A Christmas Post
I must admit that much has changed since my last post although it doesn't exactly seem plausible to experience that much of a 180 from so short ago. All I seem to be left saying is that God works in incredibly mysterious ways. I realize now that this phrase does not signify that God's intentions are always clear and just sometimes surprising. It was made to explain situations that are horrible or inexplicable but seem to bring about something that needed to come about.
I apologize for the confusion to those of you who do not know the events of my Christmas thus far. Let's pick up where we left off, shall we? I get back after my drive and my mom is downstairs as she's been unable to sleep as of late. Last Wednesday she had gone to the emergency room and they sent her home with a diagnosis of bronchitis. By Saturday night, I had gotten used to coming home and seeing her sitting in her rocker and trying to fall asleep. I had to get to work on Sunday morning so I offed myself to bed and slept.
In the morning I was awoken before my alarm by a call from my dad saying that mom had gone back to the emergency room as she wasn't seeming to get better and that if I had time during the day I should stop by and sit with her. I told him that I had to work, but I would talk to my manager and see if she could let me out right when we closed. I showered and got ready for work. On my way to Oakbrook, I think that's when it really hit me the hardest that my mom was in the hospital again and would be all night. There has really only been one other time when my mom had to stay overnight in the hospital, and during that whole time it was stated that she could have died. So I started freaking out. By the time I got to Disney my eyes were completely bloodshot and my one manager commented that I looked like death.
After changing into my uniform my manager, who she herself had just come back after spending a week with HER mother as she had been diagnosed with cancer, came to me privately and said that it would be best if I didn't work then but instead spent time with family. I thanked her profusely and changed back and drove to the hospital.
There I sat. Until about 8ish when we (Adam, Chelsey, my dad, and I) went back home to relax a bit before worship at 11. After church, we went back and my dad read Twas the Night Before Christmas and we each opened a present and went to bed. This was not an easy task. I had much on my mind. Namely the events of the day and the feelings from the previous night. I couldn't really calm down at that point until about 4 when I eventually got to sleep.
This morning, Christmas, we woke up at about 9 to open our stockings and pack up everything to take over to the hospital where we would open presents with mom. After opening some of the weirdest collection of presents I've ever recieved (A Sigmund Freud action figure, a watch with the "Free Gift With Purchase" sticker still attached, Ten Commandment Post-It Notes, etc.) and some awkward glances and uncomfortable feelings-- Christmas started to settle in. In all actuality it didn't feel that different from any other Christmas. The family was there, the spirit was there, I didn't change or shower. Same smelly good times except it wasn't in the comfort of my own home-- which I've found doesn't mean that much to me as it did now that I've been in WI for a good long while. Location and time aren't what I'm looking for.
I don't mean to bitch about Disney as much as I do. I really do just get in to the swing of things and that ends up with a lot of harsh feelings about life in general and Disney seems to get the burden. I really do enjoy Disney and respect and care for everyone I work with. Sometimes they're idiots, but then again so am I. The major thing is that I just remember what I'm thankful for. What I have is enough-- what I lack can be dealt with. What I need I will find a way to get. What I want isn't necessary.
By the by, Christmas dinner was spent with my mom being allowed to come home early because of the holiday. This is both a blessing as we got to spend the holiday together as a family, but a precaution because it could be very likely that she will be going back soon. I hope that she gets better, but I must prepare myself for possibly another hospital visit. As for now, Christmas is over. As said at church, what has not yet been done has to be left undone. I miss you all, and hope to see you soon. I do need some time with y'all again--preferrably outside of Hinsdale Hospital.
--Brandon
I apologize for the confusion to those of you who do not know the events of my Christmas thus far. Let's pick up where we left off, shall we? I get back after my drive and my mom is downstairs as she's been unable to sleep as of late. Last Wednesday she had gone to the emergency room and they sent her home with a diagnosis of bronchitis. By Saturday night, I had gotten used to coming home and seeing her sitting in her rocker and trying to fall asleep. I had to get to work on Sunday morning so I offed myself to bed and slept.
In the morning I was awoken before my alarm by a call from my dad saying that mom had gone back to the emergency room as she wasn't seeming to get better and that if I had time during the day I should stop by and sit with her. I told him that I had to work, but I would talk to my manager and see if she could let me out right when we closed. I showered and got ready for work. On my way to Oakbrook, I think that's when it really hit me the hardest that my mom was in the hospital again and would be all night. There has really only been one other time when my mom had to stay overnight in the hospital, and during that whole time it was stated that she could have died. So I started freaking out. By the time I got to Disney my eyes were completely bloodshot and my one manager commented that I looked like death.
After changing into my uniform my manager, who she herself had just come back after spending a week with HER mother as she had been diagnosed with cancer, came to me privately and said that it would be best if I didn't work then but instead spent time with family. I thanked her profusely and changed back and drove to the hospital.
There I sat. Until about 8ish when we (Adam, Chelsey, my dad, and I) went back home to relax a bit before worship at 11. After church, we went back and my dad read Twas the Night Before Christmas and we each opened a present and went to bed. This was not an easy task. I had much on my mind. Namely the events of the day and the feelings from the previous night. I couldn't really calm down at that point until about 4 when I eventually got to sleep.
This morning, Christmas, we woke up at about 9 to open our stockings and pack up everything to take over to the hospital where we would open presents with mom. After opening some of the weirdest collection of presents I've ever recieved (A Sigmund Freud action figure, a watch with the "Free Gift With Purchase" sticker still attached, Ten Commandment Post-It Notes, etc.) and some awkward glances and uncomfortable feelings-- Christmas started to settle in. In all actuality it didn't feel that different from any other Christmas. The family was there, the spirit was there, I didn't change or shower. Same smelly good times except it wasn't in the comfort of my own home-- which I've found doesn't mean that much to me as it did now that I've been in WI for a good long while. Location and time aren't what I'm looking for.
I don't mean to bitch about Disney as much as I do. I really do just get in to the swing of things and that ends up with a lot of harsh feelings about life in general and Disney seems to get the burden. I really do enjoy Disney and respect and care for everyone I work with. Sometimes they're idiots, but then again so am I. The major thing is that I just remember what I'm thankful for. What I have is enough-- what I lack can be dealt with. What I need I will find a way to get. What I want isn't necessary.
By the by, Christmas dinner was spent with my mom being allowed to come home early because of the holiday. This is both a blessing as we got to spend the holiday together as a family, but a precaution because it could be very likely that she will be going back soon. I hope that she gets better, but I must prepare myself for possibly another hospital visit. As for now, Christmas is over. As said at church, what has not yet been done has to be left undone. I miss you all, and hope to see you soon. I do need some time with y'all again--preferrably outside of Hinsdale Hospital.
--Brandon