It needed to be said
I feel that it is time for me to come clean with many of you. I am no where near the person I pretend to be.
To most of you I am the fun loving always up for a drink Jon. When in fact, I am a very dark person.
I tend to hurt those nearest me because I try to be everything to everyone and in doing so, I lose sight of what really matters in this world.
This is by no means a 'boo whoo' 'pay attention to me' post; in fact it is quite the opposite. I have decided that it is not worth me trying to keep all of you as friends if you do not know the real me. So, here are a few things you might not know and probably should if you want to continue to be my friend:
- I smoked for a VERY brief period in my life. I am not proud of this but I still crave nicotine every day.
- I think I'm an alcoholic. Not in the cute sense where I am the babbling drunk, but in the sense that I use alcohol to escape from my problems and along with my many other addictions nearly every morning I wake up and want to drink.
- I have fucked up my marriage so many times it isn't funny. I have no idea what I am doing or why Missy is still with me but I thank God everyday that I get to wake up next to her. Or at least in an adjoining room.
- I don't think I deserve Missy. Not kidding here.
- I think it's funny when people get hurt.
- I like catching shoplifters because when I do, I know their life will be as fucked up as mine from that point forward.
- If you think I am being cynical or sarcastic there's a pretty good chance I'm not and I'm actually being quite serious.
- The thought of death keeps me awake at night but the realization of death allows me to deal with life.
- I have no idea how to take care of a cat nor any animal.
- I am afraid to have children because I am afraid I will turn out like my dad.
- I could very easily lie to your face and probably never feel a thing.
- I find it nearly impossible to lie to Missy.
- I have a hard time throwing anything away because a small part of me worries that even paper might have feelings.
- Secretly I know God exists despite what I say, however I completely disagree with how he is running things and I am fully prepared to go to Hell for it.
- I probably deserve to go to Hell anyway.
- I very honestly think the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012. Look it up.
- Secretly, I enjoy country music because it reminds me of Alma.
- If I could, I would have tons of piercings and tattoos.
- I used to think I had superpowers.
- I still think I might.
- Despite what many of you have said while drunk or at bars, if anything happened between Missy and I; I know you will take her side and I completely respect you for it.
- If you didn't you'd be an awful friend. And an even worse human being than I am.
- I will very honestly be pissed if even one person leaves me a comment showing any signs of sympathy toward me.
- If you are that person that does that, expect me to never talk to you again because you just proved to me that you have no idea who I am.
I think this is all for now. I will have another list prepared for you all soon once I think of more pertinent information. I would love a heads up if I have scared any of you off or if you're still on board.
To most of you I am the fun loving always up for a drink Jon. When in fact, I am a very dark person.
I tend to hurt those nearest me because I try to be everything to everyone and in doing so, I lose sight of what really matters in this world.
This is by no means a 'boo whoo' 'pay attention to me' post; in fact it is quite the opposite. I have decided that it is not worth me trying to keep all of you as friends if you do not know the real me. So, here are a few things you might not know and probably should if you want to continue to be my friend:
- I smoked for a VERY brief period in my life. I am not proud of this but I still crave nicotine every day.
- I think I'm an alcoholic. Not in the cute sense where I am the babbling drunk, but in the sense that I use alcohol to escape from my problems and along with my many other addictions nearly every morning I wake up and want to drink.
- I have fucked up my marriage so many times it isn't funny. I have no idea what I am doing or why Missy is still with me but I thank God everyday that I get to wake up next to her. Or at least in an adjoining room.
- I don't think I deserve Missy. Not kidding here.
- I think it's funny when people get hurt.
- I like catching shoplifters because when I do, I know their life will be as fucked up as mine from that point forward.
- If you think I am being cynical or sarcastic there's a pretty good chance I'm not and I'm actually being quite serious.
- The thought of death keeps me awake at night but the realization of death allows me to deal with life.
- I have no idea how to take care of a cat nor any animal.
- I am afraid to have children because I am afraid I will turn out like my dad.
- I could very easily lie to your face and probably never feel a thing.
- I find it nearly impossible to lie to Missy.
- I have a hard time throwing anything away because a small part of me worries that even paper might have feelings.
- Secretly I know God exists despite what I say, however I completely disagree with how he is running things and I am fully prepared to go to Hell for it.
- I probably deserve to go to Hell anyway.
- I very honestly think the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012. Look it up.
- Secretly, I enjoy country music because it reminds me of Alma.
- If I could, I would have tons of piercings and tattoos.
- I used to think I had superpowers.
- I still think I might.
- Despite what many of you have said while drunk or at bars, if anything happened between Missy and I; I know you will take her side and I completely respect you for it.
- If you didn't you'd be an awful friend. And an even worse human being than I am.
- I will very honestly be pissed if even one person leaves me a comment showing any signs of sympathy toward me.
- If you are that person that does that, expect me to never talk to you again because you just proved to me that you have no idea who I am.
I think this is all for now. I will have another list prepared for you all soon once I think of more pertinent information. I would love a heads up if I have scared any of you off or if you're still on board.