Interviewing Maximo Park and Electrocuting them is fun.
Cesca and I interviewed Maximo Park yesterday.
We were meant to meet them in the Mean Fiddler at 8. We got there at 8 and there was noone to let us in. So instead of calling their manager we decided to wander around Virgin Megastore and see if Maxi Priest was next to Maximo Park in the album racks. It took us about 15 minutes to realise that Maximo Park do not have an album out yet, but that didnt spoil our fun.
We decided it was probably best we tried harder to find Maximo Park. You would have thought it would be quite easy to find something as big as a park, but obviously not. We found a random dark alley, complete with the foul stench of tramp urine (tramp urine is more pungent than normal urine, as they eat rats and each other and tar). We noticed the fire exit of the Mean Fiddler was open so we dared each other to walk down the usty stairs to where we heard voices. This was very much like the scene in Poltergeist where you knew you shouldnt walk towards the light as thats where something bad would happen...but it ended up being a random scottish bloke who made us wait on the stairwell where he 'found somewhere hygenic'. The point of finding somewhere 'hygenic' was completely lost on me, but perhaps one day I will find personal resolution in this matter.
We were led outside into an adjacent dark alley where MaxEEEEEEEEmo park's tour bus was parked. I say tour bus, but I mean minibus. The tour manager checked to see if they were all decent and then told us that we could board. Because the van was parked so close to the wall, the door could only open a crack. There was a 2 inch gap we had to squeeze past to get into the door. Apparently this is a Geordie test of Will. If you pass it you get to enter their inner sanctum.
So we delve past a velvet curtain (may not have been velvet) and a hand is thrust into mine from a 'park'. There is some backstory to this involving a member of Maximo Park and one of the intervewing duo. Here is a clue. It isnt me. For once.
So our interviewing plan was to not have an interview plan. As I turned my ipod (with mic attachment) on I realised that a gameplan would have probably been quite a good thing now as a room full of Geordies can be quie an intimidating thing. I didnt have to worry though as the boys were nothing short of lovely!
You would have thought that after interviewing them I would remember all their names right? Well I don't, but thats fine, the important thing is the band know OUR names. Thats my view. Anyway, we ask them stereotypical questions regarding geordieness and Epworth, and new singles, new albums, new tours and new castle... when I feel a lull approaching. Sweet Cesca does her best to keep me under control but unfortunately I feel that musicians need to earn my respect.
What better way to do this than to electrocute them? So I pull my electrocuting roulette machine from my satchel (I think its a satchel, it may be a canvas bag, Im not sure. Its nice though, many pockets to put receipts from woolworths) and tell them that "THIS IS THE SECTION ENTITLED MAXIMO SPARK". They chuckle nervously and I place the machine on the table, next to the ipod, next to the old-skool gameboy, inbetwixt interviewers and interviewees. This is exactly how they interviewed Saddam when they first caught him. Its the only way you can find out about Weapons of Mass Destruction and/or meanings behind song lyrics.
I put my finger in one hole, so does Dunc, so does the drummer and so does Lukas. Cesca presses the start buttom and the little light whirrs around buzzing fast and then slows down until the led light stops at one finger. MY FUCKING FINGER. I receive a bolt of electricity through my fingertip and into my vocal chords which produces a scream alot like the word FUCK. Oh I forgot to say that this interview is being recorded for our radio show and I have turned the air blue on every show. My bad. Maximo park laugh at my pain so I say "and again lads". They are reluctant but take the chance for more amusement at my expense. As the light buzzed around Lukas panics "WHY IS THERE A WARNING STICKER ON THERE? WHY IS THERE A HAZARD SIGN?" "Ignore it Lukas, dont look at it!" I say as the led stops at Dunc. Its a delayed reaction but he jolts back and shakes his hand at the wrist. "I need that hand for later!" he says. I chuckle to myself that it was the guitarist that got electrocuted. Maybe he should have applied some pressure.... hmmm..
Anyway, it was a pretty cool interview and they are pretty cool lads indeed.
This is the start of my crusade to hurt every single person I interview. Artists need to feel pain in order to produce great art. All the great artists suffered either through mental illness or physical deformity. I wish to bring this era of Creativity back to the world.
You can listen/read this interview on RARE FM next week. Ill keep you posted.
Oh, and you may want to keep an eye out for my Bright Eyes interview next month. I am going to kick him in the face and make him urinate on a toaster.
Jed
xxx
We were meant to meet them in the Mean Fiddler at 8. We got there at 8 and there was noone to let us in. So instead of calling their manager we decided to wander around Virgin Megastore and see if Maxi Priest was next to Maximo Park in the album racks. It took us about 15 minutes to realise that Maximo Park do not have an album out yet, but that didnt spoil our fun.
We decided it was probably best we tried harder to find Maximo Park. You would have thought it would be quite easy to find something as big as a park, but obviously not. We found a random dark alley, complete with the foul stench of tramp urine (tramp urine is more pungent than normal urine, as they eat rats and each other and tar). We noticed the fire exit of the Mean Fiddler was open so we dared each other to walk down the usty stairs to where we heard voices. This was very much like the scene in Poltergeist where you knew you shouldnt walk towards the light as thats where something bad would happen...but it ended up being a random scottish bloke who made us wait on the stairwell where he 'found somewhere hygenic'. The point of finding somewhere 'hygenic' was completely lost on me, but perhaps one day I will find personal resolution in this matter.
We were led outside into an adjacent dark alley where MaxEEEEEEEEmo park's tour bus was parked. I say tour bus, but I mean minibus. The tour manager checked to see if they were all decent and then told us that we could board. Because the van was parked so close to the wall, the door could only open a crack. There was a 2 inch gap we had to squeeze past to get into the door. Apparently this is a Geordie test of Will. If you pass it you get to enter their inner sanctum.
So we delve past a velvet curtain (may not have been velvet) and a hand is thrust into mine from a 'park'. There is some backstory to this involving a member of Maximo Park and one of the intervewing duo. Here is a clue. It isnt me. For once.
So our interviewing plan was to not have an interview plan. As I turned my ipod (with mic attachment) on I realised that a gameplan would have probably been quite a good thing now as a room full of Geordies can be quie an intimidating thing. I didnt have to worry though as the boys were nothing short of lovely!
You would have thought that after interviewing them I would remember all their names right? Well I don't, but thats fine, the important thing is the band know OUR names. Thats my view. Anyway, we ask them stereotypical questions regarding geordieness and Epworth, and new singles, new albums, new tours and new castle... when I feel a lull approaching. Sweet Cesca does her best to keep me under control but unfortunately I feel that musicians need to earn my respect.
What better way to do this than to electrocute them? So I pull my electrocuting roulette machine from my satchel (I think its a satchel, it may be a canvas bag, Im not sure. Its nice though, many pockets to put receipts from woolworths) and tell them that "THIS IS THE SECTION ENTITLED MAXIMO SPARK". They chuckle nervously and I place the machine on the table, next to the ipod, next to the old-skool gameboy, inbetwixt interviewers and interviewees. This is exactly how they interviewed Saddam when they first caught him. Its the only way you can find out about Weapons of Mass Destruction and/or meanings behind song lyrics.
I put my finger in one hole, so does Dunc, so does the drummer and so does Lukas. Cesca presses the start buttom and the little light whirrs around buzzing fast and then slows down until the led light stops at one finger. MY FUCKING FINGER. I receive a bolt of electricity through my fingertip and into my vocal chords which produces a scream alot like the word FUCK. Oh I forgot to say that this interview is being recorded for our radio show and I have turned the air blue on every show. My bad. Maximo park laugh at my pain so I say "and again lads". They are reluctant but take the chance for more amusement at my expense. As the light buzzed around Lukas panics "WHY IS THERE A WARNING STICKER ON THERE? WHY IS THERE A HAZARD SIGN?" "Ignore it Lukas, dont look at it!" I say as the led stops at Dunc. Its a delayed reaction but he jolts back and shakes his hand at the wrist. "I need that hand for later!" he says. I chuckle to myself that it was the guitarist that got electrocuted. Maybe he should have applied some pressure.... hmmm..
Anyway, it was a pretty cool interview and they are pretty cool lads indeed.
This is the start of my crusade to hurt every single person I interview. Artists need to feel pain in order to produce great art. All the great artists suffered either through mental illness or physical deformity. I wish to bring this era of Creativity back to the world.
You can listen/read this interview on RARE FM next week. Ill keep you posted.
Oh, and you may want to keep an eye out for my Bright Eyes interview next month. I am going to kick him in the face and make him urinate on a toaster.
Jed
xxx