Today and nothing more, Kara/Laura, NC17
Title: Today and nothing more
Pairing: Kara/Laura
Rating: NC17 There's plot though, I swear. If you squint.
Word Count: 3444
Warnings: Slightest hint of abuse, not mentioned outright
Authors Notes: I blame Nora. I don't even know how I fell into this pairing. What is happening to me?! But Gods they are the sweetest things ever, are they not? This is a hasty post with very little proofing. I hope to come back and clean it up eventually.
Kara couldn't figure it out. This thing with Laura. It had been three months now and she still wasn't sure what it was supposed to be, what it actually was, what it might turn into.
Her head was so busy just dealing with the influx of fantasies, the memories of their past trysts and her plans for future seductions that there just wasn't any time for a more detailed analysis. She couldn't think of the older woman for more than a few moments without her mind whirling in sense memories with the feel of warm skin in the mornings, the scent of her hair still wet from a shower, the raspy timber of her voice in the throes of passion. By then she was lost to reason anyway, so she'd mostly given up any attempts at forming a logical description of their relationship.
She wasn't frakking anyone else, because for the first time in her life, there wasn't anyone else she wanted to be frakking. Her desire for Laura's body, for Laura's taste, for her stern smiles had overwhelmed all other lusts. She didn't think Laura was frakking anyone else either, although she hadn't actually had the courage to ask her. But sometimes she stayed late at the office. More than sometimes actually. Every now and again Kara was weak enough to let poisonous thoughts sneak into her mind on those nights. Like tonight.
She had no cause to be upset. She was the one who had just shown up at the other woman's house unexpectedly. She did it often these days. Her need outweighing her pride. But today Laura wasn't home. It had happened before. Usually she'd just give it up as a lost cause for the evening and leave. Or head out and try again later on, maybe after a few beers at the closest pub. But she needed Laura tonight, it had been days since she'd touched her. And Laura didn't like when Kara showed up blitzed and Kara doubted she had the fortitude to be in a bar and not get blitzed tonight. She was too raw.
She barely thought before dialing her.
“Laura Roslin.” Came the clipped business tone.
She hesitated.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
“Hey.” Kara said, feeling like an idiot. “I...umm...I'm at your place. I thought...”
She could hear movement and then a muted male voice through the connection. Laura's laugh. She cringed. Reminded herself that they'd made no promises. Told herself she didn't care even as her insides twisted and her stomach dropped out.
“Never mind. You sound busy. I'll just catch you later.” She hung up quickly, was already berating herself and hurrying back to her truck when her mobile started beeping angrily at her.
She knew. “Yeah?”
“What the hell was that?” Came Laura's brusque reply. She'd obviously changed locations. The line was quiet now, save for Laura's voice.
“I...” She didn't have a good answer.
“I don't know.” She admitted.
“Well, I would like to see you tonight. I've missed you.” Laura said simply. “I'll be home in an hour. Will you wait for me there?”
Kara chewed her lip uncertainly, debating.
“Kara?”
“Yeah. Sorry.” She forced a hollow laugh. It sounded worse than the silence. “Of course I'll wait. Have you eaten?”
“No. Not yet.” Kara thought she could hear relief in her voice. “Go ahead in and make me one of your trademark masterpieces. No dessert though. You're already to blame for that five extra pounds circling my thighs. I can't take much more chocolate cake without busting my seams.”
“Yes, ma'am.” Kara agreed while silently planning a peach cobbler. “It's not like you didn't need some fattening up though. Besides, it looks good on you.”
Laura didn't bother disagreeing with her. She knew she hadn't been taking the best care of herself the last few months. She'd been so busy at work. So busy not thinking about the accident. So busy just keeping busy that her diet had suffered. Not that Kara knew any of that. Not yet.
“You remember where the key is, right?”
“Yeah. I'll see you soon.” And then after a moment's hesitation Kara added, “I've missed you too.” And hung up before the woman could respond.
**
She was still finishing up the salad when Laura sauntered in, looking worn and exhausted and somehow still sexy as hell. She tugged off her heels at the door, let them thud to the floor and then unbuttoned her blazer and let it follow them onto the ground with a sigh of relief. Kara was transfixed by the sight of her. Wanted to go to her and scoop her into her arms and never let her go. But she gripped the knife harder and kept slicing tomato instead.
“Hi.” Laura whispered leaning lazily back against the door, smiling serene and soft. “Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?”
Kara blushed and turned away to shred carrots. “Am I?”
“Frak yes.” Laura nodded, coming around the island to peek over Kara's shoulders. Without her heels on they were almost the same height. Leaning around her, she grabbed a tomato wedge and took a delicate bite before feeding the rest to Kara. She let her fingers linger at Kara's lips until Kara nipped at them teasingly.
“Rough day?” Kara asked around the juicy flesh. Laura's arms encircled her waist from behind. Kara sighed and leaned into the welcome contact. She wondered at something so little, so insignificant, meaning so much.
“Mmm. Better now.” Laura hummed against her neck before dropping a lazy little kiss onto her pulse point. Kara's heart started a familiar beat, picking up speed as Laura's wandering hands and mouth kept up their slow explorations against her neck and belly. “Where've you been this week? Huh, Kara? You never even called, sweetheart.”
Kara didn't answer, just craned her neck to the side, to give her better access. Laura took the newly offered space to full advantage, licking a wet stripe across the expanse before sucking deeply at it. Kara's heart was beating impossibly fast now. She set down her knife carefully and spun, pulling Laura's mouth roughly to her own. Kara didn't bother with finesse. She knew what she wanted. Her tongue against Laura's. Her skin slick with her sweat and saliva and cum. And Laura knew it too. So what was the point of pretense? Besides, keeping her intentions hidden had never been her strong suit as she always tried to play to her strengths. She was already tugging at the buttons of Laura's blouse and pulling at the clasp of her pencil skirt when Laura jerked away.
“Let's eat first.” She said in an unsteady voice that was convincing no one.
“We can eat after.” Kara argued, reaching for her again. But Laura fended her off. Giving away only quick kisses and teasing brushes of her hands down Kara's arms.
“But you worked so hard on it. And I'm hungry.” She explained lacing her fingers through Kara's to keep them still.
“So am I.” Kara told her with a feral grin. “Starving.”
Laura laughed. “Dinner first.” She chided pushing her away and checking the the stove. “What'd you make this time? It's smells heavenly in here. Oh Gods! Is this cobbler? Frak, Kara I thought I said no dessert!”
Kara groaned at the sight of her bent over before her. She wanted nothing more than to push that skin tight skirt up around her waist, kneel down behind her and...“For the Gods sake, Laura! Go sit down at the table and I'll bring everything out to you. I'm never gonna make it to dinner with you in here like that.”
“Fine.” She relented with a knowing smile, spinning on her heel and arranging her mussed hair and clothes. “But only because you cooked. Don't get used to me taking orders like your trainees, Lt. Thrace.”
“Just button up, tease.” Kara begged her. She was still panting with want and throbbing with need and her patience was stretched about as thin as it was likely to stretch tonight. “And get the hell out of here before I lose all reason and take you right here on the cutting board.”
Laura's laugh echoed from the dining room as she strode away.
**
Kara had made lasagna, Laura's favorite. With Italian bread and fresh green beans and, of course, wine. Kara could barely eat she was so keyed up. With the week she'd had and thoughts of Laura with someone else and the feel of Laura's mouth still lingering on her lips. She was just shy of breaking into a million pieces at any moment.
“This is exquisite, Kara.” Laura purred, taking another heaping bite and then licking her lips to catch a dab of stray sauce. “Who taught you to cook?”
Kara was lost in the sight of her mouth, barely taking in her words. Laura rolled her eyes when Kara didn't respond. Waving a hand in front of her face, she laughed. “Kara, dear. Come back to me.”
She shook herself from her reverie. Sheepishly, she shrugged. “No one. I taught myself.”
She saw the question in Laura's eyes at that, but she didn't ask it. Kara breathed easier. She'd taught herself most things. It wasn't a point of pride though. There just was never any other option. If she wanted to eat, she learned to cook for herself. If she wanted to eat things that tasted good, she learned to cook better. And so on.
“So, where have you been lately?” Laura went on, taking a sip of her wine. “I thought you'd be over Monday. I made baked chicken for you.”
“Sorry.” Kara dropped her eyes to her plate. She pushed her food around for something to do. “I uh...I was visiting my momma.”
There was a prolonged silence.
“And how is she?” Laura asked politely, though her voice spoke of obvious concern. She knew some, Kara knew. Not enough. But Kara, thought she had an idea. She had to notice how Kara shut down whenever the woman was mentioned. Almost everyone that had been in her life for any real amount of time caught on to the fact that Socrata was a topic that was firmly off limits. So Kara surprised even herself when she told Laura the truth.
“Dying.” Kara said flatly. “She's got cancer. It's terminal. Couple months, maybe.”
“Kara...” Laura said with such tender concern that Kara had to shut her eyes to push away the image of it. “Baby, c'mere.”
When Kara made no move to go to her, Laura reached out to her hand and pulled gently until she rose and slipped self consciously onto her lap. Laura enveloped her. “I am so sorry. Are you OK?”
Kara shrugged. “We aren't close.”
“I know.” Laura nodded, cupping her face in her hands. “But she's your mother.”
Fearing her voice couldn't hold back her tears, Kara just lay her head onto Laura's shoulder and tried to think of other things. But all the other things were just as awful today. She knew she was trembling but she couldn't stop it.
“Come on.” Laura said, guiding her up and down the hall. “Let's get you somewhere more comfortable.”
Kara stopped to grab the wine. Laura shot her a half hearted reproachful look, that dissolved quickly into earnest affection when Kara gave a rueful shrug before taking a deep pull on the bottle. Laura reached out for her hand and led her off. When they reached her bedroom, Laura tugged Kara's worn t-shirt over her head and slipped off her ripped up jeans. Kara always slept naked or in her underwear and Laura had learned not to even bother offering pajamas to her. Laura slipped into a silk nightie, Kara favorite, and pulled Kara down onto the bed, facing her.
“You wanna watch Caprican Choppers?” she asked her softly.
Kara's hand came up to trace Laura's lips reverently.
She couldn't help it. She had to know. “Are you frakking someone else?”
“Excuse me?!” Laura sat up suddenly, eyes wide as saucers. “How can you even think that?!”
Kara gulped. “It's OK if you are. We never said...I was just wondering.”
Laura stared at her for longer than Kara felt comfortable with, eyes searching and intense. She felt like the woman was stripping her bare and looking into all her secret places. Laura had a talent for ripping her open and putting all her darkest parts on display. It worried her how easy she made it seem. It worried her that she let her.
“Never mind.” Kara said hastily, reaching to pull Laura back down. “I don't have to know. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry.”
Laura pulled her hand away gently, placed it over Kara's heart.
“It matters. And no, I'm not frakking anyone else, Kara. Is that what you thought on the phone tonight?”
When Kara didn't answer, Laura sighed heavily. “I was at work. Mayor Adar is planning a run for the presidency. That's why I've been working late so often recently. For the campaign. But you can't tell anyone. It's not been announced. It's why I hadn't told you. It's still highly confidential.”
Kara nodded fervently and sagged with relief. “I won't say anything. I'm sorry.”
“I'm sorry you thought that.” Laura said, leaning down to press her lips to Kara's. “You're the only one I want. I thought you knew that.”
“Why?” Kara croaked before she could stop herself. She didn't know how anyone as together as Laura could be with her. “I'm such a mess.” She felt a tear slip free at the confession. She hated herself for it.
“You're not.” Laura told her in her best no nonsense tone. She climbed over her, straddling her waist, wiping the wetness from Kara's cheek and leaning down to catch her mouth again. “I don't care what anyone's told you.”
“You're amazing,” she promised solemnly.
“You're gorgeous.” Kara gasped as Laura's hands found her breasts, pushing her bra up and away.
“You're talented.” Her mouth lowered to drop a light kiss to first one nipple. Then the other. Kara let out a needy whine and she could feel Laura's smile around her skin.
“You're sweet.” Laura crooned, sliding her briefs down Kara's toned legs.
“You're frakking sexy as all hell.” Her fingers found her, spread her and slipped inside. She started an easy rhythm, frakking her as slowly as she could stand.
“Is this OK?” Laura asked as their lips met again, wet and languid. “We don't have to.”
“I want to.” Kara assured her, tensing and releasing on cue with Laura's probing fingers. “Please.”
“I've got you.” Laura breathed before shoving her tongue deep inside Kara's pleasure slack mouth. “Missed you so much this week, baby.”
“Mmm.” Kara agreed, head falling back, her legs splayed wide, hips jutting up, begging for more. “Yeah. Please, Laura... harder.”
Usually, Laura would make her wait. Make her beg her for it. Drag it out. Not tonight, though. Tonight, she just wanted to make her to feel good, safe, loved. She slid down her body, pressing kisses against every inch of soft skin she could reach. Kara's hands found Laura's as her mouth reached her hot flesh. She held tight to them as tongue and lips and teeth worked her into a frenzy. She could hear herself making needy noises she'd be terribly embarrassed of any other time. But tonight, she didn't care how she sounded, how desperate she was. She needed this. A hand found Laura's head and ran its fingers through her hair. A long lick made her buck and tug roughly on the red locks tangled through her hand. She could feel Laura's moan vibrate into her. And suddenly Laura's mouth was around her clit and sucking deep and strong and Kara was gone. Twisting and pulling Laura against her and crying out shamelessly. Laura worked her down for long slow minutes just the way she knew Kara liked it, before sliding up and collapsing beside her.
Kara reached for her, pulled her to her side. “Gods, Laura. That was-”
But Laura cut her off before she even get the words out. “Next time you have to go away, you can tell me, Kara. I want to know these things.”
“You do?” She asked surprised, turning to look at her, still sucking air.
“Yes.” Laura told her fervently, rolling onto her side, brushing a sweaty lock of hair from Kara's face. “I want to know everything you'll tell me.”
Kara could see that her doubts had hurt Laura. She rushed to reassure her, to push that pained look from her eyes. “Ok. Next time. I promise. I'm sorry.”
“This isn't just another frak to me, Kara.” Laura insisted, her face bright and open. “I care about you. Very much.”
She had the immediate urge to ask why again, but fear of hurting Laura more stilled her tongue. Instead, Kara smiled. Slowly. As she absorbed Laura's words. Smiled until it felt like even her insides were smiling. Until her face hurt from it.
“Me too.” She whispered earnestly. Laura leaned to press her forehead to Kara's. Kara tugged Laura's bottom lip between for own. Her taste on Laura's lips ignited her desire again, but Laura was already reaching past her to shut off the lamp.
“Tomorrow.” She promised, seeing the flare of surprise in Kara's eyes. Kara had never let Laura go to bed without taking care of her before. Usually more than once. Undoing Laura's control was Kara's favorite task. And Laura loved to indulge her. Something was still bothering her.
“Are you sure?” Kara asked worriedly, sliding her hand down. “You know how much I want to, right?”
“I know you do. But I'm too exhausted for anything else tonight.” Laura assured her, stilling the wandering hand on her thigh. “This frakking campaign's gonna be the death of me.”
Kara relented even though she wasn't convinced that Laura wasn't just going easy on her because of the news about her mother. She decided to show Laura in the morning just how fine with it she was, multiple times if necessary. Reaching down to the foot of the bed, she grabbed her briefs and slid them back on. Then opted to go without her bra. Mostly to tease Laura for her little martyr act. Laura had a particular fondness for Kara's breasts and Kara noticed her eyes were hungrily following them with every move she made. Good, she thought, stretching teasingly, at least I know she still wants me. Stubborn brat.
“OK I can almost believe you'd turn down sex for sleep, but what about the cobbler?” Kara joked in a husky voice, fingering the hem of the barely there silk and lace of Laura's nightie. “No dessert and no dessert? Should I be worried?”
“We'll have it for breakfast.” Laura yawned, pulling Kara to her. She went willingly, loved being tangled up in Laura's tender grasp, never sleeping as soundly as when the older woman held her through the night.
“In bed?” Kara asked hopefully, burrowing deeper into Laura's warmth.
Laura snorted, wrapping Kara tighter to her and pulling the duvet over them. Kara tried to remember a time she'd felt more protected, cherished, warm. Laura's arm stroking lazily up and down her bare back. Kara's leg was wedged snugly between Laura's. She wanted to stay here. For as long as the Gods would let them.
“Deal.” Laura murmured, kissing the top of Kara's head. “But it's gotta be early. I have that doctor's appointment you've been bugging me about in the morning.”
Kara clung harder, breathed Laura in.
Maybe tonight will never end, maybe this will just go on and on forever, Kara thought peacefully for a moment before recognizing her folly. The hubris of expecting permanace in an uncertain world. For as long as the Gods will let us have this then, Kara amended as they drifted off.
Her last conscious thought as waking mind turned to dream was a tiny hopeful prayer sent pleadingly into the universe.
For as long we can. She begged the Gods, Til we can't.
Pairing: Kara/Laura
Rating: NC17 There's plot though, I swear. If you squint.
Word Count: 3444
Warnings: Slightest hint of abuse, not mentioned outright
Authors Notes: I blame Nora. I don't even know how I fell into this pairing. What is happening to me?! But Gods they are the sweetest things ever, are they not? This is a hasty post with very little proofing. I hope to come back and clean it up eventually.
Kara couldn't figure it out. This thing with Laura. It had been three months now and she still wasn't sure what it was supposed to be, what it actually was, what it might turn into.
Her head was so busy just dealing with the influx of fantasies, the memories of their past trysts and her plans for future seductions that there just wasn't any time for a more detailed analysis. She couldn't think of the older woman for more than a few moments without her mind whirling in sense memories with the feel of warm skin in the mornings, the scent of her hair still wet from a shower, the raspy timber of her voice in the throes of passion. By then she was lost to reason anyway, so she'd mostly given up any attempts at forming a logical description of their relationship.
She wasn't frakking anyone else, because for the first time in her life, there wasn't anyone else she wanted to be frakking. Her desire for Laura's body, for Laura's taste, for her stern smiles had overwhelmed all other lusts. She didn't think Laura was frakking anyone else either, although she hadn't actually had the courage to ask her. But sometimes she stayed late at the office. More than sometimes actually. Every now and again Kara was weak enough to let poisonous thoughts sneak into her mind on those nights. Like tonight.
She had no cause to be upset. She was the one who had just shown up at the other woman's house unexpectedly. She did it often these days. Her need outweighing her pride. But today Laura wasn't home. It had happened before. Usually she'd just give it up as a lost cause for the evening and leave. Or head out and try again later on, maybe after a few beers at the closest pub. But she needed Laura tonight, it had been days since she'd touched her. And Laura didn't like when Kara showed up blitzed and Kara doubted she had the fortitude to be in a bar and not get blitzed tonight. She was too raw.
She barely thought before dialing her.
“Laura Roslin.” Came the clipped business tone.
She hesitated.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
“Hey.” Kara said, feeling like an idiot. “I...umm...I'm at your place. I thought...”
She could hear movement and then a muted male voice through the connection. Laura's laugh. She cringed. Reminded herself that they'd made no promises. Told herself she didn't care even as her insides twisted and her stomach dropped out.
“Never mind. You sound busy. I'll just catch you later.” She hung up quickly, was already berating herself and hurrying back to her truck when her mobile started beeping angrily at her.
She knew. “Yeah?”
“What the hell was that?” Came Laura's brusque reply. She'd obviously changed locations. The line was quiet now, save for Laura's voice.
“I...” She didn't have a good answer.
“I don't know.” She admitted.
“Well, I would like to see you tonight. I've missed you.” Laura said simply. “I'll be home in an hour. Will you wait for me there?”
Kara chewed her lip uncertainly, debating.
“Kara?”
“Yeah. Sorry.” She forced a hollow laugh. It sounded worse than the silence. “Of course I'll wait. Have you eaten?”
“No. Not yet.” Kara thought she could hear relief in her voice. “Go ahead in and make me one of your trademark masterpieces. No dessert though. You're already to blame for that five extra pounds circling my thighs. I can't take much more chocolate cake without busting my seams.”
“Yes, ma'am.” Kara agreed while silently planning a peach cobbler. “It's not like you didn't need some fattening up though. Besides, it looks good on you.”
Laura didn't bother disagreeing with her. She knew she hadn't been taking the best care of herself the last few months. She'd been so busy at work. So busy not thinking about the accident. So busy just keeping busy that her diet had suffered. Not that Kara knew any of that. Not yet.
“You remember where the key is, right?”
“Yeah. I'll see you soon.” And then after a moment's hesitation Kara added, “I've missed you too.” And hung up before the woman could respond.
**
She was still finishing up the salad when Laura sauntered in, looking worn and exhausted and somehow still sexy as hell. She tugged off her heels at the door, let them thud to the floor and then unbuttoned her blazer and let it follow them onto the ground with a sigh of relief. Kara was transfixed by the sight of her. Wanted to go to her and scoop her into her arms and never let her go. But she gripped the knife harder and kept slicing tomato instead.
“Hi.” Laura whispered leaning lazily back against the door, smiling serene and soft. “Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?”
Kara blushed and turned away to shred carrots. “Am I?”
“Frak yes.” Laura nodded, coming around the island to peek over Kara's shoulders. Without her heels on they were almost the same height. Leaning around her, she grabbed a tomato wedge and took a delicate bite before feeding the rest to Kara. She let her fingers linger at Kara's lips until Kara nipped at them teasingly.
“Rough day?” Kara asked around the juicy flesh. Laura's arms encircled her waist from behind. Kara sighed and leaned into the welcome contact. She wondered at something so little, so insignificant, meaning so much.
“Mmm. Better now.” Laura hummed against her neck before dropping a lazy little kiss onto her pulse point. Kara's heart started a familiar beat, picking up speed as Laura's wandering hands and mouth kept up their slow explorations against her neck and belly. “Where've you been this week? Huh, Kara? You never even called, sweetheart.”
Kara didn't answer, just craned her neck to the side, to give her better access. Laura took the newly offered space to full advantage, licking a wet stripe across the expanse before sucking deeply at it. Kara's heart was beating impossibly fast now. She set down her knife carefully and spun, pulling Laura's mouth roughly to her own. Kara didn't bother with finesse. She knew what she wanted. Her tongue against Laura's. Her skin slick with her sweat and saliva and cum. And Laura knew it too. So what was the point of pretense? Besides, keeping her intentions hidden had never been her strong suit as she always tried to play to her strengths. She was already tugging at the buttons of Laura's blouse and pulling at the clasp of her pencil skirt when Laura jerked away.
“Let's eat first.” She said in an unsteady voice that was convincing no one.
“We can eat after.” Kara argued, reaching for her again. But Laura fended her off. Giving away only quick kisses and teasing brushes of her hands down Kara's arms.
“But you worked so hard on it. And I'm hungry.” She explained lacing her fingers through Kara's to keep them still.
“So am I.” Kara told her with a feral grin. “Starving.”
Laura laughed. “Dinner first.” She chided pushing her away and checking the the stove. “What'd you make this time? It's smells heavenly in here. Oh Gods! Is this cobbler? Frak, Kara I thought I said no dessert!”
Kara groaned at the sight of her bent over before her. She wanted nothing more than to push that skin tight skirt up around her waist, kneel down behind her and...“For the Gods sake, Laura! Go sit down at the table and I'll bring everything out to you. I'm never gonna make it to dinner with you in here like that.”
“Fine.” She relented with a knowing smile, spinning on her heel and arranging her mussed hair and clothes. “But only because you cooked. Don't get used to me taking orders like your trainees, Lt. Thrace.”
“Just button up, tease.” Kara begged her. She was still panting with want and throbbing with need and her patience was stretched about as thin as it was likely to stretch tonight. “And get the hell out of here before I lose all reason and take you right here on the cutting board.”
Laura's laugh echoed from the dining room as she strode away.
**
Kara had made lasagna, Laura's favorite. With Italian bread and fresh green beans and, of course, wine. Kara could barely eat she was so keyed up. With the week she'd had and thoughts of Laura with someone else and the feel of Laura's mouth still lingering on her lips. She was just shy of breaking into a million pieces at any moment.
“This is exquisite, Kara.” Laura purred, taking another heaping bite and then licking her lips to catch a dab of stray sauce. “Who taught you to cook?”
Kara was lost in the sight of her mouth, barely taking in her words. Laura rolled her eyes when Kara didn't respond. Waving a hand in front of her face, she laughed. “Kara, dear. Come back to me.”
She shook herself from her reverie. Sheepishly, she shrugged. “No one. I taught myself.”
She saw the question in Laura's eyes at that, but she didn't ask it. Kara breathed easier. She'd taught herself most things. It wasn't a point of pride though. There just was never any other option. If she wanted to eat, she learned to cook for herself. If she wanted to eat things that tasted good, she learned to cook better. And so on.
“So, where have you been lately?” Laura went on, taking a sip of her wine. “I thought you'd be over Monday. I made baked chicken for you.”
“Sorry.” Kara dropped her eyes to her plate. She pushed her food around for something to do. “I uh...I was visiting my momma.”
There was a prolonged silence.
“And how is she?” Laura asked politely, though her voice spoke of obvious concern. She knew some, Kara knew. Not enough. But Kara, thought she had an idea. She had to notice how Kara shut down whenever the woman was mentioned. Almost everyone that had been in her life for any real amount of time caught on to the fact that Socrata was a topic that was firmly off limits. So Kara surprised even herself when she told Laura the truth.
“Dying.” Kara said flatly. “She's got cancer. It's terminal. Couple months, maybe.”
“Kara...” Laura said with such tender concern that Kara had to shut her eyes to push away the image of it. “Baby, c'mere.”
When Kara made no move to go to her, Laura reached out to her hand and pulled gently until she rose and slipped self consciously onto her lap. Laura enveloped her. “I am so sorry. Are you OK?”
Kara shrugged. “We aren't close.”
“I know.” Laura nodded, cupping her face in her hands. “But she's your mother.”
Fearing her voice couldn't hold back her tears, Kara just lay her head onto Laura's shoulder and tried to think of other things. But all the other things were just as awful today. She knew she was trembling but she couldn't stop it.
“Come on.” Laura said, guiding her up and down the hall. “Let's get you somewhere more comfortable.”
Kara stopped to grab the wine. Laura shot her a half hearted reproachful look, that dissolved quickly into earnest affection when Kara gave a rueful shrug before taking a deep pull on the bottle. Laura reached out for her hand and led her off. When they reached her bedroom, Laura tugged Kara's worn t-shirt over her head and slipped off her ripped up jeans. Kara always slept naked or in her underwear and Laura had learned not to even bother offering pajamas to her. Laura slipped into a silk nightie, Kara favorite, and pulled Kara down onto the bed, facing her.
“You wanna watch Caprican Choppers?” she asked her softly.
Kara's hand came up to trace Laura's lips reverently.
She couldn't help it. She had to know. “Are you frakking someone else?”
“Excuse me?!” Laura sat up suddenly, eyes wide as saucers. “How can you even think that?!”
Kara gulped. “It's OK if you are. We never said...I was just wondering.”
Laura stared at her for longer than Kara felt comfortable with, eyes searching and intense. She felt like the woman was stripping her bare and looking into all her secret places. Laura had a talent for ripping her open and putting all her darkest parts on display. It worried her how easy she made it seem. It worried her that she let her.
“Never mind.” Kara said hastily, reaching to pull Laura back down. “I don't have to know. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry.”
Laura pulled her hand away gently, placed it over Kara's heart.
“It matters. And no, I'm not frakking anyone else, Kara. Is that what you thought on the phone tonight?”
When Kara didn't answer, Laura sighed heavily. “I was at work. Mayor Adar is planning a run for the presidency. That's why I've been working late so often recently. For the campaign. But you can't tell anyone. It's not been announced. It's why I hadn't told you. It's still highly confidential.”
Kara nodded fervently and sagged with relief. “I won't say anything. I'm sorry.”
“I'm sorry you thought that.” Laura said, leaning down to press her lips to Kara's. “You're the only one I want. I thought you knew that.”
“Why?” Kara croaked before she could stop herself. She didn't know how anyone as together as Laura could be with her. “I'm such a mess.” She felt a tear slip free at the confession. She hated herself for it.
“You're not.” Laura told her in her best no nonsense tone. She climbed over her, straddling her waist, wiping the wetness from Kara's cheek and leaning down to catch her mouth again. “I don't care what anyone's told you.”
“You're amazing,” she promised solemnly.
“You're gorgeous.” Kara gasped as Laura's hands found her breasts, pushing her bra up and away.
“You're talented.” Her mouth lowered to drop a light kiss to first one nipple. Then the other. Kara let out a needy whine and she could feel Laura's smile around her skin.
“You're sweet.” Laura crooned, sliding her briefs down Kara's toned legs.
“You're frakking sexy as all hell.” Her fingers found her, spread her and slipped inside. She started an easy rhythm, frakking her as slowly as she could stand.
“Is this OK?” Laura asked as their lips met again, wet and languid. “We don't have to.”
“I want to.” Kara assured her, tensing and releasing on cue with Laura's probing fingers. “Please.”
“I've got you.” Laura breathed before shoving her tongue deep inside Kara's pleasure slack mouth. “Missed you so much this week, baby.”
“Mmm.” Kara agreed, head falling back, her legs splayed wide, hips jutting up, begging for more. “Yeah. Please, Laura... harder.”
Usually, Laura would make her wait. Make her beg her for it. Drag it out. Not tonight, though. Tonight, she just wanted to make her to feel good, safe, loved. She slid down her body, pressing kisses against every inch of soft skin she could reach. Kara's hands found Laura's as her mouth reached her hot flesh. She held tight to them as tongue and lips and teeth worked her into a frenzy. She could hear herself making needy noises she'd be terribly embarrassed of any other time. But tonight, she didn't care how she sounded, how desperate she was. She needed this. A hand found Laura's head and ran its fingers through her hair. A long lick made her buck and tug roughly on the red locks tangled through her hand. She could feel Laura's moan vibrate into her. And suddenly Laura's mouth was around her clit and sucking deep and strong and Kara was gone. Twisting and pulling Laura against her and crying out shamelessly. Laura worked her down for long slow minutes just the way she knew Kara liked it, before sliding up and collapsing beside her.
Kara reached for her, pulled her to her side. “Gods, Laura. That was-”
But Laura cut her off before she even get the words out. “Next time you have to go away, you can tell me, Kara. I want to know these things.”
“You do?” She asked surprised, turning to look at her, still sucking air.
“Yes.” Laura told her fervently, rolling onto her side, brushing a sweaty lock of hair from Kara's face. “I want to know everything you'll tell me.”
Kara could see that her doubts had hurt Laura. She rushed to reassure her, to push that pained look from her eyes. “Ok. Next time. I promise. I'm sorry.”
“This isn't just another frak to me, Kara.” Laura insisted, her face bright and open. “I care about you. Very much.”
She had the immediate urge to ask why again, but fear of hurting Laura more stilled her tongue. Instead, Kara smiled. Slowly. As she absorbed Laura's words. Smiled until it felt like even her insides were smiling. Until her face hurt from it.
“Me too.” She whispered earnestly. Laura leaned to press her forehead to Kara's. Kara tugged Laura's bottom lip between for own. Her taste on Laura's lips ignited her desire again, but Laura was already reaching past her to shut off the lamp.
“Tomorrow.” She promised, seeing the flare of surprise in Kara's eyes. Kara had never let Laura go to bed without taking care of her before. Usually more than once. Undoing Laura's control was Kara's favorite task. And Laura loved to indulge her. Something was still bothering her.
“Are you sure?” Kara asked worriedly, sliding her hand down. “You know how much I want to, right?”
“I know you do. But I'm too exhausted for anything else tonight.” Laura assured her, stilling the wandering hand on her thigh. “This frakking campaign's gonna be the death of me.”
Kara relented even though she wasn't convinced that Laura wasn't just going easy on her because of the news about her mother. She decided to show Laura in the morning just how fine with it she was, multiple times if necessary. Reaching down to the foot of the bed, she grabbed her briefs and slid them back on. Then opted to go without her bra. Mostly to tease Laura for her little martyr act. Laura had a particular fondness for Kara's breasts and Kara noticed her eyes were hungrily following them with every move she made. Good, she thought, stretching teasingly, at least I know she still wants me. Stubborn brat.
“OK I can almost believe you'd turn down sex for sleep, but what about the cobbler?” Kara joked in a husky voice, fingering the hem of the barely there silk and lace of Laura's nightie. “No dessert and no dessert? Should I be worried?”
“We'll have it for breakfast.” Laura yawned, pulling Kara to her. She went willingly, loved being tangled up in Laura's tender grasp, never sleeping as soundly as when the older woman held her through the night.
“In bed?” Kara asked hopefully, burrowing deeper into Laura's warmth.
Laura snorted, wrapping Kara tighter to her and pulling the duvet over them. Kara tried to remember a time she'd felt more protected, cherished, warm. Laura's arm stroking lazily up and down her bare back. Kara's leg was wedged snugly between Laura's. She wanted to stay here. For as long as the Gods would let them.
“Deal.” Laura murmured, kissing the top of Kara's head. “But it's gotta be early. I have that doctor's appointment you've been bugging me about in the morning.”
Kara clung harder, breathed Laura in.
Maybe tonight will never end, maybe this will just go on and on forever, Kara thought peacefully for a moment before recognizing her folly. The hubris of expecting permanace in an uncertain world. For as long as the Gods will let us have this then, Kara amended as they drifted off.
Her last conscious thought as waking mind turned to dream was a tiny hopeful prayer sent pleadingly into the universe.
For as long we can. She begged the Gods, Til we can't.