"It's colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for
Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting don't you think?
To dress the ground in white
And grey..."
A couple of years ago - our last Christmas at Kew, I think - I remember talking to my sister about death and ghosts and the like. She said that she was quite happy to be able to see ghosts now she knew how to deal with it - there were friends of hers who'd died of ODs and car crashes and she could still talk to them whenever she liked - everything was peachy-keen. I smiled and nodded (as I often do with my younger sister, especially when I suspect she's been on the old Marching Powder - and dear gods could she march some days.)
But today, I remember what she said and find myself agreeing - albeit from a slightly different stance. The dead I can talk to (yeah yeah, usual caveat applies, I may be deluding myself or it may be real - if I believe it, it's still real for me and so in this instance counts as far as it goes)... the dead I can talk to, it's the living that I have trouble with.
Actually I'm not going to write a post about this. I'm having a bad feather day of epic proportions and rather want to down a quart of whiskey but I can't because I don't have any.
I think actually what set all this off was... well the first bit is none of anybody's business, the second bit is that Mike was telling me of a possible admin job I could try for, nine-til-five... And I realised I would have to try for it just to get some damn money, but also - regardless of whether I'm competent enough to do it or not - I don't want it.
I want above and beyond anything else in this entire fucking world that's within the realms of possibility, to spent this year screen printing. A while back I had my 'Girl Who' story idea and that happily ate my life. Now I have this whole 'screen print a month' thing. If doing filing for my father paid me £700 a month then that would be fine, but it doesn't, it leaves me at least £500 short. I need £500-£550 for rent and bills a month and £200-£300 a month living allowance depending on how good I'm being - not a vast amount, but as unreachable as the moon if you don't have it.
So. This is unlikely -fucking unlikely, frankly - but I ask anyway because you never know.
Does any one fancy (or know someone who might) paying me £500 a month for twelve months beginning in February to do a limited edition screen print calendar for them each month? In fact, it could begin in April and I'd give them the previous months for free (or just lower the price per month but I can't be arsed to do the maths...)
I'm guessing 'no'. Which isn't really a surprise, but I had to ask on the off chance.
"Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits..."
I really shouldn't be listening to this song.
Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting don't you think?
To dress the ground in white
And grey..."
A couple of years ago - our last Christmas at Kew, I think - I remember talking to my sister about death and ghosts and the like. She said that she was quite happy to be able to see ghosts now she knew how to deal with it - there were friends of hers who'd died of ODs and car crashes and she could still talk to them whenever she liked - everything was peachy-keen. I smiled and nodded (as I often do with my younger sister, especially when I suspect she's been on the old Marching Powder - and dear gods could she march some days.)
But today, I remember what she said and find myself agreeing - albeit from a slightly different stance. The dead I can talk to (yeah yeah, usual caveat applies, I may be deluding myself or it may be real - if I believe it, it's still real for me and so in this instance counts as far as it goes)... the dead I can talk to, it's the living that I have trouble with.
Actually I'm not going to write a post about this. I'm having a bad feather day of epic proportions and rather want to down a quart of whiskey but I can't because I don't have any.
I think actually what set all this off was... well the first bit is none of anybody's business, the second bit is that Mike was telling me of a possible admin job I could try for, nine-til-five... And I realised I would have to try for it just to get some damn money, but also - regardless of whether I'm competent enough to do it or not - I don't want it.
I want above and beyond anything else in this entire fucking world that's within the realms of possibility, to spent this year screen printing. A while back I had my 'Girl Who' story idea and that happily ate my life. Now I have this whole 'screen print a month' thing. If doing filing for my father paid me £700 a month then that would be fine, but it doesn't, it leaves me at least £500 short. I need £500-£550 for rent and bills a month and £200-£300 a month living allowance depending on how good I'm being - not a vast amount, but as unreachable as the moon if you don't have it.
So. This is unlikely -fucking unlikely, frankly - but I ask anyway because you never know.
Does any one fancy (or know someone who might) paying me £500 a month for twelve months beginning in February to do a limited edition screen print calendar for them each month? In fact, it could begin in April and I'd give them the previous months for free (or just lower the price per month but I can't be arsed to do the maths...)
I'm guessing 'no'. Which isn't really a surprise, but I had to ask on the off chance.
"Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits..."
I really shouldn't be listening to this song.