Gee Wiz!
My love life is sure getting interesting.
Not that i have much of one. But.....gee wiz!
and i find myself once again against the wall of my asexuality. Which....really...if i'm honest with myself is just my deep imbedded fear issues. Intimacy...is something i'm not sure if i can do. I think myself very capible of it...but it's harder when it's real.
But...i've got a little bit of experience now. and that combined with the fact that i have seen the inside of my mind...and know why i am unable to "flow" that way....i think....well....maybe.
Maybe. And that's saying a lot. And here i recently gave up on the love thing. This time...i'm not going to stress over it. Hell....from here on out...i just need to let go and go with things and not be so concerned over everything.
I need to get to know her better first....but....from what little time i've spent with her....she's GREAT.
I'm a little worried on the emotional part. but...i'm not going to dwell on this. everyone has that side of themselves.
I need to let go. and i need to just go with it. if it does or doesn't amount to anything.
But the things i got going for me: Atheist, free spirited, family-connections, and the band "the kinks".
Things i'm worried about: ME. from my "worried about acceptance" to "my quirky strange dorky personality" and "moments of social ackwardness". And various other issues in regards to my sexuality.
But....eh.
I'm not going to hype this up. Because if i do....then....i'll just be that much more worried about it. So....it's time to "see where it goes".
Hell....probably no where. She's supposed to leave town on the 9th. and it's going to take a lot longer than those few days to crack my emotional shell.
anyway.....here's the song i sang on the way home....just because i love the movie so much.
i'm going to be a little bit more lose if anything comes of this. hell...even if not. loose is good.
Bed.
Not that i have much of one. But.....gee wiz!
and i find myself once again against the wall of my asexuality. Which....really...if i'm honest with myself is just my deep imbedded fear issues. Intimacy...is something i'm not sure if i can do. I think myself very capible of it...but it's harder when it's real.
But...i've got a little bit of experience now. and that combined with the fact that i have seen the inside of my mind...and know why i am unable to "flow" that way....i think....well....maybe.
Maybe. And that's saying a lot. And here i recently gave up on the love thing. This time...i'm not going to stress over it. Hell....from here on out...i just need to let go and go with things and not be so concerned over everything.
I need to get to know her better first....but....from what little time i've spent with her....she's GREAT.
I'm a little worried on the emotional part. but...i'm not going to dwell on this. everyone has that side of themselves.
I need to let go. and i need to just go with it. if it does or doesn't amount to anything.
But the things i got going for me: Atheist, free spirited, family-connections, and the band "the kinks".
Things i'm worried about: ME. from my "worried about acceptance" to "my quirky strange dorky personality" and "moments of social ackwardness". And various other issues in regards to my sexuality.
But....eh.
I'm not going to hype this up. Because if i do....then....i'll just be that much more worried about it. So....it's time to "see where it goes".
Hell....probably no where. She's supposed to leave town on the 9th. and it's going to take a lot longer than those few days to crack my emotional shell.
anyway.....here's the song i sang on the way home....just because i love the movie so much.
Click to viewi'm going to be a little bit more lose if anything comes of this. hell...even if not. loose is good.
Bed.