Yes! I so completely agree with everything you have said here. Even currently being in a poly relationship, where I am very glad that my wife has a boyfriend who gives her many things that I cannot, I still struggle with her expectations of me as her primary partner. I realize that we have kids together, so there will naturally be a need for unity between us that would not be necessary otherwise. But I still feel stifled at times that she wants me to be almost everything to her almost all the time. If she could just stand on her own and accept what I have to offer without making me feel pressured to measure up to her expectations, I don't think we would spend less time together or that I would show her any less love and affection, but there would be less tension and more appreciation from both sides. But at least we are on the path.
I think that the sense of security and self-sufficiency to be able to be happy on your own is the key. If you are self sufficient, the worst that can happen is that you lose some of the extras that you enjoy with a partner, but you basic survival is not threatened. And your survival really is no one else's responsibility anyway. It seems much healthier that your realtionships should reflect that.
I think that the sense of security and self-sufficiency to be able to be happy on your own is the key. If you are self sufficient, the worst that can happen is that you lose some of the extras that you enjoy with a partner, but you basic survival is not threatened. And your survival really is no one else's responsibility anyway. It seems much healthier that your realtionships should reflect that.
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