My heart is racing, the emotions keep spinning out.
I can't believe I'm not asleep right now, but for some reason I can't seem to get the thoughts in my head to quiet down enough so I can relax. I don't even know what it is, well... maybe I do. But I can't really put it into words. I probably shouldn't, I mean, I'm probably just getting way ahead of myself. I tend to do that.
But, I'm just excited. There are just so many wonderful things that I'm looking forward to, and maybe only some of them will ever happen, or turn out the way I want them to, but I just find it so hard to be anything but optimistic and hopeful. Looking forward to the future just feels really good, I can't help it.
I am having a hard time convincing myself tomorrow is Monday. Working all weekend really threw my whole schedule off. I'd love to just catch up on sleep, but I think it's more important for me to catch up on errands, organize my life, and clean. I'm pretty excited I'm off until Wednesday, I could use a break.
Oh, but you guys should know that I love my job. Like, I'm head over heels for it. I feel guilty, like no one should really like their job that much, but I do. I love the people I work with, my managers are wonderful, it's a supportive and nurturing environment. And I love my patients. I make mistakes, and I'm far from perfect, but I already feel like I make a difference. I feel like I found what I was meant to do. It's a really incredible feeling.
So, I'm trying hard not to think about how absolutely terrified I am that some other shoe is going to drop. Like everything is just going too well right now, that something terrible is just lurking around the corner to bring it all crashing down. I guess that nagging feeling is like a little bit of self protection, bracing myself to fall on my face. But I'm hoping I just get caught... or at least make it to my back. *sigh* I really should try to sleep. Later, skaterz.
But, I'm just excited. There are just so many wonderful things that I'm looking forward to, and maybe only some of them will ever happen, or turn out the way I want them to, but I just find it so hard to be anything but optimistic and hopeful. Looking forward to the future just feels really good, I can't help it.
I am having a hard time convincing myself tomorrow is Monday. Working all weekend really threw my whole schedule off. I'd love to just catch up on sleep, but I think it's more important for me to catch up on errands, organize my life, and clean. I'm pretty excited I'm off until Wednesday, I could use a break.
Oh, but you guys should know that I love my job. Like, I'm head over heels for it. I feel guilty, like no one should really like their job that much, but I do. I love the people I work with, my managers are wonderful, it's a supportive and nurturing environment. And I love my patients. I make mistakes, and I'm far from perfect, but I already feel like I make a difference. I feel like I found what I was meant to do. It's a really incredible feeling.
So, I'm trying hard not to think about how absolutely terrified I am that some other shoe is going to drop. Like everything is just going too well right now, that something terrible is just lurking around the corner to bring it all crashing down. I guess that nagging feeling is like a little bit of self protection, bracing myself to fall on my face. But I'm hoping I just get caught... or at least make it to my back. *sigh* I really should try to sleep. Later, skaterz.