This Friday past, I very gently let Cailean know how much some of your postings, since you two moved into my home 30Jan14, have hurt me.
As we all know, these postings are for the world-at-large to see: should a new friend, relative, possible Hawaiian employer for Cailean, etc., simply Google your name, your LiveJournal pops up. I had acknowledged to Cailean that OF COURSE we all have the right to post whatever content we choose. I asked that he couch my request (i.e., to please exclude negative and hurtful postings about myself and my family/home/personal finances) to you very kindly, keeping in mind my desire to maintain our positive relationship. It appears he chose to do neither.
Further, I'm assuming his presentation/anger is a product of being given Notice (with Madison in attendance) last Friday, on our drive back home from Hilo. SAID NOTICE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR POSTINGS. At that time, I explained that he was welcome to stay in our home through your arrival date back in Hawaii, and then, as a couple, you two could enjoy using the next 30 days to find alternate housing here on-Island (note* please do re-read your own LiveJournal posting of 22May14). Sadly, I simply cannot continue the struggle to support two additional persons in my home.
However, in the few days following, Cailean has escalated that moving date to one of an immediate nature. I am loathe to post those reasons in this forum; doing so would continue the cycle of not doing exactly what I had requested from you: to use some decorum, politeness, and thoughtfulness for others, before hurting people by the act of invading THEIR own privacy, in a very public format.
Even though I am hurt by your words - and Cailean's pointed FaceBook words, evidently posted for me, yesterday - it has no bearing upon the fact that I cannot continue the (extended) support for the two of you. I love you 💜 and 💜 your husband both dearly, but the stress it has put upon myself, you two and the family has become too much. It has turned into a volatile situation, and that was not the intent of our original arrangement a year and one-half ago. I honestly believe that separating cohabitation ASAP will, hopefully, pave a way for rebuilding our relationship(s) in the future.
With Much Love and Aloha, K
P.S. Per the closing 'calling-out' to me in your LJ post this date (re: 'fame'/'ego'): FYI, evidently on LiveJournal, 'everyone will be obnoxious and famous to 15 people [sic]'...
I think it's great that Kallian is looking for a place, I think we've collectively encroached on your hospitality long enough.
As with many situations, it seems there have been miscommunications along the way leading to things being more fraught than they need to be. Hopefully time and space will work their usual magic of smoothing things over somewhat.
On the other topic... Yes, my lj does come up when my name is typed. Yes, anyone who wants to waste the time can read it, even trawling back over ten years should they have the stamina. I'm sorry you found posts I'd written a year back upsetting.
"...If others think differently from you, you must battle it out with them. You must argue and publish and learn to live as I do - in the face of constant criticism, oppression and censure. That, sir, is the English way!" Sir Walter Pole, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Let's be very clear, for your LiveJournal record.
This Friday past, I very gently let Cailean know how much some of your postings, since you two moved into my home 30Jan14, have hurt me.
As we all know, these postings are for the world-at-large to see: should a new friend, relative, possible Hawaiian employer for Cailean, etc., simply Google your name, your LiveJournal pops up. I had acknowledged to Cailean that OF COURSE we all have the right to post whatever content we choose. I asked that he couch my request (i.e., to please exclude negative and hurtful postings about myself and my family/home/personal finances) to you very kindly, keeping in mind my desire to maintain our positive relationship. It appears he chose to do neither.
Further, I'm assuming his presentation/anger is a product of being given Notice (with Madison in attendance) last Friday, on our drive back home from Hilo. SAID NOTICE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR POSTINGS. At that time, I explained that he was welcome to stay in our home through your arrival date back in Hawaii, and then, as a couple, you two could enjoy using the next 30 days to find alternate housing here on-Island (note* please do re-read your own LiveJournal posting of 22May14). Sadly, I simply cannot continue the struggle to support two additional persons in my home.
However, in the few days following, Cailean has escalated that moving date to one of an immediate nature. I am loathe to post those reasons in this forum; doing so would continue the cycle of not doing exactly what I had requested from you: to use some decorum, politeness, and thoughtfulness for others, before hurting people by the act of invading THEIR own privacy, in a very public format.
Even though I am hurt by your words - and Cailean's pointed FaceBook words, evidently posted for me, yesterday - it has no bearing upon the fact that I cannot continue the (extended) support for the two of you. I love you 💜 and 💜 your husband both dearly, but the stress it has put upon myself, you two and the family has become too much. It has turned into a volatile situation, and that was not the intent of our original arrangement a year and one-half ago. I honestly believe that separating cohabitation ASAP will, hopefully, pave a way for rebuilding our relationship(s) in the future.
With Much Love and Aloha,
K
P.S. Per the closing 'calling-out' to me in your LJ post this date (re: 'fame'/'ego'): FYI, evidently on LiveJournal, 'everyone will be obnoxious and famous to 15 people [sic]'...
P.P.S. 😄
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As with many situations, it seems there have been miscommunications along the way leading to things being more fraught than they need to be. Hopefully time and space will work their usual magic of smoothing things over somewhat.
On the other topic... Yes, my lj does come up when my name is typed. Yes, anyone who wants to waste the time can read it, even trawling back over ten years should they have the stamina. I'm sorry you found posts I'd written a year back upsetting.
"...If others think differently from you, you must battle it out with them. You must argue and publish and learn to live as I do - in the face of constant criticism, oppression and censure. That, sir, is the English way!" Sir Walter Pole, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
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