Wheeeee - religion!
Have just spent an awfully long time talking to a couple of Jehovah's witnesses. I have no idea what they were babbling about as the lady managed to contradict herself constantly. It was quite obvious she hadn't *actually* read the bible, just the regurgitated quotes. I'm not sure she'd even heard of Leviticus.
I think she wanted to know if I believed god would appear, smite the bad and turn the earth to paradise any time soon. I said no, not really, and personally if he did I wouldn't be overjoyed I'd be bloody terrified. Also unimpressed - I happen to think Jehovah is a bit of a cock and I wouldn't trust him to successfully organise a piss-up in a brewery.
They asked me if I believed in god. I said I believe in two gods who were quite small and absent minded and drank a lot of tea and wanted people to be meekle to each other.
They gave me the Watchtower and some other equally scary pamphlets full of wibble. The one called 'Listen to God and Live Forever' is amazing - seriously. Did you know that *before* he created anything else, God created a mighty spirit person called Jeff Jesus? Apparently the King James bible is missing a few verses...
Oh, and did you know that wicked spirit forces are the real rulers of the world? Rocking! I say we arm up with ghost nukes and psi-blades and go kick some evil-spirit-arse! Although we're not meant to worship idols or 'practice spiritism'. (Spiritism?!) Seems clear to me if we practiced spiritism we might get good at it and then be able to stab the evil spirit forces and make everything shiny. Let's go!
....
Wait - was that not what the Watchtower was trying to teach me?
I think she wanted to know if I believed god would appear, smite the bad and turn the earth to paradise any time soon. I said no, not really, and personally if he did I wouldn't be overjoyed I'd be bloody terrified. Also unimpressed - I happen to think Jehovah is a bit of a cock and I wouldn't trust him to successfully organise a piss-up in a brewery.
They asked me if I believed in god. I said I believe in two gods who were quite small and absent minded and drank a lot of tea and wanted people to be meekle to each other.
They gave me the Watchtower and some other equally scary pamphlets full of wibble. The one called 'Listen to God and Live Forever' is amazing - seriously. Did you know that *before* he created anything else, God created a mighty spirit person called Jeff Jesus? Apparently the King James bible is missing a few verses...
Oh, and did you know that wicked spirit forces are the real rulers of the world? Rocking! I say we arm up with ghost nukes and psi-blades and go kick some evil-spirit-arse! Although we're not meant to worship idols or 'practice spiritism'. (Spiritism?!) Seems clear to me if we practiced spiritism we might get good at it and then be able to stab the evil spirit forces and make everything shiny. Let's go!
....
Wait - was that not what the Watchtower was trying to teach me?