The world we wanted 44/?
They barely get to know new boss Konstantin Chernenko before he drops dead too. The only thing he ever did to affect Prussia was to force him to boycott America's Olympics. Prussia was willing to hold a grudge for years over that but now he doesn't need to.
“Dammit,” Armenia says. “I should have bet on Chernenko too... He looked almost dead from the moment he got into office. But it felt so unlikely two Soviet bosses would die that quickly in a row! You and Russia were the only one who thought it would happen. I figured you would give Honecker a heart attack first.”
“Russia?!”
“He found out and wanted to join,” Armenia said. “Aren't you glad it turned out like that? I imagined a lot of other reactions he could have.”
***
This time someone made an effort. Mikhail Gorbachev is younger and has visions. Russia even makes sure Prussia is properly introduced to him, maybe to try to fend off the jokes about how long this one is going to last.
“You shouldn't drink this much,” Gorbachev says after Russia fills Prussia's glass with vodka for a third time and takes the bottle away from a stunned Russia.
“You're not my boss,” Prussia mumbles. This is something new for certain.
“Vodka is like fuel to me,” Russia protests.
“We have no ideas how your vices influences the people,” Gorbachev says. “Try to be a positive role model instead.”
The new boss' expected life span suddenly looks much less promising. And Russia just starts to drink in other people's houses. Cuba doesn't mind supplying him with rum as long as he brings his sister with him.
***
That was only the beginning of the strangeness. When Russia calls for meetings it usually ends up disjointed and very threatening, leaving everyone with the feeling they shouldn't poke the crazy. Prussia expects this to be something like that too. Poland could need to hear it, he's balancing very closely to treason lately.
“I have a new boss,” Russia starts. “He's more lively the the other ones.”
“That wouldn't be hard,” Bulgaria thinks. “But I'm glad for all of us.”
Czech, Slovakia and Romania cheer sarcastically.
“My boss had a long, long lecture for me about how we have to be more open about our problems so we can solve them,” Russia says with a pained expression. “He asked me discuss with you what you are displeased with so we can work on that.”
Everyone looks at Russia in stunned silence.
“Ehm,” Armenia hesitantly starts when it becomes clear that no one wants to speak up. “I appreciate how you-our bosses try to make more jobs in my part of Soviet, I guess, but we are getting a bit uncomfortable because it gets really dirty and polluted. That isn't so good for us.”
“We can try to work with that,” Russia says, relieved. “That's a good point.”
“I'm not falling for this,” Czech says. “Wasn't this exactly what China's boss did? Oh, you should criticize us so we can improve, they said, let a thousand schools of thoughts bloom... Then the purge was on as everyone who was critical revealed themselves.”
“No, we're not falling for that again,” Slovakia agrees. “You sit here and talk and pretend like someone cares but we're not playing along.”
The twins get up without another word, get their papers and push their chairs neatly into place and leave. Russia stares at them like he wants to protest but can't find the right words.
Romania started off reading a newspaper and not listening but by now he has put it aside and looks as disturbed as everyone else.
“But you aren't like China, right?” Hungary says. “When you say you want to listen to us, you really mean it.”
“Yes?” Russia tries, still very unhappy but unable to disagree with her.
“I have something to bring up too,” Poland says. “I want to talk about Katyn.”
“I want to talk about what happened to my people,” Latvia says. “Everyone who disappeared. Someone should take responsibility for that.”
“All these things happened long ago,” Russia complains. “I can't change it now. Try to be more constructive.”
“But that's the problem,” Estonia says. “We can't be constructive or having a healthy alliance as long as all these things are unsaid between us.”
“I don't want to talk about this,” Russia says. “My boss' ideas are stupid. Maybe more people will disappear if stupid ideas like this spread...”
And they're back at crazy and threatening. Prussia almost feels relieved.
***
Hungary isn't though, lingering behind with Poland by free will for what might be the first time ever.
“Don't be discouraged by my idiot friend Poland and Estonia and Latvia,” Hungary says. “I think you and your boss have some good ideas going. Don't you think East?”
“I think we had all the changes we could deal with for a while,” Prussia says.
“I don't know,” Russia says. “I don't want to fight with everyone. But everyone keep wanting to fight with me.”
Hungary ribs her elbow hard into Poland's stomach.
“I agree with Hungary,” he says when promoted. “Your boss seems to have good ideas. We should try to go with it. It feels promising.”
“We'll help you work with them,” Hungary promises and puts her hand on Russia's arm in a completely unexpected gesture of support. People usually don't touch Russia.
Russia looks like he can't decide if he's happy or terrified over this new show of affection. Prussia knows Hungary's smile isn't directed at Russia. He is worried.
***
Gorbachev praises Russia's efforts, making him a little happier until the next thing Russia violently disapproves of. Forcing him to hang out with America so he can hang out with America's boss.
“I hate your boss!” America says. “And mine. I can't believe they're forcing us to do this.”
“Gorbachev and Reagan are brave, brave men,” Prussia says. But not completely out of their minds, that's why Japan and Prussia are around too. Kind of like living shields.
At least Japan's games are a bit entertaining. This one is called a Nintendo. Prussia is impressed against his will, it's a lot of fun. And a lot less deadly than letting America and Russia talk freely. But they should be making things like that in the German Democratic Republic too...
“My turn,” Russia says and takes the the controller away from Prussia. Japan smiles slightly in pride of his creation.
Another time the two superpowers are much friendlier, they exchange sympathies over how much this sucks in a way too familiar way, making Prussia wish he could follow Russia around all the time. But Honecker complains enough about his lack of focus already, even if Prussia likes it deep down it's still time consuming.
“So you two are bounding over how much you hate how your bosses are bounding? Do you have any ideas how insane that is?”
“Why are you so upset East?” America wonders, still standing too close to Russia.
“You're not allowed to call me nicknames. It's the German Democratic Republic.”
“I'm not going to call you that,” America says. “You're not a democracy.”
“Oh fuck you,” Prussia says, adding a few glorious pieces of profanity Serbia taught him but America isn't going to understand anyway.
“Fuck your god too,” America says to Prussia's shock. “Yeah, I actually speak Serbian. Or was it Croatian? It's pretty much the same thing. And you pronounce it wrong.”
Russia laughs, but he laughs with America and not at him. Prussia hates how the world is turning upside down and no one notices, not realizing how it means everything will come crashing down.
“Dammit,” Armenia says. “I should have bet on Chernenko too... He looked almost dead from the moment he got into office. But it felt so unlikely two Soviet bosses would die that quickly in a row! You and Russia were the only one who thought it would happen. I figured you would give Honecker a heart attack first.”
“Russia?!”
“He found out and wanted to join,” Armenia said. “Aren't you glad it turned out like that? I imagined a lot of other reactions he could have.”
***
This time someone made an effort. Mikhail Gorbachev is younger and has visions. Russia even makes sure Prussia is properly introduced to him, maybe to try to fend off the jokes about how long this one is going to last.
“You shouldn't drink this much,” Gorbachev says after Russia fills Prussia's glass with vodka for a third time and takes the bottle away from a stunned Russia.
“You're not my boss,” Prussia mumbles. This is something new for certain.
“Vodka is like fuel to me,” Russia protests.
“We have no ideas how your vices influences the people,” Gorbachev says. “Try to be a positive role model instead.”
The new boss' expected life span suddenly looks much less promising. And Russia just starts to drink in other people's houses. Cuba doesn't mind supplying him with rum as long as he brings his sister with him.
***
That was only the beginning of the strangeness. When Russia calls for meetings it usually ends up disjointed and very threatening, leaving everyone with the feeling they shouldn't poke the crazy. Prussia expects this to be something like that too. Poland could need to hear it, he's balancing very closely to treason lately.
“I have a new boss,” Russia starts. “He's more lively the the other ones.”
“That wouldn't be hard,” Bulgaria thinks. “But I'm glad for all of us.”
Czech, Slovakia and Romania cheer sarcastically.
“My boss had a long, long lecture for me about how we have to be more open about our problems so we can solve them,” Russia says with a pained expression. “He asked me discuss with you what you are displeased with so we can work on that.”
Everyone looks at Russia in stunned silence.
“Ehm,” Armenia hesitantly starts when it becomes clear that no one wants to speak up. “I appreciate how you-our bosses try to make more jobs in my part of Soviet, I guess, but we are getting a bit uncomfortable because it gets really dirty and polluted. That isn't so good for us.”
“We can try to work with that,” Russia says, relieved. “That's a good point.”
“I'm not falling for this,” Czech says. “Wasn't this exactly what China's boss did? Oh, you should criticize us so we can improve, they said, let a thousand schools of thoughts bloom... Then the purge was on as everyone who was critical revealed themselves.”
“No, we're not falling for that again,” Slovakia agrees. “You sit here and talk and pretend like someone cares but we're not playing along.”
The twins get up without another word, get their papers and push their chairs neatly into place and leave. Russia stares at them like he wants to protest but can't find the right words.
Romania started off reading a newspaper and not listening but by now he has put it aside and looks as disturbed as everyone else.
“But you aren't like China, right?” Hungary says. “When you say you want to listen to us, you really mean it.”
“Yes?” Russia tries, still very unhappy but unable to disagree with her.
“I have something to bring up too,” Poland says. “I want to talk about Katyn.”
“I want to talk about what happened to my people,” Latvia says. “Everyone who disappeared. Someone should take responsibility for that.”
“All these things happened long ago,” Russia complains. “I can't change it now. Try to be more constructive.”
“But that's the problem,” Estonia says. “We can't be constructive or having a healthy alliance as long as all these things are unsaid between us.”
“I don't want to talk about this,” Russia says. “My boss' ideas are stupid. Maybe more people will disappear if stupid ideas like this spread...”
And they're back at crazy and threatening. Prussia almost feels relieved.
***
Hungary isn't though, lingering behind with Poland by free will for what might be the first time ever.
“Don't be discouraged by my idiot friend Poland and Estonia and Latvia,” Hungary says. “I think you and your boss have some good ideas going. Don't you think East?”
“I think we had all the changes we could deal with for a while,” Prussia says.
“I don't know,” Russia says. “I don't want to fight with everyone. But everyone keep wanting to fight with me.”
Hungary ribs her elbow hard into Poland's stomach.
“I agree with Hungary,” he says when promoted. “Your boss seems to have good ideas. We should try to go with it. It feels promising.”
“We'll help you work with them,” Hungary promises and puts her hand on Russia's arm in a completely unexpected gesture of support. People usually don't touch Russia.
Russia looks like he can't decide if he's happy or terrified over this new show of affection. Prussia knows Hungary's smile isn't directed at Russia. He is worried.
***
Gorbachev praises Russia's efforts, making him a little happier until the next thing Russia violently disapproves of. Forcing him to hang out with America so he can hang out with America's boss.
“I hate your boss!” America says. “And mine. I can't believe they're forcing us to do this.”
“Gorbachev and Reagan are brave, brave men,” Prussia says. But not completely out of their minds, that's why Japan and Prussia are around too. Kind of like living shields.
At least Japan's games are a bit entertaining. This one is called a Nintendo. Prussia is impressed against his will, it's a lot of fun. And a lot less deadly than letting America and Russia talk freely. But they should be making things like that in the German Democratic Republic too...
“My turn,” Russia says and takes the the controller away from Prussia. Japan smiles slightly in pride of his creation.
Another time the two superpowers are much friendlier, they exchange sympathies over how much this sucks in a way too familiar way, making Prussia wish he could follow Russia around all the time. But Honecker complains enough about his lack of focus already, even if Prussia likes it deep down it's still time consuming.
“So you two are bounding over how much you hate how your bosses are bounding? Do you have any ideas how insane that is?”
“Why are you so upset East?” America wonders, still standing too close to Russia.
“You're not allowed to call me nicknames. It's the German Democratic Republic.”
“I'm not going to call you that,” America says. “You're not a democracy.”
“Oh fuck you,” Prussia says, adding a few glorious pieces of profanity Serbia taught him but America isn't going to understand anyway.
“Fuck your god too,” America says to Prussia's shock. “Yeah, I actually speak Serbian. Or was it Croatian? It's pretty much the same thing. And you pronounce it wrong.”
Russia laughs, but he laughs with America and not at him. Prussia hates how the world is turning upside down and no one notices, not realizing how it means everything will come crashing down.