vent.
I had a dream last night that actually hurt when I woke up. It hurt because it was a happy dream. And it's not something that I think will ever happen. I was arguing with this person (I think I had babies with me too... weird... she may have too... not sure if we were nannies or mommies) but we were arguing. Because that's all we'd done the last time we'd talked. And then after we let it all out we thought about all the good things that had been. And we decided to be friends again, because it was dumb to waste the friendship we had had.
I honestly don't feel the need to be friends with this person again. I made the effort to try and repair things, apologized several times (and meant it) and didn't get so much as a 'thanks but no thanks' in return. I think it just bothers me that there's unfounded dislike coming at me from this person. And the fact that they haven't seen what they've become.
It pained my heart a tiny bit. Because I think I'll always love her in some way for the friendship we had had. But she made her choices. And subsequently I lost friends because of her (yes, I know she talked shit about me and I lost friends because of it, not all of out mutual friends were so tight lipped).
It made me realize why I'm so happy in Reno. It's not as if I have run away from a problem. I've just left behind the pain. And I'm not going to look back.
Except for when the random dream reminds me.
I honestly don't feel the need to be friends with this person again. I made the effort to try and repair things, apologized several times (and meant it) and didn't get so much as a 'thanks but no thanks' in return. I think it just bothers me that there's unfounded dislike coming at me from this person. And the fact that they haven't seen what they've become.
It pained my heart a tiny bit. Because I think I'll always love her in some way for the friendship we had had. But she made her choices. And subsequently I lost friends because of her (yes, I know she talked shit about me and I lost friends because of it, not all of out mutual friends were so tight lipped).
It made me realize why I'm so happy in Reno. It's not as if I have run away from a problem. I've just left behind the pain. And I'm not going to look back.
Except for when the random dream reminds me.