*More* Story.
"We found this on your neck," he said, handing it to me. "Say, now that you’re awake, maybe you could tell us about it." I took it from him, holding it in my hands. It was a star; looked like silver. This... used to be mine, once...
"I have no idea why I have this, or what happened before I got here. I barely know who I am. I’m sorry Atya, I don’t know any of it."
"Well, can you at least tell me about yourself? You gotta know something."
"Um... I lived in the city..."
"No offense, child, but I could have told you that."
"I’m not a child."
"Fair enough, lady, though you’re not much of one of those, either. But, you were saying?"
"I remember..." that man. He always sent us food... us? I lived with Vince and Monk. Did they work? They must’ve. The scourges, probably. How did I know them? A tear ran. I brushed it away.
"Go on."
"I lived with a couple guys who worked in the scourges."
"And?"
...And that man... I hated him. He... he... and I’m pregnant now.... I felt sick. I wasn’t going to tell Atya about him.
"There was this library. It was so beautiful... I loved being there."
"Nothing else about getting here, huh?"
"Sorry."
"Don’t force it. You’ll remember things in time, I’m sure." I nodded. "Rest here for a while. When you start feeling better, we can put you to work."
"Thanks for everything, Atya."
They fed me a very hearty, very bland soup for the next two meals. Atya’s wife was very kind, a woman named Marianne. She brought the soup, though she never stayed to talk much.
I tried standing to go find a bathroom, but I found I had to depend heavily on the walls for balance. Morning came after a sickly-death sleep, and I had the soup for the third time. Atya came back around lunch time, and told me he wanted me to come with him to some kind of community council that would be in a few days. I consented.
"And do you remember anything else today?" Those men I live with... there’s something there... how do I know them? I’m forgetting something important, I know I am. I sighed.
"Nope. Sorry."
"It’ll come with time. Have you been able to stand?"
"Um, against the walls I have."
"Well, that’s something. That’ll come with time too."
Finally, they graduated me to better meals. I was walking, almost without the walls for help. I was digesting bread and meat no less. Another night and day. I felt so useless, being nothing but a lump, albeit an occasionally mobile lump, with no idea what led to where I am. Again Atya asked what I could remember. Nothing more. He smiled kindly, and I got the feeling it wasn’t easy for them either. I could understand that, but farmers like these were the ones that raised the food. They helped feed all the people in the cities, right? I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have all the food you wanted.
"Get some rest. It’ll do you good."
A bright white room. Restraints. Lab-coats all around. Can’t see; so many lights... there’s something on my face - a mask. Are they gassing me? O Jennings, O Jennings...
A voice. What did he say? One of them has a needle... what are they doing to me? What the scourge is going on!? It went in... O Jennings, it burns.
A gloved hand on my face...
"Who are you?"
What?
"Who are you?" he asked again.
I flew awake, shot upright. A dark room now... Atya’s place. I clutched at my chest, heartbeat out of control. I was sweating and far beyond nauseous. What the scourge was that about? I couldn’t calm myself. I couldn’t keep down the possibility that that dream happened to me. But it doesn’t even seem familiar. It was too much like something from nowhere, or a nightmare from a horror story, maybe.
Now what was I just thinking about? I’m awake, middle of the night... I woke up excited about something just now... the white room! How could it be slipping so quickly? I looked around... the mat. I traced the words "white room" into the mat with my fingernail, making the letters broad and deep. I said the words out loud several times... it seemed to be easier to remember now.
I lay back into my bed again, pushing the covers off a bit. I lay thinking about the dream for what must have been almost an hour, and eventually drifted back into sleep.
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