Dear Diary
Well Today I am off to Dickens again, this time I am bring my Cuddle Monster instead of the boyfriend. I am glad all my friend are wanting to go different weekends so I can focus my time and energy with them. I am also glad my friends working fair have been kind enough to give me their tickets. I had free passes for last weekend and this one. I am not expecting free passes for the next two, I am just hoping for this half off coupons, that makes a big difference.
Do I miss working Dickens? Honestly no. I really don;t miss the stress, drama, costume nazi's, getting up early (and not getting paid), having my dad constantly asking why I have to drive/can't get a ride and having to explain for the Umteenth time that I am one of the ONLY ones who lives in San Francisco so there ARE no rides no matter what I do and the few people who DO live here don't have CARS!, the large amounts of cash it sucks out of me, the sickness and all the other lovely things that go with it. I miss seeing my friend but since I feel like I have fallen out of the ballroom community that doesn't seem to out weight alot of the drama. Will I do it next year? No clue. I have so much to figure out before then that i can't tell from here. If I DO go back I will be joining Jeremy's girls. I got a nice invite that I want to take. Part of me feels bd admitting that I don't miss working the fair but I still enjoy going and have been having a WONDERFUL time doing that so if I am having fun isn;t that the point? I can visit my friends, and give them an excuse to have a good time as well and support them. Also I can get drunk and give them someone to laugh at so I am doing them a favor.
Work is OK. I am struggling in a way because I am so tired lately. I guess I have been doing alot (but I am not sure what the "lot" is). It is also I feel like I am missing out on alot of things. I am also worrying about the cover for the 22nd. C, S, J, and S all said "No", and E said "No, but call me if you can;t find anyone". J said "Yes" but since she is still "training" Lisa (the boss lady) said to be careful because she may not stay or something. I am worried. VERY worried. I don't know what I am going to do if this gets messed up. I mean, they can;t ask me to change my plans can they?
I do admit a major frustration in my life right now is my father. I don't think he realizes how much he has been pissing me off as of late. Example: we currently only have one car (OK 2 because he and my mom can drive hers, but my brother and I can't cuz it is a stick shift and neither of us can drive stick). He is dragging his feet on either fixing the old car or getting a new one. This is a major stresser for me because I never know if I will have it when I need it to get to work or not. It takes me 10 minutes to drive to work. it takes me between 30 and and hour to take the bus, depending on when the bus comes, and it takes 40 to walk. He can;t fit the Dog in my mom's car so he takes her out in it. When he leaves I tell him, I have to be at work at 4:30 and then i have a show I am leaving directly from work to in Oakland. he takes the do out at 3. I am not sure when he will be back and he forgets his cellphone. I in turn have a fucking panic attack at 3:30 when I can't get a hold of him.
Another example of my Dad pissing me off: I get home from work (the Irving location so I walk home, 20 minutes in the rain) at like 8 or 8:30, the night of my brother birthday. I have missed dinner but they waited to have dessert until I got there. Honestly I am exhausted as my Dad interrupted my nap that I take in the afternoon since i walk up at like 5:30 in the AM, to yell at me that I forgot to unload the dishwasher. We eat pie, and talk for 40 minutes before my dad tells me to drive my brother home. I am PISSED. Why me? Why can;t he do it? "Because I don;t have my shoes on" he says. SERIOUSLY DAD?
Final example (I hope): I am in the grocery store picking up crab for the Yule Tide tradition of "Crab and Star Wars" that my brother and I do. I call home and ask my dad if we have the stuff for crab sauce that we make. He tell me and then asks when i am going to get home because he and my mom want to go to the movies. I reply "as soon as I can but I am at the grocery store, remember tonight is 'Crab and Star Wars', I told you last week" and then he repeats "OK, but you mom and I are going to the movies and we would like the car back" "Well dad I'm at the damn grocery store and I am trying to get done as fast as I can" "Ok, it's just your mom and I are going to the movies and I would like my car back...Oh wait we will just take moms". SHESH! I am sorry I don't have a fucking time machine but I am at the fucking STORE buy food that you will eat so shut up!
My plan for tomorrow is to sleep in. I am REALLY tired these days. FINALLY do some cleaning, maybe change the sheets on my bed and clean off my desk. I am just hoping to get some rest for once. maybe see the boyfriend.
The rest of the week is work and preping for the Holidays.
XOXO
Do I miss working Dickens? Honestly no. I really don;t miss the stress, drama, costume nazi's, getting up early (and not getting paid), having my dad constantly asking why I have to drive/can't get a ride and having to explain for the Umteenth time that I am one of the ONLY ones who lives in San Francisco so there ARE no rides no matter what I do and the few people who DO live here don't have CARS!, the large amounts of cash it sucks out of me, the sickness and all the other lovely things that go with it. I miss seeing my friend but since I feel like I have fallen out of the ballroom community that doesn't seem to out weight alot of the drama. Will I do it next year? No clue. I have so much to figure out before then that i can't tell from here. If I DO go back I will be joining Jeremy's girls. I got a nice invite that I want to take. Part of me feels bd admitting that I don't miss working the fair but I still enjoy going and have been having a WONDERFUL time doing that so if I am having fun isn;t that the point? I can visit my friends, and give them an excuse to have a good time as well and support them. Also I can get drunk and give them someone to laugh at so I am doing them a favor.
Work is OK. I am struggling in a way because I am so tired lately. I guess I have been doing alot (but I am not sure what the "lot" is). It is also I feel like I am missing out on alot of things. I am also worrying about the cover for the 22nd. C, S, J, and S all said "No", and E said "No, but call me if you can;t find anyone". J said "Yes" but since she is still "training" Lisa (the boss lady) said to be careful because she may not stay or something. I am worried. VERY worried. I don't know what I am going to do if this gets messed up. I mean, they can;t ask me to change my plans can they?
I do admit a major frustration in my life right now is my father. I don't think he realizes how much he has been pissing me off as of late. Example: we currently only have one car (OK 2 because he and my mom can drive hers, but my brother and I can't cuz it is a stick shift and neither of us can drive stick). He is dragging his feet on either fixing the old car or getting a new one. This is a major stresser for me because I never know if I will have it when I need it to get to work or not. It takes me 10 minutes to drive to work. it takes me between 30 and and hour to take the bus, depending on when the bus comes, and it takes 40 to walk. He can;t fit the Dog in my mom's car so he takes her out in it. When he leaves I tell him, I have to be at work at 4:30 and then i have a show I am leaving directly from work to in Oakland. he takes the do out at 3. I am not sure when he will be back and he forgets his cellphone. I in turn have a fucking panic attack at 3:30 when I can't get a hold of him.
Another example of my Dad pissing me off: I get home from work (the Irving location so I walk home, 20 minutes in the rain) at like 8 or 8:30, the night of my brother birthday. I have missed dinner but they waited to have dessert until I got there. Honestly I am exhausted as my Dad interrupted my nap that I take in the afternoon since i walk up at like 5:30 in the AM, to yell at me that I forgot to unload the dishwasher. We eat pie, and talk for 40 minutes before my dad tells me to drive my brother home. I am PISSED. Why me? Why can;t he do it? "Because I don;t have my shoes on" he says. SERIOUSLY DAD?
Final example (I hope): I am in the grocery store picking up crab for the Yule Tide tradition of "Crab and Star Wars" that my brother and I do. I call home and ask my dad if we have the stuff for crab sauce that we make. He tell me and then asks when i am going to get home because he and my mom want to go to the movies. I reply "as soon as I can but I am at the grocery store, remember tonight is 'Crab and Star Wars', I told you last week" and then he repeats "OK, but you mom and I are going to the movies and we would like the car back" "Well dad I'm at the damn grocery store and I am trying to get done as fast as I can" "Ok, it's just your mom and I are going to the movies and I would like my car back...Oh wait we will just take moms". SHESH! I am sorry I don't have a fucking time machine but I am at the fucking STORE buy food that you will eat so shut up!
My plan for tomorrow is to sleep in. I am REALLY tired these days. FINALLY do some cleaning, maybe change the sheets on my bed and clean off my desk. I am just hoping to get some rest for once. maybe see the boyfriend.
The rest of the week is work and preping for the Holidays.
XOXO