Eleven Days Left, But Who's Counting?
Well, it seems like I am moving to China. The reactions of my co-workers have been surprisingly supportive- such a change from my job in La Joya, where people actively discouraged each other from taking any kind of risk! My boyfriend and family too, are pretty encouraging. This is especially surprising coming from Noe, given that going to China means leaving him.
Our ability to cope with it comes and goes. It feels fucking awful sometimes, and at other times, it feels natural. Neither one of us feels ready to get married, and we're both definitely burned out on the status quo. So I have moments of being OK with it, and other moments of mortal fear and regret.
I do sort of wake up thinking, "Why can't I just move to the hill country, or southern Oregon, and get a dog? That appeals to me too, but I would never be able to quell the persistent what-if-ing, my innate desire to know the ever-elusive other (I'm interviewing for a job as like, a critical theory prof. or something right now...)
In the mean time, plenty of travel absurdities and logistics to deal with, enough packing to give me a head ache, enough good byes I don't even want to begin to think about. Must close up class, pack up house, figure out how to get rid of basically EVERYTHING I've accumulated, and find a job in Oregon. Oh, boy...
Why can't I just be happy moving to the hill country and getting a dog?
Our ability to cope with it comes and goes. It feels fucking awful sometimes, and at other times, it feels natural. Neither one of us feels ready to get married, and we're both definitely burned out on the status quo. So I have moments of being OK with it, and other moments of mortal fear and regret.
I do sort of wake up thinking, "Why can't I just move to the hill country, or southern Oregon, and get a dog? That appeals to me too, but I would never be able to quell the persistent what-if-ing, my innate desire to know the ever-elusive other (I'm interviewing for a job as like, a critical theory prof. or something right now...)
In the mean time, plenty of travel absurdities and logistics to deal with, enough packing to give me a head ache, enough good byes I don't even want to begin to think about. Must close up class, pack up house, figure out how to get rid of basically EVERYTHING I've accumulated, and find a job in Oregon. Oh, boy...
Why can't I just be happy moving to the hill country and getting a dog?