Sweetie's off
She's gone to Florida for a three-week training session. Last time she did this it wasn't a good thing, and Mom had to come over and kick me into shape after the first week. Mom is now in Ohio with my brother, his wife and their kids, so that's not an option.
I was okay for the first day, but now the reality's had time to set in. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to sit and home, watch videos and mope.
The fleas have inexplicably gotten a lot worse, and I'm getting tired of picking them off me every few minutes or seconds. I put down the anti-flea stuff we got, but the fleas seem to be largely ignoring it. I don't know if I'm applying enough of the stuff. The label claims it's made of orthoboric acid, whatever that is. I suppose I'll have to look it up and find out (not particularly helpful). The places with vinyl flooring is easy to dust with this stuff, and are mainly flea-free, but places I tend to stay in for long periods have carpeting. It's bad enough I don't even want to touch the floor now.
I should really be in town by now. It doesn't seem to take much to get me to cry now. I feel awful, and the feeling just doesn't want to stop for more than a few minutes. I'm trying to involve myself in things, writing, getting rid of the fleas, organizing. I'm afraid to make value judgments about anything.
I'm not suicidal, which I suppose is a good thing. No doubt if I didn't have the Strattera I might be, but I don't really have coping skills for this. I've never been good on my own. I tend to get weird, needy, emotionally oversensitive, if I don't have physical contact every day. Men give me some comfort, women the most. I just want to curl up with someone for about half an hour until I feel better, and then I'm good for a couple of days.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to infest my friends houses with fleas, but I don't have the energy to deal with this by myself and I'm depressed as hell.
I was okay for the first day, but now the reality's had time to set in. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to sit and home, watch videos and mope.
The fleas have inexplicably gotten a lot worse, and I'm getting tired of picking them off me every few minutes or seconds. I put down the anti-flea stuff we got, but the fleas seem to be largely ignoring it. I don't know if I'm applying enough of the stuff. The label claims it's made of orthoboric acid, whatever that is. I suppose I'll have to look it up and find out (not particularly helpful). The places with vinyl flooring is easy to dust with this stuff, and are mainly flea-free, but places I tend to stay in for long periods have carpeting. It's bad enough I don't even want to touch the floor now.
I should really be in town by now. It doesn't seem to take much to get me to cry now. I feel awful, and the feeling just doesn't want to stop for more than a few minutes. I'm trying to involve myself in things, writing, getting rid of the fleas, organizing. I'm afraid to make value judgments about anything.
I'm not suicidal, which I suppose is a good thing. No doubt if I didn't have the Strattera I might be, but I don't really have coping skills for this. I've never been good on my own. I tend to get weird, needy, emotionally oversensitive, if I don't have physical contact every day. Men give me some comfort, women the most. I just want to curl up with someone for about half an hour until I feel better, and then I'm good for a couple of days.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to infest my friends houses with fleas, but I don't have the energy to deal with this by myself and I'm depressed as hell.