" - i never did believe in miracles - but i've a feeling it's time to try "
ITEM! bizarrely on friday morning carol kirkwood was doing the bbc breakfast weather with a tai chi bloke throwing "shapes" behind her - it reminded me very much of lou reed doing "the raven" at the barbican with HIS tai chi bloke, anthony of anthony & the johnsons*, fernando saunders, mike rathke, arthur nagan, jerry morgan, chondu the mystic, ruby thursday & so on
* singing gandy says
ITEM! i invested a total of £10 on saturday's grand national - three horses each way ( £2 on simon at 10/1, £2 on hedgehunter at 16/1 & £1 on iron man at 150/1 ) - & still i didn't win anything - please explain mr william hill, HOW is this possible...?
hedgehunter did the best coming 13th out of 15 finishers ( 40 ran ) - simon fell at the 22nd ( - the same fence he fell at last year ) & "the invincible" iron man fell at the second fence did last year - o well, i'll never learn...
ITEM! from 9.00am sunday morning we had our annual stressful & panic stricken flap, attempting to buy tickets for glastonbury - i don't go to glasto myself cos of an aversion to tents, gamping, mud, growds, false bonhomie etc - but as usual it was all hands to the pumps, phones, gomputers etc in our house trying to get a gouple of tickets for my better half & her cousin - & for the third year in a row it was me who came up trumps & got the tickets - in a record time of just over an hour - by 10:06am "we" were sorted - & for once the gonfirmation email from seetickets came quickly too ( - which cut down on the usual worry abt whether i'd filled in all the details gorrectly )
apparently all our headless chicken activity yesterday was unnecessary - as there are still tickets available for the bluddy thing as i'm typing now - D'OH...! ( - so i feel slightly less smug now abt my "success" in getting the tickets )
anyway, this year MY "festival" experience is likely to be limited to mozza, beck, siouxsie, new york dolls & dirty pretty things at hyde park on 4th july - unless there's another great free do at finsbury park like last year - londoners gonsidering voting for boris johnson ( even as "a joke" ) plse note: i doubt we'll get st etienne, jamelia & kelis for free under a tory mayoral regime
ITEM! on sunday afternoon i was back watching eastenders for the first time since dirty den came back from the dead - impressed to see that the vicar gonducting frank butcher's funeral = vila from blake's seven - twas a gouple of hours full of nostalgia & high emotion - there were even some glips from the ole days of mike reid as frank - & a gouple of goob shouting matches between pat & peggy
janine-ee-oh looks far too skinny these days tho - & she was wearing some weird black mourning globber: a small trilby placed at a jaunty angle & a blouse with a great big bow in the middle ( - it's probly the height of fashion for all i know ) - sophie "love's unkind" lawrence's diane has come out as a lesbian & ricky was his usual block of wood self
but the star turn of course was the triumphant return of patsy palmer as bianca - with her young brood in tow ( "the jackson five" ) - she was totally gonvincing* as the pramfaced young fishwife shouting the odds ( "oi, hitler...!" at a bloke in a caff ) - she had a busy time, incl. a failed attempt at prostitution & stealing from her gustomer, before sticking one on a gopper & getting arrested
* except for patsy palmer's perfect & expensive looking pearly white teeth which seemed "wrong" for bianca
i did enjoy it but i don't think i can gommit 2 hours of my telly watching week to eastenders on a regular basis - tho i might stick with it for a little while yet to see how ricky & bianca get back together ( - she hasn't even got back to albert square yet )
ITEM! most of you can thank yr lucky stars i don't have your mobile phone no - i sometimes like to do a bit of texting & can be a bit of a nuisance with it - for example, last thursday week after emerging into the cold nite air from the hoegaarden womb of the jolly gardeners pub, my day's drinking caught up with me & i sent the following text to a few select individuals as i staggered back up putney high street: "o my giddy arseholers, i am as drunk as the thirteen ape apostles of the jumbo jesus"
( - hic...! )
but after my first appointment with the QMH roehampton dietician tomorrow afternoon, i'll no doubt be operating under a new healthy & sober regime ( - well, anything's possible...! )
ITEM! i look in the mirror - & what do i see? - a great big ADIPOSE - staring back at me