(no subject)
there is no where I can express this frustration but here. Again you totally have a legitimate reason to not see me tonight. I'm not sure how much of my frustration is legitimate and how much is driven by shadow. I'm attempting to stay aware though. I'm having trouble expressing my anger right now. Why am I angry? Is this anger legitimate? I can't be mad at you for what happened tonight, but I still feel....like you just keep breaking my heart every day. Maybe I'm being too sensitive. Maybe. Maybe I'm being too clingy. Maybe. I think I'm being at least mostly reasonable though. I suppose I feel like you are torturing me in a way. I have been single for a long long time and that's easier to accept than having someone but not being able to see them. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I still think you're amazing though lol. But seriously if you keep this up for much longer then I'm going to have to take care of my self, and that may mean not trying to see you anymore. but really I just have to see how it goes. I feel like you will stop this and then everything will be fine. we'll see.