying the body of a human being. You are pathetic and worthless, and if you had any financial incentive for taking my bike parts, you would have also stolen the tires, wheels, handlebars, and probably the derailer; they're all on quick release too, you stupid shit. If I ever happen to see you strolling down the street with my bike seat, or riding a bike that happens to have the same one, the peace testimony's off. Stay away from me and my bike, or else things will get nasty.

Hugs and kisses,
Seatless in Amherst