Dirty Little Secret (A Glee Fic)
Title: Dirty Little Secret
Author: Woodsgal
Fandom: Glee
Rating: M
Word Count: 2177
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
Spoilers: Mainly for S1E16 and a slight spoiler for season 2 though god knows if Carole and Burt will actually marry or not.
Warnings: Step-Brother Incest and masturbation.
Summary: Finn and Kurt are in a relationship deeper then they should be as brothers.
Authors Notes: I quite honestly do not even know why I wrote this. I wrote it in one session while constantly moaning at my friends that I was writing something strange and rather wrong. They all just encouraged me though and this is the end result.
Thanks to my friend Michael for betaing.
They both knew it was wrong.
They both knew that they shouldn't be doing this, that they could tear everything their parents had apart. That they could destroy any chance of having a relationship that actually meant anything. They just couldn't stop it, they'd tried but every single time something had happened and they were right back in the same situation again.
Large hands roamed pale skin, fingers stroking and teasing every part of the smaller body that they could reach. The smaller brunet just keened and whined breathlessly, arms slipping around the male above him's neck, fingers scrabbling for purchase in short brown locks as he pulled his lover back up into a desperate kiss. He lifted his hips, pressing and rubbing his need against the male above him, frantically trying to show him what he wanted, what he needed without having to pull away from the kiss, without having to say anything in case the spell was broken.
Downstairs their parents sat watching television, probably talking about their day, completely oblivious to what their sons were doing. Blind to the sexual tension that seemed to haunt their every living moment.
Sometimes naivety is bliss.
As the two boys moved together, desperately trying to reach that high. Not wanting it to end but knowing it had to or risk getting caught.
It was sticky and quick but it was short amount of time they spent together afterward, the moments of post-coital bliss spent wrapped in each others arms that completed them. That made them feel like they really had something, something that couldn't get from long, languorous sessions with their respective boyfriend and girlfriend.
It was purely the fact that it was each other, that they could just lay together for a few moments of peace after something so physical and needy.
The fact that for once no one would judge them.
It never lasted though, eventually Finn would always get up and stumble around the room, tugging his clothes on as quickly as possible. He'd smile once last sweet smile before he would leave the room, leaving Kurt naked, alone and always feeling abandoned.
Every time it happened the guilt and the loneliness overwhelmed him afterward and he always cried himself to sleep.
*****
It wasn't an easy secret to keep, all it took was a subtle nudging of the hips, a gentle touch or a lingering glance and they wanted more.
Kurt couldn't explain it and Finn certainly didn't understand what was going on. He wasn't gay. He was dating Rachel and he had never been interested in any other guys before so he couldn't be right? It had to be that he had been spending too much time with the smaller male.
It had all started a few weeks ago, it had been a hot day so Finn had been wandering the house wearing nothing much. Burt was out at the garage and his mom was god knows where, he hadn't seem Kurt around so he'd assumed he'd gone out. Probably with Mercedes or that boyfriend of his. His lips curled into a scowl at the thought. He didn't know why but for some reason he didn't like the guy. He seemed nice enough but Kurt never seemed to have much time for anyone apart from him these days. Finn didn't like that. It wasn't fair that some guy who had only been around for a couple of months was hogging all of the soprano's attention. Other people might want to see him to. Admittedly Finn had been able to see him more then some of the others, they lived together so they saw each other every day even if it was a only for a minute or two to get their food but it was still something. Plus his mom and Burt had been trying to get them to hang out a little more, going on family trips and separating.
The problem was that the two didn't really have all that much to talk about. Yes they had Glee so they could talk about friends and music but that was about where it ended. They had completely different tastes in music and Finn preferred to talk about sports rather then fashion. That and Finn's knowledge of Kurt's former crush on him made things rather awkward. They tried to work around it, having simple friendly conversations and sometimes they had a great time together but other days, they just didn't know what to do around each other it was the simple fact of how things were.
Finn didn't mind that though, they had more good days then bad and he did like spending time with Kurt. He was an awesome dude, it just wasn't always easy.
At the time he had wished that Kurt had been around so they could hang out, maybe sort things out so everything wouldn't be so awkward but the way he discovered the smaller brunet made him regret that wish because certainly Kurt was around but it certainly wouldn't make things any less awkward.
He had been trudging around upstairs, he'd mainly been laying about his room playing video games or tossing a football in the air and catching it. He'd taken a full litre bottle of soda up with him and in the short space of time that he'd been bored, he'd drunk it all. That meant that he now needed to piss and pretty badly actually. So he'd rushed to the bathroom and had relieved himself. Now, the bathroom was the other side of the hall, in between the study and Kurt's room so he hadn't heard him from all the way over in his room. Apparently Kurt hadn't heard him rushing to the bathroom either.
He could hear quiet whimpers and groans coming from the male cheerio's room. Was he okay? So slightly worried about the other boy he had gone over to the other door and rather then knocking as he really should have done, he quietly opened it. The sight that greeted him was the one that he had least expected.
Kurt lay back on his bed, head thrown into the pillow and hair mussed as he squeezed his eyes shut. His legs pushed his lower body up and one arm reached below, seemingly doing something. He was distracted for the moment by the state that the brunet was in. He looked disheveled and all that covered his body was one of his designer button up shirts, the material was open across his chest and was being creased by his positioning and his actions. Another quiet moan brought Finn back to his senses and he opened the door, stepping in to get a better look. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the male who was now visibly panting as he slipped another finger into himself. Finn had never seen a guy finger himself before, he knew it was possible. He'd read...stuff before but he hadn't thought that he'd ever witness a guy doing it. Or that it would be such a turn on really.
He could feel himself growing hard and he found he didn't care, he just wanted to go over there and join him. A hand slipped down towards his shorts when Kurt's mouth opened and breathlessly he moaned,
“Finn, uhhhh, right there.”
Finn's hand dropped under the restricting material and gripped himself, starting to stroke in time with Kurt's moans and he didn't move until the little show was over. The smaller brunet's eyes fluttered open, mouth dropping slightly as he spotted his step-brother staring at him panting with his eyes half-closed.
That was all it took for Finn to come to his senses though, he looked around the room, at everything other then Kurt before he stumbled out of his room and into the shower so he could get off the soiled clothes and clean himself off.
What had he done?
That wasn't right, Kurt was a boy, his step-brother even. You just didn't jerk-off over your step-brother, even if you knew that said male had had a crush on you before your parents were married. It just wasn't done.
He'd called Rachel up and had gone over hers, cuddling and making out all they could until her dads kicked him out and sent him home.
When Kurt had crept into his room that night, clean now but in nothing but that same shirt from earlier he hadn't said anything when he'd crawled into his bed. Hadn't stopped him when he'd kissed him. Hadn't stopped him when it turned into so much more.
He should feel guilty, dirty, sick but he didn't, he couldn't hate himself.
*****
Things weren't going to go on like that forever, they couldn't.
Everything came to a head one night when Carole and Burt had gone out to dinner, leaving the two teenage boys to fend for themselves for the evening.
As usual it had started off innocently enough but Finn soon had Kurt pinned against the kitchen counter as his hands fumbled with the smaller boy's belt but that was when Kurt stopped him. Those blue-green eyes that were usually filled with love or lust were glaring up at him now,
“No Finn. No more of this,” he said, voice strong as he shoved the jock away. All Finn could do was blink at him, confused.
“I thought this was what you wanted?” he asked slowly, he couldn't understand why Kurt would suddenly stop him. Why he was glaring at him so harshly.
The bark of bitter laughter was unexpected,
“You think I want this?! Sneaking around everyone's backs just to have sex and then have you walk off and leave me as if nothing's happened? I thought you told me before that you didn't like meaningless sex Finn. You said that doing it with Santana, you'd felt nothing yet the way you just walk it off makes me think that obviously with me it's the same,” he retorted, his voice dry and shaking slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. He shook his head, eyes dropping to the floor before he spoke again.
“I love you Finn. More then I know I should and it hurts. We have to live together and go on with our lives at school as if we have nothing like that and you seem to have no problem with that. I...I can't take that anymore. I won't.”
Kurt wasn't weak, he was a Hummel and he didn't let people mess with him. He wasn't going to let anyone, even Finn Hudson, his long time crush and current step-brother. It may make him sound cold but he didn't care, he wasn't going to let himself be destroyed.
Not knowing how to respond, Finn just gaped. He'd guessed that Kurt had had feelings for him, it was one of the reasons he'd allowed their secret relationship to carry on. He'd thought it would make Kurt happy while not upsetting their parents or destroying his reputation at school. He'd thought it was a win-win situation.
Obviously not.
“Kurt. You know it has to be a secret, we can't be together if our parents are. It just isn't done, what we've been doing is wrong and both you and I know it.”
The two boys stood in silence as Finn tried to figure out what to say to make everything better.
Eventually the taller brunet stepped forwards and placed his hands on the counter on either side of the upset soprano.
“Listen. I do care for you. I do...love you but that's all I can do. I have to leave you at night, I have to act as if nothing has happened because otherwise nothing else might. I don't know what else I can say Kurt, you know I'm no good with words,” he explained with a dry laugh of his own as he raised a hand to caress a pale cheek.
Blue-green eyes looked back up with him, hope glowing in them as rosy-pink lips formed a small 'o' shape as he gulped.
“Do you mean that? That you love me?”
Finn was hesitant for a moment, if he said this once he couldn't take it back. He'd be going against any arguments he'd made to himself in the past but as he looked down on the beautiful face of his step-brother/lover he couldn't help but smile softly and nod.
“Yes.”
They kissed then, it was soft and chaste but it meant more then any of the kisses they shared during any of their past sexual trysts had.
As they pulled away though, Finn frowned,
“This doesn't make me gay though does it?” he asked and Kurt couldn't help but laugh and peck Finn on the cheek.
“No sweetie, unless you're attracted to any other men?” he replied with a raised eyebrow. Finn shook his head, looking slightly disturbed at the thought and Kurt just laughed.
“Then no, you're not gay. Just attracted to me.”
Author: Woodsgal
Fandom: Glee
Rating: M
Word Count: 2177
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
Spoilers: Mainly for S1E16 and a slight spoiler for season 2 though god knows if Carole and Burt will actually marry or not.
Warnings: Step-Brother Incest and masturbation.
Summary: Finn and Kurt are in a relationship deeper then they should be as brothers.
Authors Notes: I quite honestly do not even know why I wrote this. I wrote it in one session while constantly moaning at my friends that I was writing something strange and rather wrong. They all just encouraged me though and this is the end result.
Thanks to my friend Michael for betaing.
They both knew it was wrong.
They both knew that they shouldn't be doing this, that they could tear everything their parents had apart. That they could destroy any chance of having a relationship that actually meant anything. They just couldn't stop it, they'd tried but every single time something had happened and they were right back in the same situation again.
Large hands roamed pale skin, fingers stroking and teasing every part of the smaller body that they could reach. The smaller brunet just keened and whined breathlessly, arms slipping around the male above him's neck, fingers scrabbling for purchase in short brown locks as he pulled his lover back up into a desperate kiss. He lifted his hips, pressing and rubbing his need against the male above him, frantically trying to show him what he wanted, what he needed without having to pull away from the kiss, without having to say anything in case the spell was broken.
Downstairs their parents sat watching television, probably talking about their day, completely oblivious to what their sons were doing. Blind to the sexual tension that seemed to haunt their every living moment.
Sometimes naivety is bliss.
As the two boys moved together, desperately trying to reach that high. Not wanting it to end but knowing it had to or risk getting caught.
It was sticky and quick but it was short amount of time they spent together afterward, the moments of post-coital bliss spent wrapped in each others arms that completed them. That made them feel like they really had something, something that couldn't get from long, languorous sessions with their respective boyfriend and girlfriend.
It was purely the fact that it was each other, that they could just lay together for a few moments of peace after something so physical and needy.
The fact that for once no one would judge them.
It never lasted though, eventually Finn would always get up and stumble around the room, tugging his clothes on as quickly as possible. He'd smile once last sweet smile before he would leave the room, leaving Kurt naked, alone and always feeling abandoned.
Every time it happened the guilt and the loneliness overwhelmed him afterward and he always cried himself to sleep.
*****
It wasn't an easy secret to keep, all it took was a subtle nudging of the hips, a gentle touch or a lingering glance and they wanted more.
Kurt couldn't explain it and Finn certainly didn't understand what was going on. He wasn't gay. He was dating Rachel and he had never been interested in any other guys before so he couldn't be right? It had to be that he had been spending too much time with the smaller male.
It had all started a few weeks ago, it had been a hot day so Finn had been wandering the house wearing nothing much. Burt was out at the garage and his mom was god knows where, he hadn't seem Kurt around so he'd assumed he'd gone out. Probably with Mercedes or that boyfriend of his. His lips curled into a scowl at the thought. He didn't know why but for some reason he didn't like the guy. He seemed nice enough but Kurt never seemed to have much time for anyone apart from him these days. Finn didn't like that. It wasn't fair that some guy who had only been around for a couple of months was hogging all of the soprano's attention. Other people might want to see him to. Admittedly Finn had been able to see him more then some of the others, they lived together so they saw each other every day even if it was a only for a minute or two to get their food but it was still something. Plus his mom and Burt had been trying to get them to hang out a little more, going on family trips and separating.
The problem was that the two didn't really have all that much to talk about. Yes they had Glee so they could talk about friends and music but that was about where it ended. They had completely different tastes in music and Finn preferred to talk about sports rather then fashion. That and Finn's knowledge of Kurt's former crush on him made things rather awkward. They tried to work around it, having simple friendly conversations and sometimes they had a great time together but other days, they just didn't know what to do around each other it was the simple fact of how things were.
Finn didn't mind that though, they had more good days then bad and he did like spending time with Kurt. He was an awesome dude, it just wasn't always easy.
At the time he had wished that Kurt had been around so they could hang out, maybe sort things out so everything wouldn't be so awkward but the way he discovered the smaller brunet made him regret that wish because certainly Kurt was around but it certainly wouldn't make things any less awkward.
He had been trudging around upstairs, he'd mainly been laying about his room playing video games or tossing a football in the air and catching it. He'd taken a full litre bottle of soda up with him and in the short space of time that he'd been bored, he'd drunk it all. That meant that he now needed to piss and pretty badly actually. So he'd rushed to the bathroom and had relieved himself. Now, the bathroom was the other side of the hall, in between the study and Kurt's room so he hadn't heard him from all the way over in his room. Apparently Kurt hadn't heard him rushing to the bathroom either.
He could hear quiet whimpers and groans coming from the male cheerio's room. Was he okay? So slightly worried about the other boy he had gone over to the other door and rather then knocking as he really should have done, he quietly opened it. The sight that greeted him was the one that he had least expected.
Kurt lay back on his bed, head thrown into the pillow and hair mussed as he squeezed his eyes shut. His legs pushed his lower body up and one arm reached below, seemingly doing something. He was distracted for the moment by the state that the brunet was in. He looked disheveled and all that covered his body was one of his designer button up shirts, the material was open across his chest and was being creased by his positioning and his actions. Another quiet moan brought Finn back to his senses and he opened the door, stepping in to get a better look. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the male who was now visibly panting as he slipped another finger into himself. Finn had never seen a guy finger himself before, he knew it was possible. He'd read...stuff before but he hadn't thought that he'd ever witness a guy doing it. Or that it would be such a turn on really.
He could feel himself growing hard and he found he didn't care, he just wanted to go over there and join him. A hand slipped down towards his shorts when Kurt's mouth opened and breathlessly he moaned,
“Finn, uhhhh, right there.”
Finn's hand dropped under the restricting material and gripped himself, starting to stroke in time with Kurt's moans and he didn't move until the little show was over. The smaller brunet's eyes fluttered open, mouth dropping slightly as he spotted his step-brother staring at him panting with his eyes half-closed.
That was all it took for Finn to come to his senses though, he looked around the room, at everything other then Kurt before he stumbled out of his room and into the shower so he could get off the soiled clothes and clean himself off.
What had he done?
That wasn't right, Kurt was a boy, his step-brother even. You just didn't jerk-off over your step-brother, even if you knew that said male had had a crush on you before your parents were married. It just wasn't done.
He'd called Rachel up and had gone over hers, cuddling and making out all they could until her dads kicked him out and sent him home.
When Kurt had crept into his room that night, clean now but in nothing but that same shirt from earlier he hadn't said anything when he'd crawled into his bed. Hadn't stopped him when he'd kissed him. Hadn't stopped him when it turned into so much more.
He should feel guilty, dirty, sick but he didn't, he couldn't hate himself.
*****
Things weren't going to go on like that forever, they couldn't.
Everything came to a head one night when Carole and Burt had gone out to dinner, leaving the two teenage boys to fend for themselves for the evening.
As usual it had started off innocently enough but Finn soon had Kurt pinned against the kitchen counter as his hands fumbled with the smaller boy's belt but that was when Kurt stopped him. Those blue-green eyes that were usually filled with love or lust were glaring up at him now,
“No Finn. No more of this,” he said, voice strong as he shoved the jock away. All Finn could do was blink at him, confused.
“I thought this was what you wanted?” he asked slowly, he couldn't understand why Kurt would suddenly stop him. Why he was glaring at him so harshly.
The bark of bitter laughter was unexpected,
“You think I want this?! Sneaking around everyone's backs just to have sex and then have you walk off and leave me as if nothing's happened? I thought you told me before that you didn't like meaningless sex Finn. You said that doing it with Santana, you'd felt nothing yet the way you just walk it off makes me think that obviously with me it's the same,” he retorted, his voice dry and shaking slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. He shook his head, eyes dropping to the floor before he spoke again.
“I love you Finn. More then I know I should and it hurts. We have to live together and go on with our lives at school as if we have nothing like that and you seem to have no problem with that. I...I can't take that anymore. I won't.”
Kurt wasn't weak, he was a Hummel and he didn't let people mess with him. He wasn't going to let anyone, even Finn Hudson, his long time crush and current step-brother. It may make him sound cold but he didn't care, he wasn't going to let himself be destroyed.
Not knowing how to respond, Finn just gaped. He'd guessed that Kurt had had feelings for him, it was one of the reasons he'd allowed their secret relationship to carry on. He'd thought it would make Kurt happy while not upsetting their parents or destroying his reputation at school. He'd thought it was a win-win situation.
Obviously not.
“Kurt. You know it has to be a secret, we can't be together if our parents are. It just isn't done, what we've been doing is wrong and both you and I know it.”
The two boys stood in silence as Finn tried to figure out what to say to make everything better.
Eventually the taller brunet stepped forwards and placed his hands on the counter on either side of the upset soprano.
“Listen. I do care for you. I do...love you but that's all I can do. I have to leave you at night, I have to act as if nothing has happened because otherwise nothing else might. I don't know what else I can say Kurt, you know I'm no good with words,” he explained with a dry laugh of his own as he raised a hand to caress a pale cheek.
Blue-green eyes looked back up with him, hope glowing in them as rosy-pink lips formed a small 'o' shape as he gulped.
“Do you mean that? That you love me?”
Finn was hesitant for a moment, if he said this once he couldn't take it back. He'd be going against any arguments he'd made to himself in the past but as he looked down on the beautiful face of his step-brother/lover he couldn't help but smile softly and nod.
“Yes.”
They kissed then, it was soft and chaste but it meant more then any of the kisses they shared during any of their past sexual trysts had.
As they pulled away though, Finn frowned,
“This doesn't make me gay though does it?” he asked and Kurt couldn't help but laugh and peck Finn on the cheek.
“No sweetie, unless you're attracted to any other men?” he replied with a raised eyebrow. Finn shook his head, looking slightly disturbed at the thought and Kurt just laughed.
“Then no, you're not gay. Just attracted to me.”