(no subject)
here is my issue:
im bipolar. really, really bipolar. like, sometimes i can't see, it physically affects my vision. my mind goes so fast and i get so scatterbrained and i never sleep and im getting worse..... so much worse. oh my goodness im getting grey hair [imma turn 23 in two months]. its affecting my job, my personal relationships, and my drivers lisence... it will be suspended on sept 10th cause i didn't pay the bill in time and for whatever reason i pled guilty and i dont know what happened after that i must have blacked out? but penndot won't budge cause they have my signature on something. so whatever.
im not covered under my health plan with work cause my condition was "pre-existing" and they won't foot the bill til april of '08. i [clearly] can't survive unmedicated until then, and free clinics are open during business hours. i WORK during business hours, assholes.
so here is what i was thinking, and tell me if this is totally out of line.... i'd have to read the fine print, but im wondering if i sign myself inpatient again, my company would pay. i know the hospitalization would be covered... but im wondering about the aftercare, and if i could speed up all the red tape of psychiatry by going in? i wont survive until april. im not suicidal yet but im cutting again, i dont [cant?] eat, my hair is falling out and i cant see. the last time i was inpatient, i felt like the healthiest one there because i didnt land in the ER due to a failed suicide attempt. but really, i was really sick. im really sick now.
should i just suck it up til april? or sign in?
im bipolar. really, really bipolar. like, sometimes i can't see, it physically affects my vision. my mind goes so fast and i get so scatterbrained and i never sleep and im getting worse..... so much worse. oh my goodness im getting grey hair [imma turn 23 in two months]. its affecting my job, my personal relationships, and my drivers lisence... it will be suspended on sept 10th cause i didn't pay the bill in time and for whatever reason i pled guilty and i dont know what happened after that i must have blacked out? but penndot won't budge cause they have my signature on something. so whatever.
im not covered under my health plan with work cause my condition was "pre-existing" and they won't foot the bill til april of '08. i [clearly] can't survive unmedicated until then, and free clinics are open during business hours. i WORK during business hours, assholes.
so here is what i was thinking, and tell me if this is totally out of line.... i'd have to read the fine print, but im wondering if i sign myself inpatient again, my company would pay. i know the hospitalization would be covered... but im wondering about the aftercare, and if i could speed up all the red tape of psychiatry by going in? i wont survive until april. im not suicidal yet but im cutting again, i dont [cant?] eat, my hair is falling out and i cant see. the last time i was inpatient, i felt like the healthiest one there because i didnt land in the ER due to a failed suicide attempt. but really, i was really sick. im really sick now.
should i just suck it up til april? or sign in?