Well, that was... interesting
I have inadvertently discovered the simple way to allow a sane person to experience manic depression (the bias definitely being on the depressive side.) It's not scientifically tested, or even scientific at all. But I haven't even thought about scalpels for at least six months, nor stabbed myself badly in at least two years, and this had me
1) Drink several cups of dark roasted pure Kona coffee.
(This is Hawai'i mountain coffee: it's very strong, but not bitter. It's also expensive. I have no fucking idea whether any other coffee works.)
2) Then work on a very involved and complicated or tiring project. Any time you're thirsty, drink more coffee. After an hour or two, drink some bourbon. Not much, just a sip or so in passing.
3) After another hour, put on some music (I'd suggest Florence & the Machine's Breath of Life, but your tastes may require something else. {Just make sure it's powerful enough to evoke a strong emotional response from you.}) Then drink a shot of bourbon - possibly, depending on your weight or tolerance you might require a double.
I've no idea about anyone else, but all of a sudden I was in full self-evisceration mode.
It lasted about ten minutes, and in that time I had access to all those depressive emotions and brain patterns that I know so well but have entirely forgotten.
There are only two reasons why I'm still whole and not bleeding; firstly we're still unpacking things and I have no idea where my scalpel is. Secondly, and more importantly, I had a chitten on my lap. It's very hard to self harm when you have a small cat curled up and purring on your lap. In fact unless you have a blade already in your hand it's impossible.
1) Drink several cups of dark roasted pure Kona coffee.
(This is Hawai'i mountain coffee: it's very strong, but not bitter. It's also expensive. I have no fucking idea whether any other coffee works.)
2) Then work on a very involved and complicated or tiring project. Any time you're thirsty, drink more coffee. After an hour or two, drink some bourbon. Not much, just a sip or so in passing.
3) After another hour, put on some music (I'd suggest Florence & the Machine's Breath of Life, but your tastes may require something else. {Just make sure it's powerful enough to evoke a strong emotional response from you.}) Then drink a shot of bourbon - possibly, depending on your weight or tolerance you might require a double.
I've no idea about anyone else, but all of a sudden I was in full self-evisceration mode.
It lasted about ten minutes, and in that time I had access to all those depressive emotions and brain patterns that I know so well but have entirely forgotten.
There are only two reasons why I'm still whole and not bleeding; firstly we're still unpacking things and I have no idea where my scalpel is. Secondly, and more importantly, I had a chitten on my lap. It's very hard to self harm when you have a small cat curled up and purring on your lap. In fact unless you have a blade already in your hand it's impossible.