(no subject)
Being a friend isn't always easy, and lately it seems like I've been feeling all the pains of friendship. And I don't even have many friends, I guess that can be a good thing.
One particular friend ranks above all others in the drama department, I could write a long essay about our relationship since we first met in October but will try to keep the long story short. From the beginning she made it clear she just wants to be my friend, that's what all women say after they meet me but that's a whole different entry. We became good friends though, would talk on the phone multiple times a day and hang out a few times a week. She met my relatives and would go out for pizza with my parents and brother on Friday night, and come to my small group Bible study on Wednesday nights. We were just friends though.
She does have some issues with depression, and was in a mental hospital for awhile. I know BIG warning sign. The majority of her illness comes from the inability to find true love, she is tired of being alone. (Me too) And she found someone who really cares about her, yet she doesn't want him. That's all I'm going to say about that.
Last month, she told me she thought we should stop hanging out because it was giving me mixed messages and false hope. I hate to say it, but she was right. Every time we spent time together I was happy and sad, because I enjoyed our time together but knew our relationship would never be the romance I most desire. We distanced ourselves rather than totally losing touch, because we still wanted to be friends. And we didn't talk for a couple weeks, plus during that time she was seeing another guy. Someone that she really liked more than a friend.
Well, he didn't last long and disappeared out of her life, so guess who she started calling again and whining to about nobody ever liking her, how she'll always be alone and doesn't understand why nobody ever wants to be with her (except me).
I do get frustrated, but I can't help caring for her and offering my support when she's in need.
Then Saturday night, I got a very nice email from her, complimenting my friendship and how blessed she was to have been able to share a part of her life with me. She had never said such nice things to me, but there was a different tone to the email and I sensed a feeling for writing it. It sounded like she was trying to let me go.
On Sunday, she called and left me a message apologizing for the email and that she was fine.
Now I was confused, why would she apologize for being nice...Uh oh.
We talked later in the day and I discovered that she was planning to commit suicide and sent the email to say goodbye.
Whoa, this is serious. What do I do? She had mentioned suicide before but to take the step in saying goodbye is dangerously close. And as a friend and someone who cares I felt like I couldn't just do nothing but what do I do?
She's an accountant and is working crazy hours as its tax season, if I report her she would lose her job. But what does that matter if she would lose her life?
If I do nothing, and she one day goes through it, I will have to live with the guilt.
It's not always easy being a friend.
One particular friend ranks above all others in the drama department, I could write a long essay about our relationship since we first met in October but will try to keep the long story short. From the beginning she made it clear she just wants to be my friend, that's what all women say after they meet me but that's a whole different entry. We became good friends though, would talk on the phone multiple times a day and hang out a few times a week. She met my relatives and would go out for pizza with my parents and brother on Friday night, and come to my small group Bible study on Wednesday nights. We were just friends though.
She does have some issues with depression, and was in a mental hospital for awhile. I know BIG warning sign. The majority of her illness comes from the inability to find true love, she is tired of being alone. (Me too) And she found someone who really cares about her, yet she doesn't want him. That's all I'm going to say about that.
Last month, she told me she thought we should stop hanging out because it was giving me mixed messages and false hope. I hate to say it, but she was right. Every time we spent time together I was happy and sad, because I enjoyed our time together but knew our relationship would never be the romance I most desire. We distanced ourselves rather than totally losing touch, because we still wanted to be friends. And we didn't talk for a couple weeks, plus during that time she was seeing another guy. Someone that she really liked more than a friend.
Well, he didn't last long and disappeared out of her life, so guess who she started calling again and whining to about nobody ever liking her, how she'll always be alone and doesn't understand why nobody ever wants to be with her (except me).
I do get frustrated, but I can't help caring for her and offering my support when she's in need.
Then Saturday night, I got a very nice email from her, complimenting my friendship and how blessed she was to have been able to share a part of her life with me. She had never said such nice things to me, but there was a different tone to the email and I sensed a feeling for writing it. It sounded like she was trying to let me go.
On Sunday, she called and left me a message apologizing for the email and that she was fine.
Now I was confused, why would she apologize for being nice...Uh oh.
We talked later in the day and I discovered that she was planning to commit suicide and sent the email to say goodbye.
Whoa, this is serious. What do I do? She had mentioned suicide before but to take the step in saying goodbye is dangerously close. And as a friend and someone who cares I felt like I couldn't just do nothing but what do I do?
She's an accountant and is working crazy hours as its tax season, if I report her she would lose her job. But what does that matter if she would lose her life?
If I do nothing, and she one day goes through it, I will have to live with the guilt.
It's not always easy being a friend.