Comments | woundkindatight: i'm about to break your fall

lastguardian in woundkindatight

i'm about to break your fall

Mar 27, 2005 11:18

I looked out the window as Sunnydale went away, as my life in Sunnydale turned into distant past, and I wished it had turned out a little bit differently. I mean, I knew that Xander was going to be upset with me and I knew that Willow would probably be quietly supportive, but I definitely didn't expect Giles to be... let's just say that I'd counted ( Read more... )

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wickedslayer March 27 2005, 21:46:52 UTC

Angel and I hadn't said much since he brought up the whole Wes thing. Yeah, things were complicated. That was pretty much the understatement of the century. I almost tortured him to death, and I still wasn't sure if I was sorry about that or not. Now Wes and Cordelia had quit Team Angel because I was back on the scene. Cordy got visions, which meant we were gonna have to stalk them practically. Thought I'd already done enough stalking for one lifetime. Following Angel and B around, now I was gonna have to follow around my ex-watcher and Sunnydale High's own prom queen ( ... )

lastguardian March 27 2005, 22:00:02 UTC

I couldn't decide where to put my bags. Floor in front of the closet or floor in front of the bed? They both had their virtues. The bed won out as close would, theoretically, be hung in the closet eventually. I was rethinking my decision when I heard the door swing open.

I turned around and found myself face to face with Faith and Angel, and my jaw dropped. I snapped it shut, trying to at least pretend that Faith's presence hadn't shocked me completely -- unconvincingly trying to pretend that Angel had let me know what he was about to do.

Fuck.

What was she doing here? I mean, I knew that Angel and I had discussed the potential of Faith not being in prison, but that was yesterday and I didn't remember talking about actually getting her out. I glanced quickly at Angel, who looked all stoic and ... defiant? and then quickly shifted my gaze back to Faith.

"Out on parole?"

not_a_eunuch March 27 2005, 22:20:44 UTC

I said this would be easy. Obviously, I'd forgotten what living with two women was like. Looking from a glaring Buffy to a glaring Faith, I decided to step between them. Because I had a death wish, apparently.

"Buffy. We talked about my plans to get Faith out of jail, remember?"

The look Buffy shot me should have turned me to dust on the spot. I looked over at Faith who arched an eyebrow at me. Maybe it would be easier to talk to Faith. It couldn't go worse than trying to reason with a pissed off Buffy Summers. Turning to look at Faith, but making sure I could still see if Buffy decided to kick me into the nearest wall, I smiled gently at Faith.

"Buffy is just a little shocked that I was able to arrange your release so quickly. I'm sure once you both get settled, things will be fine."

I really wished a big slimy demon could attack and distract us from this conversation. Maybe a portal could open up and swallow me. I bet a hell dimension was nice this time of year.

wickedslayer March 27 2005, 22:27:23 UTC

Parole? What the fuck? See! I knew he was lyin' to me! Just when you try and trust someone they had to stomp all over it with their big stupid vampire shoes. And I was pissed at me, cause the entire time I knew he was lyin' to me and I bought into it anyway. That was how desperation worked, ya know? Willing to believe anything after awhile and I so badly wanted to believe in Angel.

Then just when I thought the situation couldn't get any worse? Angel decided to step in the middle, and speak for both of us. Fine. Fine? Things were NEVER gonna be fine. I was never gonna be fine. This whole idea was stupid and completely fucked and there was no way in hell I could live with these two. No way in hell they could live with me ( ... )

not_a_eunuch March 27 2005, 22:50:54 UTC

A kick to the gut would have been less painful than watching the trust slip out of Faith's eyes and the sound of her voice when she answered me. I'd fucked up. Screwed everything up by telling half truth's and hoping things would fall into place once we were all together ( ... )

lastguardian March 28 2005, 04:28:45 UTC

I crossed my arms and glared at Angel. Faith was... well, she was out of jail and Angel had probably gotten her out legally, so it looked like we were stuck with her. For the time being at least. But how dare he -- after all we'd talked about -- how dare he just assume that I'd be okay with being around her?

"I don't think I was part of that conversation, Angel," I seethed, completely ignoring Faith's presence. "I thought we'd agreed that Faith needed to help herself, and frankly? I don't think she's done that in the past twenty-four hours."

I turned to the closet and picked up my leather satchel, flinging it over my shoulder. I paused. "I'm out of here." I began striding to the doorway, all the while wondering if Angel was going to stop me. I wouldn't have been surprised either way, but Angel always found new and exciting ways to bring on the shock factor.

It was just a shame that he was all I could see.

prodigal_slayer March 28 2005, 04:57:17 UTC

It was like bein' frozen in time for a few minutes. Standin' near the elevator door, lookin' between Buffy and Angel. The two of them were really focused on eachother. Reminded me of a few days ago when he hit her she hit him, was the cycle gonna start all over again? Cause damn, I could back home to mom in South Boston and watch this shit ( ... )

not_a_eunuch March 28 2005, 05:05:06 UTC

"No ( ... )

lastguardian March 28 2005, 05:30:58 UTC

Faith. Me. Angel, standing in the middle like a complete jackass, and me, the actual jackass for being surprised at his behavior. Why I was surprised, I had no idea, but the very notion of being surprised pissed me off, and what pissed me off even more was the fact that I was pissed off about being pissed off because I was surprised, which I shouldn't have been. Surprised or pissed off ( ... )

prodigal_slayer March 28 2005, 05:42:33 UTC

Oh he just had to say that, didn't he? Had to bring up the cryin' in the rain thing. Did he have any idea what he was doin'? I felt totally played again, and my first instinct was to run right out the door. I was supposed to trust him, I was tryin' so hard to trust him.

"I'm not!" I yelled out suddenly, and again with the two of them lookin' at me surprised. Did they just periodically forget I was in the room, or what? They were so intense and it just made everything else more intense. Almost was startin' to prefer prison. But another thing Angel had said that stuck with me? About hiding away so I wouldn't have to face it? Well, how was I supposed to face this if she wouldn't even give me a chance to say or do anything? I couldn't...I can't make it up to her.

"I won't. Look B, I know you got no reason to trust me but...."

"If you apologize to me I will beat you to death."

"Go ahead.""Just tell me how to make it better." I pleaded with her for the second time. I wanted to know how to make it better, and she was the good slayer! ( ... )

lastguardian March 28 2005, 05:58:10 UTC

There was really nothing that I could do but stare at her. She looked as though she was about to fall apart, and even though there was a little twinge guilt, I tried to tell myself that I didn't care. That just because she said she wanted to make things better didn't mean a damned thing when she'd already screwed up my life at every bend ( ... )

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