my one concession to convention
As much as I enjoy bucking convention in almost every conceivable way, my one concession to convention seems to be my appearance, and particularly the way I dress. I've been struggling for a while now to find a way to dress that feels comfortable and seems appropriate for the environments I find myself in, and I keep coming back to the same sort of thing: sort of the androgynous outdoorsy LL Bean/Eddie Bauer look, mostly derived from clothes marketed for men with a few women's jeans thrown into the mix for the better fit.
This is definitely a very comfortable look for me, but sometimes I am conscious that it may not be entirely appropriate in my workplace, where most of the women dress fairly casually but in women's clothes, like knit separates or trendy cotton or wool slacks with a silk blouse. Sometimes I see another woman wearing something I like, but I have no idea where to get such clothes, or when I do find a shop that sells something similar, they never carry sizes large enough for me. Or, conversely, if I wander into a shop that caters to larger women, then I can't find sizes small enough for me. I seem to have the bad luck of being somewhere between size 14 and 16, which American clothing manufacturers have apparently decided applies to so few women that it isn't worth making anything for them (and yet they never seem to notice that all of those "smalls" just don't sell).
So I suppose it's no wonder that I gravitate over to men's clothing for the most part, as I fit in the middle range there, although men's jeans are not particularly flattering on my figure. Thankfully I know of one jean company that makes jeans my size that also fit my shape.
I've gone through phases where I really wanted to express my disdain for convention and tradition through my appearance, and I've enjoyed those phases, but ultimately I found myself unable to sustain them for a variety of reasons. And I keep gravitating back towards this almost preppy, conventional look that seems to suggest all the wrong things about me. I don't want to "fit in" in any other way when it comes to doing what society expects of me, but when it comes to clothes and overall appearance I guess I am doomed to look like one of the pod people, even if that's not how I feel on the inside!
I'm also a little conscious of the fact that I tend to lean towards such an androgynous almost boyish look, and yet I want to be perceived as female (not andro). I just can't work out how to get more femininity in there given that most of what's for sale that caters to women is so downright tacky and poorly made. The "fall fashions" on sale right now for women I find to be positively ugly, both in terms of colors and styles. It's almost as though the fashion industry can't decide what decade we're in, as I see a rather horrific blend of the worst from the 70s with the worst from the 80s in some of the styles. Maybe this is yet another sign of the extreme social dysfunction our country finds itself in right now?
I suppose that's all the more reason I would want to mark myself as being "different" from the norm, but I think I'm going to have to rely on my words to create that effect, and not my clothes. However, I suppose there's always something a tiny bit subversive about a woman who wears mostly men's clothes, and who cares so little about appearing fashionable that she'll even go out to dinner wearing sweats.
This is definitely a very comfortable look for me, but sometimes I am conscious that it may not be entirely appropriate in my workplace, where most of the women dress fairly casually but in women's clothes, like knit separates or trendy cotton or wool slacks with a silk blouse. Sometimes I see another woman wearing something I like, but I have no idea where to get such clothes, or when I do find a shop that sells something similar, they never carry sizes large enough for me. Or, conversely, if I wander into a shop that caters to larger women, then I can't find sizes small enough for me. I seem to have the bad luck of being somewhere between size 14 and 16, which American clothing manufacturers have apparently decided applies to so few women that it isn't worth making anything for them (and yet they never seem to notice that all of those "smalls" just don't sell).
So I suppose it's no wonder that I gravitate over to men's clothing for the most part, as I fit in the middle range there, although men's jeans are not particularly flattering on my figure. Thankfully I know of one jean company that makes jeans my size that also fit my shape.
I've gone through phases where I really wanted to express my disdain for convention and tradition through my appearance, and I've enjoyed those phases, but ultimately I found myself unable to sustain them for a variety of reasons. And I keep gravitating back towards this almost preppy, conventional look that seems to suggest all the wrong things about me. I don't want to "fit in" in any other way when it comes to doing what society expects of me, but when it comes to clothes and overall appearance I guess I am doomed to look like one of the pod people, even if that's not how I feel on the inside!
I'm also a little conscious of the fact that I tend to lean towards such an androgynous almost boyish look, and yet I want to be perceived as female (not andro). I just can't work out how to get more femininity in there given that most of what's for sale that caters to women is so downright tacky and poorly made. The "fall fashions" on sale right now for women I find to be positively ugly, both in terms of colors and styles. It's almost as though the fashion industry can't decide what decade we're in, as I see a rather horrific blend of the worst from the 70s with the worst from the 80s in some of the styles. Maybe this is yet another sign of the extreme social dysfunction our country finds itself in right now?
I suppose that's all the more reason I would want to mark myself as being "different" from the norm, but I think I'm going to have to rely on my words to create that effect, and not my clothes. However, I suppose there's always something a tiny bit subversive about a woman who wears mostly men's clothes, and who cares so little about appearing fashionable that she'll even go out to dinner wearing sweats.