Hawaiian Superman...
We were having a break at the Brew Haus the other day, and a band was playing. No idea who they were, but they weren't that great really. There was a song about 'Baby rub my belly like Guava jelly' or something equally inane and brain melting. But then there was a song about 'magical mystical Maui' and something to do with 'Hawaiian Superman'.
I immediately started giggling, imagining if Clark Kent had grown up raised in Hawai'i. He'd wear board shorts and warrior shell necklace and his cape would be the Hawaiian flag. He'd speak pidgin, call everyone Aunty or Uncle or 'Eh, Bra!'. When doing his day job he'd be a mild mannered uke player in an obnoxious shirt; he'd use his hypno-powers to make everyone think he was hugely overweight and very soft-spoken like Brother Iz. His nemesises (what the hell is the correct plural?) would be legion.
They'd include...
GOVERNMENT MAN - an evil sharp-suited Lex Luther rip-off (American, male).
CAPTAIN COOK - a colonial slave trader and all round baddie (British, male).
NIGHTWALKER - an archeologist who found a tiki artifact and is now possessed (European - Dutch maybe, female).
SHARKMAN - a mad scientist type who is obsessed with 'improving' sharks and using them as his minions (Australasian, male).
PELE - a smoldering Emma Frost Island Girl who plays villains and heroes off one another as her whim dictates (Hawaiian, female).
HAOLE BOY - a white boy who moved to the islands but doesn't get the culture. He is initially an antagonist, but once taught the error of his ways he becomes Superman's sidekick.
All the sound effects in any fight would be Hawaiin slang, and instead of talking about American family values or being a decent person, Superman would talk about the joys of island life and how one shouldn't piss off the gods, also take your shoes off before entering a house and be mindful of your Aunties and Uncles - don't give 'em no shit, bra.
Heeeeeheeee!
I immediately started giggling, imagining if Clark Kent had grown up raised in Hawai'i. He'd wear board shorts and warrior shell necklace and his cape would be the Hawaiian flag. He'd speak pidgin, call everyone Aunty or Uncle or 'Eh, Bra!'. When doing his day job he'd be a mild mannered uke player in an obnoxious shirt; he'd use his hypno-powers to make everyone think he was hugely overweight and very soft-spoken like Brother Iz. His nemesises (what the hell is the correct plural?) would be legion.
They'd include...
GOVERNMENT MAN - an evil sharp-suited Lex Luther rip-off (American, male).
CAPTAIN COOK - a colonial slave trader and all round baddie (British, male).
NIGHTWALKER - an archeologist who found a tiki artifact and is now possessed (European - Dutch maybe, female).
SHARKMAN - a mad scientist type who is obsessed with 'improving' sharks and using them as his minions (Australasian, male).
PELE - a smoldering Emma Frost Island Girl who plays villains and heroes off one another as her whim dictates (Hawaiian, female).
HAOLE BOY - a white boy who moved to the islands but doesn't get the culture. He is initially an antagonist, but once taught the error of his ways he becomes Superman's sidekick.
All the sound effects in any fight would be Hawaiin slang, and instead of talking about American family values or being a decent person, Superman would talk about the joys of island life and how one shouldn't piss off the gods, also take your shoes off before entering a house and be mindful of your Aunties and Uncles - don't give 'em no shit, bra.
Heeeeeheeee!