attempted not-rant
I don't enjoy disliking or not getting on with people when I don't have a reason why. Oh if my neurons brand them bastards for their behaviour, fine. But to find someone irritating or contemptible or any other social negative that can be thought of and *not know the reason*... That just makes me fear I'm being pointlessly unfair and judgmental for no reason at all.
I was thinking on this because of going to House of Them to visit everyone. Seeing Izzy there was expected but her annoying me instead of amusing me was not. Standing in the hallway (unintentionally) between her and Matt my neurons stared as I surveyed the wall and tried desperately to think of a reason to like her. It was difficult; I don't know her at all and I was painfully aware of how much she wished I was elsewhere. (Fair enough really. If I fancied the arse off someone and their current love was there and I was sure they hated me - well, I'd wish them far away too.)
She spoke of running out of meds in a tone that at once implied it was deadly fucking serious, but also that she was uber-cool, tempered by suffering and would somehow deal. Yeah, I recognised that tone and those little body language signals because I've used them myself, fuck you. (And sometimes I lied, and sometimes I didn't.)
She would be without meds for three days. The stronger the meds (generally) the longer they take to fade in and out of someone's system. Unless her meds are so mild as to be little better than placebo pills, it will take at least a week before she feels any adverse affect at all. Daft game-playing bitch. (Takes one to know one? Hell yes.)
And then she asked Charlotte to summon down angels for her or something in the tone of voice that implied it was all just a bit of silliness because 'she needed all the help she could get' for her job interview. I felt myself squirm. It was the sort of mistake that often gets made at parties, one that is unintentional and belittling and totally stupid. I wanted to verbally raze her to ash I felt so ashamed on her behalf. (Heh - the witch feeling protective of Charlotte - never!)
But after that, at the back of my mind, I started to realise why I don't much care for Izzy. (And why, if Ketch acts as she now does why I won't much care for her.) She's like the girls I used to go to school with. The upper middle class queens who were immersed in their own little worlds of hyper reality, who thought that having a uterus made them important and tits attractive, who behaved stupidly and paid for it and then were fawned over and told it wasn't their fault. Who were either perfect and above everything or just a little messed up in a wonderfully fashionably kooky way and so were brave and daring... How they all made me want to spit nails. The social games they played and strata they erected around themselves was ridiculous, their behaviour infantile, their love and loyalty mercenary and their morals one-sided.
No, Izzy is not that bad - but only because she isn't 16 any more - there is still all that at the core of her. Or so it seems to me. (Although if she read this she would probably be surprised and indignant at my views, as anyone would.)
I wish I did like her better. Disliking her can be misconstrued as hating her - and for extremely insecure, petty reasons. I don't care whether she wants to fuck Matt or not. In many ways I don't even care if she tries it. He will either be with her or he won't, he will have his reasons either way and it's none of my damn business.
A while back this was in ketch's lj...
Stomp :) - random thought/query
I was having a think about this last night. To me, stomp always sounded a bit too like stamp and therefore gave the impression of a toddler's tantrum. But to be stompy among you lot, appears to be something different. How would you define to stomp/stompy person?
Some replies were...
blue_cat
2005-03-11 13:38
erm, I think it matters more who & under what circumstances you are refering.
For example I think I heard it first (in the UK) relation to the goth scene, but in particular big stompy boots - so for me it has retained the connotations of that and as a result it is, to me, having fun like you don't care who sees you, or getting stompy at someone is more, um, for their own good, giving someone a much needed kick up the backside.
wraithwitch
2005-03-11 13:42
'being stompy' can have as many connotations as it can have ways of doing the act. in my head 'being stompy' is the antithesis of how a girl is traditionally supposed to behave. it is ignoring other's wishes and adhering to your own. it is having an opinion and voicing it. it is doing what you like *because* you like. it is telling truth even if it is unwelcome. it is not giving in, up, out or over. and best of all (if you can you get extra points) it is doing all this with style.
laumiere
2005-03-11 13:45
I tend to see that as being a feminist, in my family 'stompy' meant behaving like a small child... I thin i prefer 'rah!'
wraithwitch
2005-03-11 13:56
*thinks*
y-es, it is feminist, but only if a girl is doing it - so that lable seems counter productive.
'stompiness' has more qualities to it.
perhaps I shouldn't have said it was the antithesis of how a girl is expected to behave, because i have told boys to be stompy too and i didn't mean 'feminist'. (although that might have been amusing...)
yeah, it probably means the same as 'rah!'.
Bluecat had it right of course, and my explanation was poor in comparison. But Izzy's reply just annoyed me. Primarily because girls who use the word 'feminist' without a hint of irony annoy me. And secondly because her statement implies a smug coda of 'I already do all of that - with style!' but I know that's probably just me, trying to read between the lines when there's just white page.
Ketch is very much under Izzy's wing, that is easy to see. And before any thought surfaces to the tune of 'jealous and bitter she no longer looks up to you' kill it. It wasn't difficult to figure Ketch chose me because I was there - and trying to aid her when she wibbled was a lot more frustrating than it was rewarding. I wonder how much she changed when hanging around with me... I wonder how much she will change now she's with Izzy... I wonder how much either of us effected her for the better. So far I'm unimpressed with the Izzy'dketch. Perhaps it will get better - and by that I mean settle down more than anything.
EDIT: Oh dear gods I have just seen a post on lj to which Ketch has replied, 'What's wrong hon?"
Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhh! I hate that word. Can no one manage a string of letters that form more than one sylable any more? Does no one ever realise that their are some words that just sound ridiculous if 85% of the populous use them? 'Hon' is definitely such a word. The idea of Ketch saying 'Hon' in her upper middle class girlish voice is painful - about as painful as if I said it.
Yes, yes, as you can see I am just getting unreasonably irritated by the actions of a couple of wenches when really I shouldn't care - and I don't - I'm just irritated anyway =P
I was thinking on this because of going to House of Them to visit everyone. Seeing Izzy there was expected but her annoying me instead of amusing me was not. Standing in the hallway (unintentionally) between her and Matt my neurons stared as I surveyed the wall and tried desperately to think of a reason to like her. It was difficult; I don't know her at all and I was painfully aware of how much she wished I was elsewhere. (Fair enough really. If I fancied the arse off someone and their current love was there and I was sure they hated me - well, I'd wish them far away too.)
She spoke of running out of meds in a tone that at once implied it was deadly fucking serious, but also that she was uber-cool, tempered by suffering and would somehow deal. Yeah, I recognised that tone and those little body language signals because I've used them myself, fuck you. (And sometimes I lied, and sometimes I didn't.)
She would be without meds for three days. The stronger the meds (generally) the longer they take to fade in and out of someone's system. Unless her meds are so mild as to be little better than placebo pills, it will take at least a week before she feels any adverse affect at all. Daft game-playing bitch. (Takes one to know one? Hell yes.)
And then she asked Charlotte to summon down angels for her or something in the tone of voice that implied it was all just a bit of silliness because 'she needed all the help she could get' for her job interview. I felt myself squirm. It was the sort of mistake that often gets made at parties, one that is unintentional and belittling and totally stupid. I wanted to verbally raze her to ash I felt so ashamed on her behalf. (Heh - the witch feeling protective of Charlotte - never!)
But after that, at the back of my mind, I started to realise why I don't much care for Izzy. (And why, if Ketch acts as she now does why I won't much care for her.) She's like the girls I used to go to school with. The upper middle class queens who were immersed in their own little worlds of hyper reality, who thought that having a uterus made them important and tits attractive, who behaved stupidly and paid for it and then were fawned over and told it wasn't their fault. Who were either perfect and above everything or just a little messed up in a wonderfully fashionably kooky way and so were brave and daring... How they all made me want to spit nails. The social games they played and strata they erected around themselves was ridiculous, their behaviour infantile, their love and loyalty mercenary and their morals one-sided.
No, Izzy is not that bad - but only because she isn't 16 any more - there is still all that at the core of her. Or so it seems to me. (Although if she read this she would probably be surprised and indignant at my views, as anyone would.)
I wish I did like her better. Disliking her can be misconstrued as hating her - and for extremely insecure, petty reasons. I don't care whether she wants to fuck Matt or not. In many ways I don't even care if she tries it. He will either be with her or he won't, he will have his reasons either way and it's none of my damn business.
A while back this was in ketch's lj...
Stomp :) - random thought/query
I was having a think about this last night. To me, stomp always sounded a bit too like stamp and therefore gave the impression of a toddler's tantrum. But to be stompy among you lot, appears to be something different. How would you define to stomp/stompy person?
Some replies were...
blue_cat
2005-03-11 13:38
erm, I think it matters more who & under what circumstances you are refering.
For example I think I heard it first (in the UK) relation to the goth scene, but in particular big stompy boots - so for me it has retained the connotations of that and as a result it is, to me, having fun like you don't care who sees you, or getting stompy at someone is more, um, for their own good, giving someone a much needed kick up the backside.
wraithwitch
2005-03-11 13:42
'being stompy' can have as many connotations as it can have ways of doing the act. in my head 'being stompy' is the antithesis of how a girl is traditionally supposed to behave. it is ignoring other's wishes and adhering to your own. it is having an opinion and voicing it. it is doing what you like *because* you like. it is telling truth even if it is unwelcome. it is not giving in, up, out or over. and best of all (if you can you get extra points) it is doing all this with style.
laumiere
2005-03-11 13:45
I tend to see that as being a feminist, in my family 'stompy' meant behaving like a small child... I thin i prefer 'rah!'
wraithwitch
2005-03-11 13:56
*thinks*
y-es, it is feminist, but only if a girl is doing it - so that lable seems counter productive.
'stompiness' has more qualities to it.
perhaps I shouldn't have said it was the antithesis of how a girl is expected to behave, because i have told boys to be stompy too and i didn't mean 'feminist'. (although that might have been amusing...)
yeah, it probably means the same as 'rah!'.
Bluecat had it right of course, and my explanation was poor in comparison. But Izzy's reply just annoyed me. Primarily because girls who use the word 'feminist' without a hint of irony annoy me. And secondly because her statement implies a smug coda of 'I already do all of that - with style!' but I know that's probably just me, trying to read between the lines when there's just white page.
Ketch is very much under Izzy's wing, that is easy to see. And before any thought surfaces to the tune of 'jealous and bitter she no longer looks up to you' kill it. It wasn't difficult to figure Ketch chose me because I was there - and trying to aid her when she wibbled was a lot more frustrating than it was rewarding. I wonder how much she changed when hanging around with me... I wonder how much she will change now she's with Izzy... I wonder how much either of us effected her for the better. So far I'm unimpressed with the Izzy'dketch. Perhaps it will get better - and by that I mean settle down more than anything.
EDIT: Oh dear gods I have just seen a post on lj to which Ketch has replied, 'What's wrong hon?"
Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhh! I hate that word. Can no one manage a string of letters that form more than one sylable any more? Does no one ever realise that their are some words that just sound ridiculous if 85% of the populous use them? 'Hon' is definitely such a word. The idea of Ketch saying 'Hon' in her upper middle class girlish voice is painful - about as painful as if I said it.
Yes, yes, as you can see I am just getting unreasonably irritated by the actions of a couple of wenches when really I shouldn't care - and I don't - I'm just irritated anyway =P