the meaning of family?
life is going extreamly well for me, as long as im let to do my own thing(meaning my family) things with kaitlyn are wonderfull. i feel good, i feel happy i feel confident, strong, acomplished. like im doing realy well. but this weekend my family went away, my brother had a football camp in syracuse. he was nice to me on return, and happy, i like hearing how well he did, he's realy good at football. i feel at peice with him and how much better then me he is. it happens and im happy for him. but so i was prety buisy, went on a mission trip on trusday and came back friday, it was realy just wonderfull, made me feel very good about myself. i was prety buisy all weekend. recently iv done alot of stuff. applied for another job, worked on my car, just little stuff that needed to get done. i washed my cloths, made myself meals (with barely anyfood in the house) i even went for a run this morning. i was so tired at night that i went to bed at 12 i was hopping to go to bed at least at 3 normaly i do. so i was feeling great, but then i was thinking how happy my family would be i got stuff done and was resposible and showed i could get stuff done on my own, i did alot more then if they were home. being home alone just feels right, like i can get more done when im by my self.(that means with kaitlyns help with some things(like the math test(thanks baby) i ate every meal, i normaly have trouble with that. so they get home, and i thought a family was suposed to make you feel good about your self, help you with stuff and build you up. mine only makes me want to comit myslef to a mental hospital. i was feeling good, just relaxing with my cup of tea. my ma came in, i dnt get the mail, i dnt do the dishs, and i dnt eat the huge bowl of potato salad she left, i coudl have only that all weekend and it would still be there, i did have a couple of bowls of it. but she complains at me, im shour she'll give me greif about my room still being a mess, i dnt care to clean my room, i do it ans then she acts like i never even touched it and she wanted it clean a couple of weeks ago. my sisters fight with me, right from the start. i feel traped and like everything i do is wrong. its even hard to talk to her, she acts like shes disopointed by everythig i do, and im not gona mention how my dad act twads me. buddy with my brother, but i have to do things on my own. its stupid, but iv gona learn to deal with them. im gona go hide in my hediously messy room, and play my satian music half as loud as my sisters but still its louder. that i dnt get. but im not gona let them get down on me, i feel good about myself, im just gone have to keep telling myself that, it realy is amazing how others can negatively afect you. and trust me i try hard to not let it. but they are my family.