Heartache neither makes you stronger or destroys you.
Title: What will you do if everything written here will be true and you can alter it? No title can hold what the heart can do and feels.
Author: wordsandnotes
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance
Pairing: Sho Sakurai/Kazunari Ninomi
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own no one for owning a human being is against the code of ethics.
Summary: What will you do if everything written here will be true and you can alter it?
When Sho kisses Kazunari for the first time, it will be under a cherry blossom tree behind the Sakurai residence in the middle of autumn. Sho will ask Kazunari if he would like to see Mrs. Sakurai’s beloved garden; Ninomiya will say yes. Sho will lead him through he back door. A gush of cold wind will pass through their frames. Ninomiya will say he feels cold. Sho will give him his coat. Ninomiya will don it and comment about how warm it feels. Sho will murmur, “It doesn’t compare to the warmth you make my heart feel,” under his breath. Ninomiya will say that he didn’t catch what he said. Sho will just smile and lead him towards the cherry blossom tree. By then, at the most shadiest, and most secluded nook of the garden, they will stand idly. They will be both afraid to say anything even if they have longed for that kind of a situation. Ninomiya will clear his throat.
“This is a very nice garden, Sakurai san.”
“Please don’t use the “san”.”
“Sorry.” He will smile and take notice how the blossom fall on top of Sho’s head and shoulders. He will stretch his arms and try to brush them off. But, to his surprise, his hand will be caught by Sakurai’s. Sakurai will pull Ninomiya closer to him. Ninomiya’s frame will lean on the elder’s, then he will feel the other’s arms snake through his frame.
Ninomiya will be in surprise with what his band mate will say. His jaw will fall slowly, his eyes will widen, and his heart will be faster than it had ever beaten.
“I can’t help it anymore, Ninomiya. I love you. I’m really sorry. I know it sounds ridiculous, but please hear me out. I don’t know why, but it pains me to see you with Riida hugging each other more often than we do. It hurts whenever I see you smile when you talk to someone else at the phone. If this is love, then I’m suffering from it. Help me, Kazunari. Just tell me what to do. Should I stop no-“
“No! Don’t stop,” Ninomiya will return the embrace and pull his body a few inches from Sakurai. He will look at him in the eyes and say, “Don’t. I’m sorry if I hurt you without even knowing it. I just thought that you and that Takahashi girl are already going out. That’s why I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I consider Ohno’s feelings I can forget that I… that I…”
“That you?”
“That I love you.”
Sho will put up a confused face then smile. He will smile his widest and most heart melting one and slowly move his face towards the Ninomiya’s. And that’s how their first kiss will happen. Hundreds of kisses will soon follow.
The first time they ever had sex will be quite tricky. Kazunari will be drunk and go straight at Sho’s place and will be talking in English. Ninomiya will try his best to speak the language with his funny grammar. Sakurai will laugh his ass off. His lover will put on a face. Then Sakurai will try to comfort him in English. Ninomiya will act like a child and burst out laughing for no reason. Then, he will cry about bunnies and Easter eggs. Then laugh again, about how he imagines Sho in a bunny costume. The cycle of laughing - crying - laughing - crying will continue for about an hour for reasons that are related to bunnies to fake fat cat at the Internet to the colors of the rainbows and leprechauns. Sho then will be quite tired of the routine and will ask Ninomiya if he likes to go to bed already. The drunk Ninomiya will misinterpret it as to if he would like to sleep with Sakurai. He will tease the elder and give him a lap dance. Sakurai will feel his crotch having some trouble and will say, “I’m talking about sex, Kazu,” out of frustration. Nino with his drunkenness at its highest will reply, “If you want to have sex with me then just do it, man whore. Oops.” He will laugh and roll on the floor, literally. Sho will soon experience a minor headache and let his man whore-ness take over. He will pin down Kazunari. Kazunari’s eyes will widen and the first thing that will cross his mind is wrestling. He will wiggle under his lover but will fail miserably and will accept defeat.
“Fine. You wins these fights.” He shouted, rather proud of the sentence.
Sho will just smile and will slip his hand under Kazunari’s loose shirt. The next things will be rated-PG. I’m sorry. But, in the morning after, Sho will tell Kazunari how wonderful it was and how different it was with him. Kazunari, with his back portion sore, will make a hand gesture at Sho. Once Sho’s forehead is against his and their noses brushing each other’s with eyes locked, Kazunari will kiss Sho. And that will the first of many memorable and funny times they do it.
The day they will tell their band mates about this, it will be at the studio. They will hold hands and speak calmly, hoping that they will be understood. It went less breezy than they expected. When Sho tells everyone that they are official going out and are couple. Aiba will jump up from his seat and shout, “Hell yes! I knew it! I knew you two had something for each other!”
“No, you don’t, Masaki.” Jun will say, rather pissed off with Aiba’s attitude of not handling things seriously. “Well, congratulations. I just hope this will not affect Arashi.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean, Sakurai kun.”
And indeed he knows it very well. He knows that if their relationship will not last or will end up into a tragedy, Arashi will be in chaos. He knows it too well that for the next few months of their relationship that they are tested, he cannot help but think about it and be too pre-occupied.
“Well, congratulations, you two.” Ohno will say as he tries his best to paint a smile on his face. He will feels very hurt at this point, but he will still say it. “I’m really happy that you two found your happiness together.”
“Group hug!” Masaki will shout after that.
Arashi will accept their relationship and continue as one.
After seven months since that day in October, Kazunari Ninomiya will start feeling what he had always feared of. He will feel that he is being taken for granted. Whenever he will call Sakurai, the other will only say that he’s busy and he’ll call him later, but he won’t. He will go to Sho’s place and will find him asleep. When he tries to cuddle Sho, Sho will shrug Kazunari off his back and turn away from him. He will very hurt, offended, and will even call Sho a jerk when he gets drunk with Masaki. After that, he will head to his flat and will take a long shower, thinking about everything that happened for the last seven months. He will reminisce every time they kissed and hugged and made love. It will hurt him a lot.
To make matters worst, Sho will stop seeing him anymore. He will give out his most bruised excuse, I’m busy. Kazunari will wait for the phone to ring, hoping that it’s Sho apologizing about what happened. He will forgive him immediately, if he does apologize. However, he never will. Sho will not call him for the next three weeks, two days and six hours.
It will be on the evening of July 15 that Sho Sakurai will call. Kazunari will be playing Call of Duty at his room. He will hear the phone ringing faintly against the background music and guns firing off. Nevertheless, Kazunari will pause it and will make a run for the phone. He will be hoping it will be Sakurai who will answer his Hello.
“Kazunari?”
“S-Sho?”
“Yeah. I’m really sorry about not being able to call. Family affair.”
“Oh, sure. It’s fine.”
“Look, I have to tell you something important.”
“Yeah?”
“Hmmm… Please promise me you won’t freak out or do anything irrational.”
“Why would I do that?”
It will take Sho a few seconds before he says, “Because I told my parents about us,
Kazunari’s lungs will run out of air and his eyes will turn dull. His whole body will be covered with cold sweat. He will not be able to move a muscle. His heart will skip a beat.
“And they said they want to have a grandchild,”
Tears will run down Kazunari’s face. He will feel the hot trail of his sadness in liquid form flow down and his eyes warm up. He will feel pain. Pain that will last forever.
“ I’m sorry, Kazu. I’m quitting Arashi first thing in the morni-“
There will be a female voice from Sho’s end of the line that will cut him.
“Who’s that, dear?”
“No one. It’s alright. It’s just a friend.”
“Oh, yeah? Who?”
“Ninomiya san. Not important. Go inside now, Midori,
And that is what will break Kazunari’s heart the most.
Ninomiya san. Not important.
“Nino? Are you still there? Look, I don’t expect you to understand, but please do. I really did not mean it. It was my entire parents’ decision. I’m sorry. I lo-“
“Don’t. Don’t lie to me anymore. If you really love- loved me then you should have fought for what he have or what we use to have.”
Kazunari will hang up the phone and will throw at his T.V. For the first time in his life, he will cry himself to sleep.
This is a story of a man who loved and lost it.
--
a.n.//
Okay, so yeah. Very crappy story. I did this within an hour. No Beta. (Sorry, Grammar Freaks. :D - Kiddin’)
I just have to comment that I enjoyed writing this.
Comment and criticize at your expense!
I can’t believe I wrote a 1.6k fanfic. :O
Author: wordsandnotes
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance
Pairing: Sho Sakurai/Kazunari Ninomi
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own no one for owning a human being is against the code of ethics.
Summary: What will you do if everything written here will be true and you can alter it?
When Sho kisses Kazunari for the first time, it will be under a cherry blossom tree behind the Sakurai residence in the middle of autumn. Sho will ask Kazunari if he would like to see Mrs. Sakurai’s beloved garden; Ninomiya will say yes. Sho will lead him through he back door. A gush of cold wind will pass through their frames. Ninomiya will say he feels cold. Sho will give him his coat. Ninomiya will don it and comment about how warm it feels. Sho will murmur, “It doesn’t compare to the warmth you make my heart feel,” under his breath. Ninomiya will say that he didn’t catch what he said. Sho will just smile and lead him towards the cherry blossom tree. By then, at the most shadiest, and most secluded nook of the garden, they will stand idly. They will be both afraid to say anything even if they have longed for that kind of a situation. Ninomiya will clear his throat.
“This is a very nice garden, Sakurai san.”
“Please don’t use the “san”.”
“Sorry.” He will smile and take notice how the blossom fall on top of Sho’s head and shoulders. He will stretch his arms and try to brush them off. But, to his surprise, his hand will be caught by Sakurai’s. Sakurai will pull Ninomiya closer to him. Ninomiya’s frame will lean on the elder’s, then he will feel the other’s arms snake through his frame.
Ninomiya will be in surprise with what his band mate will say. His jaw will fall slowly, his eyes will widen, and his heart will be faster than it had ever beaten.
“I can’t help it anymore, Ninomiya. I love you. I’m really sorry. I know it sounds ridiculous, but please hear me out. I don’t know why, but it pains me to see you with Riida hugging each other more often than we do. It hurts whenever I see you smile when you talk to someone else at the phone. If this is love, then I’m suffering from it. Help me, Kazunari. Just tell me what to do. Should I stop no-“
“No! Don’t stop,” Ninomiya will return the embrace and pull his body a few inches from Sakurai. He will look at him in the eyes and say, “Don’t. I’m sorry if I hurt you without even knowing it. I just thought that you and that Takahashi girl are already going out. That’s why I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I consider Ohno’s feelings I can forget that I… that I…”
“That you?”
“That I love you.”
Sho will put up a confused face then smile. He will smile his widest and most heart melting one and slowly move his face towards the Ninomiya’s. And that’s how their first kiss will happen. Hundreds of kisses will soon follow.
The first time they ever had sex will be quite tricky. Kazunari will be drunk and go straight at Sho’s place and will be talking in English. Ninomiya will try his best to speak the language with his funny grammar. Sakurai will laugh his ass off. His lover will put on a face. Then Sakurai will try to comfort him in English. Ninomiya will act like a child and burst out laughing for no reason. Then, he will cry about bunnies and Easter eggs. Then laugh again, about how he imagines Sho in a bunny costume. The cycle of laughing - crying - laughing - crying will continue for about an hour for reasons that are related to bunnies to fake fat cat at the Internet to the colors of the rainbows and leprechauns. Sho then will be quite tired of the routine and will ask Ninomiya if he likes to go to bed already. The drunk Ninomiya will misinterpret it as to if he would like to sleep with Sakurai. He will tease the elder and give him a lap dance. Sakurai will feel his crotch having some trouble and will say, “I’m talking about sex, Kazu,” out of frustration. Nino with his drunkenness at its highest will reply, “If you want to have sex with me then just do it, man whore. Oops.” He will laugh and roll on the floor, literally. Sho will soon experience a minor headache and let his man whore-ness take over. He will pin down Kazunari. Kazunari’s eyes will widen and the first thing that will cross his mind is wrestling. He will wiggle under his lover but will fail miserably and will accept defeat.
“Fine. You wins these fights.” He shouted, rather proud of the sentence.
Sho will just smile and will slip his hand under Kazunari’s loose shirt. The next things will be rated-PG. I’m sorry. But, in the morning after, Sho will tell Kazunari how wonderful it was and how different it was with him. Kazunari, with his back portion sore, will make a hand gesture at Sho. Once Sho’s forehead is against his and their noses brushing each other’s with eyes locked, Kazunari will kiss Sho. And that will the first of many memorable and funny times they do it.
The day they will tell their band mates about this, it will be at the studio. They will hold hands and speak calmly, hoping that they will be understood. It went less breezy than they expected. When Sho tells everyone that they are official going out and are couple. Aiba will jump up from his seat and shout, “Hell yes! I knew it! I knew you two had something for each other!”
“No, you don’t, Masaki.” Jun will say, rather pissed off with Aiba’s attitude of not handling things seriously. “Well, congratulations. I just hope this will not affect Arashi.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean, Sakurai kun.”
And indeed he knows it very well. He knows that if their relationship will not last or will end up into a tragedy, Arashi will be in chaos. He knows it too well that for the next few months of their relationship that they are tested, he cannot help but think about it and be too pre-occupied.
“Well, congratulations, you two.” Ohno will say as he tries his best to paint a smile on his face. He will feels very hurt at this point, but he will still say it. “I’m really happy that you two found your happiness together.”
“Group hug!” Masaki will shout after that.
Arashi will accept their relationship and continue as one.
After seven months since that day in October, Kazunari Ninomiya will start feeling what he had always feared of. He will feel that he is being taken for granted. Whenever he will call Sakurai, the other will only say that he’s busy and he’ll call him later, but he won’t. He will go to Sho’s place and will find him asleep. When he tries to cuddle Sho, Sho will shrug Kazunari off his back and turn away from him. He will very hurt, offended, and will even call Sho a jerk when he gets drunk with Masaki. After that, he will head to his flat and will take a long shower, thinking about everything that happened for the last seven months. He will reminisce every time they kissed and hugged and made love. It will hurt him a lot.
To make matters worst, Sho will stop seeing him anymore. He will give out his most bruised excuse, I’m busy. Kazunari will wait for the phone to ring, hoping that it’s Sho apologizing about what happened. He will forgive him immediately, if he does apologize. However, he never will. Sho will not call him for the next three weeks, two days and six hours.
It will be on the evening of July 15 that Sho Sakurai will call. Kazunari will be playing Call of Duty at his room. He will hear the phone ringing faintly against the background music and guns firing off. Nevertheless, Kazunari will pause it and will make a run for the phone. He will be hoping it will be Sakurai who will answer his Hello.
“Kazunari?”
“S-Sho?”
“Yeah. I’m really sorry about not being able to call. Family affair.”
“Oh, sure. It’s fine.”
“Look, I have to tell you something important.”
“Yeah?”
“Hmmm… Please promise me you won’t freak out or do anything irrational.”
“Why would I do that?”
It will take Sho a few seconds before he says, “Because I told my parents about us,
Kazunari’s lungs will run out of air and his eyes will turn dull. His whole body will be covered with cold sweat. He will not be able to move a muscle. His heart will skip a beat.
“And they said they want to have a grandchild,”
Tears will run down Kazunari’s face. He will feel the hot trail of his sadness in liquid form flow down and his eyes warm up. He will feel pain. Pain that will last forever.
“ I’m sorry, Kazu. I’m quitting Arashi first thing in the morni-“
There will be a female voice from Sho’s end of the line that will cut him.
“Who’s that, dear?”
“No one. It’s alright. It’s just a friend.”
“Oh, yeah? Who?”
“Ninomiya san. Not important. Go inside now, Midori,
And that is what will break Kazunari’s heart the most.
Ninomiya san. Not important.
“Nino? Are you still there? Look, I don’t expect you to understand, but please do. I really did not mean it. It was my entire parents’ decision. I’m sorry. I lo-“
“Don’t. Don’t lie to me anymore. If you really love- loved me then you should have fought for what he have or what we use to have.”
Kazunari will hang up the phone and will throw at his T.V. For the first time in his life, he will cry himself to sleep.
This is a story of a man who loved and lost it.
--
a.n.//
Okay, so yeah. Very crappy story. I did this within an hour. No Beta. (Sorry, Grammar Freaks. :D - Kiddin’)
I just have to comment that I enjoyed writing this.
Comment and criticize at your expense!
I can’t believe I wrote a 1.6k fanfic. :O