(no subject)
Why do I put up with this? Why me. I don't understand any of this. Just for once, can't I find somebody who treats me right? Loves me, and doesn't treat me like a fucking piece of shit. Hounestly I don't even think I love him anymore. The way he treats me, steals from me, destroys my things. I don't even want to move to Seattle with him anymore. I don't want to move our destructive life across the country, I'll be even more trapped.
I'm a good person. I work my ass off I try so hard, I stopped drinking a lot and everything. I try so fucking hard to have a good life. Lenny's the only thing bringing me down. I have to get away. Away from him. I want to break his heart like he's breaking mine. Every day.
I'm so sick of being ignored, being lied to, being stolen from, taken advantage of, being trapped. That's what I am. I'm fucking trapped.
I'm going to disapear. I don't want to be a part of my own life anymore. Maybe if I change my name and move away the bad luck and misery won't follow. I hate myself for putting up with this. I hate myself even more because I know I won't leave. I know I'll stay and take him back and forgive him, and I know he'll do it all over again.
I'm a good person. I work my ass off I try so hard, I stopped drinking a lot and everything. I try so fucking hard to have a good life. Lenny's the only thing bringing me down. I have to get away. Away from him. I want to break his heart like he's breaking mine. Every day.
I'm so sick of being ignored, being lied to, being stolen from, taken advantage of, being trapped. That's what I am. I'm fucking trapped.
I'm going to disapear. I don't want to be a part of my own life anymore. Maybe if I change my name and move away the bad luck and misery won't follow. I hate myself for putting up with this. I hate myself even more because I know I won't leave. I know I'll stay and take him back and forgive him, and I know he'll do it all over again.