...:(
GOD im so sick of being sad its not even funny. Mike was a jerk today and we ended up fighting for like two hours and then he finally was nicer and I went to see fireworks with him and Dave in Hiram. Then they decided to go to Rachel Penny's party... he invited me but first of all I have to open and second of all... I know I'd just end up getting pissed off at him. So we basically broke up again today and I had this huge fight with him about how he needs to try harder if he wants to prove to me that he wants me... and then he goes and ignores it to go to Rachel's party even tho I'm like... yeah I dont trust you and we are practically broken up right now so its kinda bad timing to go to a hoe bags party... but you know once again his friends and alcohol prevail over me... god I feel like shit. I just want to go cry myself to sleep... and I prolly will after this horrible day. Fireworks were actually sweet tho... much better than last year. Tomorrow is the 4th and its one of my fav. holidays (which will prolly be ruined anyway by this shity ass life I'm leading at the moment...). I just want things to get better... all I want right now is to be actually happy... genuinely happy and for a consistent amount of time instead of this every other day bullcrap. My sadness run slowed down when Mike and I got back together, but now its just getting worse. UGH someone please give me something to be positive about. I'm sick of writing depressing entries... and I'm pretty sure you are sick of reading them.