Nipples in jars!
So I had this dream right, and in this dream I had a son. "WAIT WAIT WAIT - WHAT?" I hear you cry, "Was this a dream or a nightmare?" Oh-ho I'm such a bitch. But no. Just a dream, friends. Anyway, son. Yes. But this was no ordinary baby boy you see. He was about eight foot high but he was proportionally correct according to the way babies are built. So he had a massive head, and great fat arms and so on. Like in that anime movie, I think it was Spirited Away, that one that everyone went mad over. I think that had a massive baby in it. However! Not the point. Now this baby had a disorder (unrelated to it's massive size) called Christianitis so he had to be bathed in the blood of lambs and he could only eat the human flesh of men who looked like Jesus (and of course, drink only their blood). So I had to spend all my time (when I wasn't bathing this massive baby in lamb blood, and it takes a lot of blood to bath a five foot high baby) looking for men who resembled Jesus so that I could take them home, kill them and food-processor their flesh (because babies have no teeth). And then I'd feed it to him and I'd have to perch on a ladder and make the spoon do those airplane things like you see Mums do on the telly with their kids. And he wouldn't go to sleep unless I read from the bible.
I have no idea what the fuck.
So my family (mum, dad and my sis) are moving to Melbourne next year and I'll be going too since I'm back living with them and I was planning to move there sometime anyway so why not do it when they'll pay for all my shit to be moved (and I got a lot of shit, plus one cat!). For those of you unfamiliar with the geography of Australia (and I wouldn't blame you if you weren't), Melbourne is pretty much as far away from Perth as you can get without leaving the country and it's where all the good stuff happens. And it's right next to the mother land - New Zealand! So that might be good.
But something less good! I need GLASSES. And they're BIFOCAL. I FEEL SO OLD HOLY FUCK. But maybe I won't have continuous headaches, which might make me more pleasant to be around but probably not.
I have no idea what the fuck.
So my family (mum, dad and my sis) are moving to Melbourne next year and I'll be going too since I'm back living with them and I was planning to move there sometime anyway so why not do it when they'll pay for all my shit to be moved (and I got a lot of shit, plus one cat!). For those of you unfamiliar with the geography of Australia (and I wouldn't blame you if you weren't), Melbourne is pretty much as far away from Perth as you can get without leaving the country and it's where all the good stuff happens. And it's right next to the mother land - New Zealand! So that might be good.
But something less good! I need GLASSES. And they're BIFOCAL. I FEEL SO OLD HOLY FUCK. But maybe I won't have continuous headaches, which might make me more pleasant to be around but probably not.