An Odd Mix of Odds and and Ends
Inspired by Missmorte
The 2009 Uberlist
Note: Uberlist (for me) is not a list of resolutions but things I would like to accomplish
CAREER:
1. Keep my job (I know this one isn’t totally dependent on me but anyway…)
2. Take said job a little more seriously when I am there
3. (dependent on the economy) Ask for a raise
HOME:
1. Keep room clean on a regular basis
2. Reorganize closet, drawers and other storage spaces
3. Be more helpful around the house
ADVENTURE:
1. Take a vacation without the rents
2. Meet new people
3. Try out for some shows outside of my comfort zone (ACT and other things)
4. Walk around my city more
5. Do things with friends outside of my city
6. Go to movies more, maybe alone
CREATE:
1. Keep up with the knitting and try and do some of the projects in DomiKnitTrix
2. Do said Projects with the yarn in the closet
3. Once I have a good handle on knitting try and do some more sewing
4. Fix Dickens top
5. Make or find someone to help make Columbia Costume
MONEY:
1. Spend less and track spending
2. Pack a lunch and snack for work and school
3. Stop buying frivolous items so much (CANDY)
4. Sell CDs to Amoeba
BODY:
1. Go see intuitionalist with Mom and try and eat healthier
2. Drink more water
3. Dance more
4. Take my makeup off every night
5. Floss more
6. Try and use the weight room at school or the pool
7. Do my Carmen Electra DVDs at least twice a week
8. Avoid all nighters
LEARN:
1. Learn how to knit better
2. Learn how to sew better
3. Keep my GPA up (if I graduate Cum Laudie I get a reward from Dad)
4. Practice my French with people more, maybe people at school or even look for a conversational French class (I have lost some vocabulary)
5. Read more
6. Keep up with my homework
7. Learn to Love myself more then I already do
ETC:
1. Register on Model Mayhem and consider trying to modeling for money
2. Try not to get caught up in Drama anywhere
3. Tell Passive-Aggressive people Aggressively to go fuck them-selves
4. Keep writing postcards and letters to friends
5. Have meaningful conversations
6. Find love
7. Push negative people out of my life
8. Appreciate the friends I have for what they are and how they are in my life, stop crying they are not what I want and laugh for what they are
And now for something completely stupid
The Fact of Life
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)
If you broke wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig) (How'd they figure this out, and why?)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still can't get over that pig thing) (Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of....?) (Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out: ask them?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes....can you imagine?? And why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. (Creepy)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....??!!#&%) (Well at least pigs get the break there....)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be a pig....quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)
After reading all these, all I can say is... Lucky Pigs.
OK, so finally after all this funny I am going to make a few rants, Sorry!!!
Things that piss me off:
1) I hate when people demand things of me. My parents mainly do this particularly when they think I am not doing anything and just tell me to do something right then. I have my own schedule and I like to do thing on my own time. Right now it was super annoying because my Mom was yelling at me to get my laundry done and out of the laundry room before our cleaning lady comes tomorrow. My mom claims her job is not to pick up after me and I TOTALLY understand that and don’t ask her too but I am sorry that I started my laundry before I went to the movies and by the time I came back I forgot that I was doing laundry. I just hate when people demand things of me. I LIKE having my own schedule and doing things on it.
2) If you are going to the Movies and it has anything higher then a G rating do not bring children under the age of 4. I am sorry but some kid started crying during MILK and I was BYOND pissed. Get a fucking Baby sitter!!! If you have friend with kids make a deal that you will trade shifts for free but do SOMETHING besides bring them. This goes for restaurants too. I am sorry, but you had the kid not me and I don’t want to deal with it. If I am not allowed to bring my dog, you can’t bring your 5 year old (I figure my dog is about mentally the same as a 5 year old, maybe even better behaved).
3) Take the time to learn to park properly and then use those skills in parking lots so that people don’t get trapped by your car or have to do 9 point turns to get the hell out.
Umm, that is all right now.
On a personal note: I have been having some weird pain in my left hand (the one I right with) and because I am a hypochondriac I am now scared I have carpel tunnel. Someone call my crazy jewish nerves…
The 2009 Uberlist
Note: Uberlist (for me) is not a list of resolutions but things I would like to accomplish
CAREER:
1. Keep my job (I know this one isn’t totally dependent on me but anyway…)
2. Take said job a little more seriously when I am there
3. (dependent on the economy) Ask for a raise
HOME:
1. Keep room clean on a regular basis
2. Reorganize closet, drawers and other storage spaces
3. Be more helpful around the house
ADVENTURE:
1. Take a vacation without the rents
2. Meet new people
3. Try out for some shows outside of my comfort zone (ACT and other things)
4. Walk around my city more
5. Do things with friends outside of my city
6. Go to movies more, maybe alone
CREATE:
1. Keep up with the knitting and try and do some of the projects in DomiKnitTrix
2. Do said Projects with the yarn in the closet
3. Once I have a good handle on knitting try and do some more sewing
4. Fix Dickens top
5. Make or find someone to help make Columbia Costume
MONEY:
1. Spend less and track spending
2. Pack a lunch and snack for work and school
3. Stop buying frivolous items so much (CANDY)
4. Sell CDs to Amoeba
BODY:
1. Go see intuitionalist with Mom and try and eat healthier
2. Drink more water
3. Dance more
4. Take my makeup off every night
5. Floss more
6. Try and use the weight room at school or the pool
7. Do my Carmen Electra DVDs at least twice a week
8. Avoid all nighters
LEARN:
1. Learn how to knit better
2. Learn how to sew better
3. Keep my GPA up (if I graduate Cum Laudie I get a reward from Dad)
4. Practice my French with people more, maybe people at school or even look for a conversational French class (I have lost some vocabulary)
5. Read more
6. Keep up with my homework
7. Learn to Love myself more then I already do
ETC:
1. Register on Model Mayhem and consider trying to modeling for money
2. Try not to get caught up in Drama anywhere
3. Tell Passive-Aggressive people Aggressively to go fuck them-selves
4. Keep writing postcards and letters to friends
5. Have meaningful conversations
6. Find love
7. Push negative people out of my life
8. Appreciate the friends I have for what they are and how they are in my life, stop crying they are not what I want and laugh for what they are
And now for something completely stupid
The Fact of Life
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)
If you broke wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig) (How'd they figure this out, and why?)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still can't get over that pig thing) (Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of....?) (Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out: ask them?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes....can you imagine?? And why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. (Creepy)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....??!!#&%) (Well at least pigs get the break there....)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be a pig....quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)
After reading all these, all I can say is... Lucky Pigs.
OK, so finally after all this funny I am going to make a few rants, Sorry!!!
Things that piss me off:
1) I hate when people demand things of me. My parents mainly do this particularly when they think I am not doing anything and just tell me to do something right then. I have my own schedule and I like to do thing on my own time. Right now it was super annoying because my Mom was yelling at me to get my laundry done and out of the laundry room before our cleaning lady comes tomorrow. My mom claims her job is not to pick up after me and I TOTALLY understand that and don’t ask her too but I am sorry that I started my laundry before I went to the movies and by the time I came back I forgot that I was doing laundry. I just hate when people demand things of me. I LIKE having my own schedule and doing things on it.
2) If you are going to the Movies and it has anything higher then a G rating do not bring children under the age of 4. I am sorry but some kid started crying during MILK and I was BYOND pissed. Get a fucking Baby sitter!!! If you have friend with kids make a deal that you will trade shifts for free but do SOMETHING besides bring them. This goes for restaurants too. I am sorry, but you had the kid not me and I don’t want to deal with it. If I am not allowed to bring my dog, you can’t bring your 5 year old (I figure my dog is about mentally the same as a 5 year old, maybe even better behaved).
3) Take the time to learn to park properly and then use those skills in parking lots so that people don’t get trapped by your car or have to do 9 point turns to get the hell out.
Umm, that is all right now.
On a personal note: I have been having some weird pain in my left hand (the one I right with) and because I am a hypochondriac I am now scared I have carpel tunnel. Someone call my crazy jewish nerves…