Freelance Monotheism
Lately I'm kind of in a spiritual middle-ground, like if there were a balance point in the middle of the triangle formed by Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. It's a state of tension, of not-knowing and being aware of that, of letting myself not have any clue which path is the One True Religion. I believe there's one God, somehow the God of Revelation, the God of the Jewish Bible, the God of the Qur'an, the God of the New Testament, the God of the Qabbalah, the God of the Sufis. Transcendent and immanent. But I'm also convinced that there's spiritual Truth in the Mystery of the Incarnation of Jesus Christ. I think the Gnostic stuff is interesting, but ultimately too convoluted and too antagonistic and polemical, too focused on arguing with orthodox Christianity rather than on things like the relationship between humanity and the Lord or compassion and charity.
I guess it comes down to this: Fuck it, it doesn't actually matter, and I probably won't fit in with any orthodox religious group, so if one week I pray to Allah and the next I pray to Christ, big hairy deal. On spiritual matters I answer to no one but God -- so until God considers my doctrinal consistency important enough to tell me so, I'm not going to worry about it either.
I guess it comes down to this: Fuck it, it doesn't actually matter, and I probably won't fit in with any orthodox religious group, so if one week I pray to Allah and the next I pray to Christ, big hairy deal. On spiritual matters I answer to no one but God -- so until God considers my doctrinal consistency important enough to tell me so, I'm not going to worry about it either.