Gabriella Marie Riza 5/28/2003 - 9/08/2006
yes, she had a first, middle and last name, fools... how would you have felt if your parents just named you "peanut", and left it at that?
anyway, she left us yesterday morning. i'm still going in and out of my own emotions, but far more at peace with everything than i was in the other post. it's just strange that she isnt here... especially when i walk into her room, and everything is normal and in place except for her. i feel like my stomach is missing... i seriousy cant feel it in there.
it's hard to lose an animal that you love, and it's especially hard to fight extensively to save something and have your efforts fail. she apparently wasnt meant to be saved... in the last 24 hours of her life she suddenly dropped to a bad point. when i went to bed on thursday night, i really ddnt even think she was going to be alive in the morning to go to the appointment... and even the vet said, she had another day or two in her at the most. where we thought we had the reasons for her initial stroke figured out, we now think she may have had some form of liver cancer... although earlier examination showed no tumors or signs of it. if that's the case, then there was absolutely nothing that could have been done for her. at least she didnt suffer... and those last two days, she was too out of it to feel anything if there would have been any sudden pains.
in any case, the doctor asked for permission to do a basic necropsy to see if there was any obvious answers to this. i obliged, as much as i originally didnt want it... in case there was anything fucked up that i could warn other owners and breeders about.
the animal hospital I've been going to was absolutely wonderful in this matter. i dont know how all veterinarians are in the privacy of the "death room"... but being at other facilities, while others had their animals euthanized, left me with the impression that alot of doctors are rather unfeeling and rushed in the matter. Dr. Ponsor, judging by the look in her face, was obviously feeling something as she took gabby from me to administer the injection... for that last few minutes while i held and petted her waiting for her to pass, she sat next to me, looking as if we raised this animal together. not like a doctor. the whole process was relaxed and unrushed... she was in there 20 minutes or so before even administering the injection, and she stayed in the room for a good 20 minutes or so after Gabby had expired. i even asked her about her "goofing off" since there where other patients in the rooms... and she simply replied, "i take this stuff seriously, and if another patient is here longer than they wanted to be... they should at least realize their "inconvenience" is nothing, considering their animal is going home with them". that's pretty cool.
everything was taken care of for me, as the little one will be cremated and returned to me later in the week. as i was about to leave, the vet tech handed me a little clay plaque with gabby's footprints and name written in little wooden blocks embedded into it... that she had made while the doctor was distracting me before the process began. it's a sweet thing to do, alhough i'm not into cutesy shit. on top of it all, i was told that i'm not going to pay for this. between the geat veterinarians in there, and the way they handle things such as this... i'd advise everyone to go there for anything their pet needs.
with that part over and handled wonderfully, i just have to deal with the rest of it... i dont think they can help me on that part. i'll get through it though... although i dont think i'll ever stop missing her, it'll probably develop into a healthier type of missing with a bit of time.
theres been alot of memories, good times and laughs along the way... unfortunately, as you learn, there's never enough of those things, no matter how long you have to make them. things end, our loved ones pass.
i know there's alot of people that cant understand totally... or misinterpret what a hedgehog is or does- anyone that dosent know, simply has no experience with them, or didnt properly interact with them to bring out their personality.
it dosent matter though... even for those who do know... Gabby was the greatest little animal in the world, and the one that all little hedgehogs wish they could be, but will fail in pursuit of that greatness.
and a breif message just for Gabby...
i dont know where you are, or if that place has internet access so you can read this. but we love you, miss you and think about you alot... what's more important though, is that you dont feel like you did anymore. it's all better now, like i promised.
i love you, baby...
fuat
P.S. - i just want to give you a little warning though- if youre hanging out and playing, and some crazy, overexcited, spaz of an australian starts rushing at you and tries grabbing you... dont freak out, he's a good guy and just wants to play with you. just dont ride around in his front shirt pocket, it's not the safest place regarding high speed, sharp things launching at you.
ok, babies and heroes... i'm out. gotta go cry, or vomit again, or something.
anyway, she left us yesterday morning. i'm still going in and out of my own emotions, but far more at peace with everything than i was in the other post. it's just strange that she isnt here... especially when i walk into her room, and everything is normal and in place except for her. i feel like my stomach is missing... i seriousy cant feel it in there.
it's hard to lose an animal that you love, and it's especially hard to fight extensively to save something and have your efforts fail. she apparently wasnt meant to be saved... in the last 24 hours of her life she suddenly dropped to a bad point. when i went to bed on thursday night, i really ddnt even think she was going to be alive in the morning to go to the appointment... and even the vet said, she had another day or two in her at the most. where we thought we had the reasons for her initial stroke figured out, we now think she may have had some form of liver cancer... although earlier examination showed no tumors or signs of it. if that's the case, then there was absolutely nothing that could have been done for her. at least she didnt suffer... and those last two days, she was too out of it to feel anything if there would have been any sudden pains.
in any case, the doctor asked for permission to do a basic necropsy to see if there was any obvious answers to this. i obliged, as much as i originally didnt want it... in case there was anything fucked up that i could warn other owners and breeders about.
the animal hospital I've been going to was absolutely wonderful in this matter. i dont know how all veterinarians are in the privacy of the "death room"... but being at other facilities, while others had their animals euthanized, left me with the impression that alot of doctors are rather unfeeling and rushed in the matter. Dr. Ponsor, judging by the look in her face, was obviously feeling something as she took gabby from me to administer the injection... for that last few minutes while i held and petted her waiting for her to pass, she sat next to me, looking as if we raised this animal together. not like a doctor. the whole process was relaxed and unrushed... she was in there 20 minutes or so before even administering the injection, and she stayed in the room for a good 20 minutes or so after Gabby had expired. i even asked her about her "goofing off" since there where other patients in the rooms... and she simply replied, "i take this stuff seriously, and if another patient is here longer than they wanted to be... they should at least realize their "inconvenience" is nothing, considering their animal is going home with them". that's pretty cool.
everything was taken care of for me, as the little one will be cremated and returned to me later in the week. as i was about to leave, the vet tech handed me a little clay plaque with gabby's footprints and name written in little wooden blocks embedded into it... that she had made while the doctor was distracting me before the process began. it's a sweet thing to do, alhough i'm not into cutesy shit. on top of it all, i was told that i'm not going to pay for this. between the geat veterinarians in there, and the way they handle things such as this... i'd advise everyone to go there for anything their pet needs.
with that part over and handled wonderfully, i just have to deal with the rest of it... i dont think they can help me on that part. i'll get through it though... although i dont think i'll ever stop missing her, it'll probably develop into a healthier type of missing with a bit of time.
theres been alot of memories, good times and laughs along the way... unfortunately, as you learn, there's never enough of those things, no matter how long you have to make them. things end, our loved ones pass.
i know there's alot of people that cant understand totally... or misinterpret what a hedgehog is or does- anyone that dosent know, simply has no experience with them, or didnt properly interact with them to bring out their personality.
it dosent matter though... even for those who do know... Gabby was the greatest little animal in the world, and the one that all little hedgehogs wish they could be, but will fail in pursuit of that greatness.
and a breif message just for Gabby...
i dont know where you are, or if that place has internet access so you can read this. but we love you, miss you and think about you alot... what's more important though, is that you dont feel like you did anymore. it's all better now, like i promised.
i love you, baby...
fuat
P.S. - i just want to give you a little warning though- if youre hanging out and playing, and some crazy, overexcited, spaz of an australian starts rushing at you and tries grabbing you... dont freak out, he's a good guy and just wants to play with you. just dont ride around in his front shirt pocket, it's not the safest place regarding high speed, sharp things launching at you.
ok, babies and heroes... i'm out. gotta go cry, or vomit again, or something.