QM 47 - "...a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it."
47 - "A man who tells lies... merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." - 'Lawrence of Arabia'
I'm not going crazy.
That's what I told myself over and over again that cycle. Even when everything around me was saying different, I was convinced that there was no way that I, Commander John Crichton of IASA, Earthman and rocket scientist had gone on the one-way trip to the cuckoo's nest. I looked in the mirror and I saw Scorpius. I heard his voice talking in my head and when I lost my concentration, he was standing in the room next to me, like the evil S&M version of Jiminy Cricket.
But no, I kept saying, I couldn't be going crazy.
The evidence mounted, of course. I was acting erratically, and everyone on Moya saw it. They asked if I was all right, if I was sick or working myself too hard, or if it was just some kind of strange "Erp" phase I was going through. No, no, no, I said, ol' Johnny boy is just fine. Maybe a little tired, I lied, but A-okay.
Ignore the cold sweats and the red eyes. Don't pay any attention to the fact that he's talking to no one but he's not talking to himself, either.
I kept saying it and saying it, and when things were okay, I actually believed it. When Scorpy-in-my-head was nowhere to be seen or heard, and when I felt like myself, I went with the story.
And then I couldn't kill him. The bastard who'd frelled with my head and been chasing me from one end of the Uncharted Territories to the other, making my life hell and I couldn't kill him. It was right there in that Shadow Depository when I knew I had lost it.
No more lying. John had gone crazy, and not long after, Aeryn paid for it.
But I'm all right now.
(302)
I'm not going crazy.
That's what I told myself over and over again that cycle. Even when everything around me was saying different, I was convinced that there was no way that I, Commander John Crichton of IASA, Earthman and rocket scientist had gone on the one-way trip to the cuckoo's nest. I looked in the mirror and I saw Scorpius. I heard his voice talking in my head and when I lost my concentration, he was standing in the room next to me, like the evil S&M version of Jiminy Cricket.
But no, I kept saying, I couldn't be going crazy.
The evidence mounted, of course. I was acting erratically, and everyone on Moya saw it. They asked if I was all right, if I was sick or working myself too hard, or if it was just some kind of strange "Erp" phase I was going through. No, no, no, I said, ol' Johnny boy is just fine. Maybe a little tired, I lied, but A-okay.
Ignore the cold sweats and the red eyes. Don't pay any attention to the fact that he's talking to no one but he's not talking to himself, either.
I kept saying it and saying it, and when things were okay, I actually believed it. When Scorpy-in-my-head was nowhere to be seen or heard, and when I felt like myself, I went with the story.
And then I couldn't kill him. The bastard who'd frelled with my head and been chasing me from one end of the Uncharted Territories to the other, making my life hell and I couldn't kill him. It was right there in that Shadow Depository when I knew I had lost it.
No more lying. John had gone crazy, and not long after, Aeryn paid for it.
But I'm all right now.
(302)