(no subject)
Dirty Motel locked away in the ugliest places. Working just to live in these places. Spending all my money on food, and bad tasting cigarettes.
This is what my life will continue to consist of for the next week and a half.
I can't make the final transition from Connecticut to New York until I've finished my two weeks at work. Even if it means sleeping in these dingy over priced rooms, I'm getting my god damned reference. I pretty much destroyed my reference as a manager at Autozone. If that bitch of a boss didn't have so much fucking pride and just a little bit of compassion for her employee's, just maybe I would have quit how I did. Oh well.
Desperate times call for desperate messures.
I've been seeing Lenny still. As a friend. I believe in him, I believe he can better his life so maybe one day we can be together again. Maybe. It's such a slight chance I don't even feel like believing. But I keep saying if I don't have faith... who will? He's going to NA meetings to get off the drugs. I'm attending one with him today. I'm type nervous.
Hopefully he'll find a job. Soon. Very soon. And get his lisences. It's a lot to accomplish in the amount of time I'm setting for him, but I know he's capible. (sp?) Even if nobody else believes in him I will. Because I've spent a year and a half of my life with him, and I still love him all the same....
Even if we're "just friends..." God I hate those words.
This is what my life will continue to consist of for the next week and a half.
I can't make the final transition from Connecticut to New York until I've finished my two weeks at work. Even if it means sleeping in these dingy over priced rooms, I'm getting my god damned reference. I pretty much destroyed my reference as a manager at Autozone. If that bitch of a boss didn't have so much fucking pride and just a little bit of compassion for her employee's, just maybe I would have quit how I did. Oh well.
Desperate times call for desperate messures.
I've been seeing Lenny still. As a friend. I believe in him, I believe he can better his life so maybe one day we can be together again. Maybe. It's such a slight chance I don't even feel like believing. But I keep saying if I don't have faith... who will? He's going to NA meetings to get off the drugs. I'm attending one with him today. I'm type nervous.
Hopefully he'll find a job. Soon. Very soon. And get his lisences. It's a lot to accomplish in the amount of time I'm setting for him, but I know he's capible. (sp?) Even if nobody else believes in him I will. Because I've spent a year and a half of my life with him, and I still love him all the same....
Even if we're "just friends..." God I hate those words.