(no subject)
I need to get something off my chest.
I don't want to say this to you because you might feel like I am putting pressure on you. I'm not sure if that's what I'd be doing, but to play it safe I will just write this here. I am frustrated. You are driving me crazy. Every day you say you'll hang out with me tomorrow. When tomorrow comes around and I am looking forward to seeing you, then something always seems to come up......I guess I sort of just said this to you lol, but I'll keep talking about it here...You always have legitimate reasons for not being able to hang out. Sure. But I can't help feeling like maybe you don't want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. Or maybe you're just scared. I know you are. and I desperately don't want to scare you away. but I just want to see you a lot. isn't that what being with someone means? we see each other a lot and talk to each other and feel each other? isn't that what that means? Maybe I want to move too fast. Maybe I'm a big fan of love and the hurt that will come down the road doesn't matter to me. My skin has been starving for contact for years, except for that one month, and now that I have someone to touch I can't see you to touch you! That's bull shit. Maybe I want to move too fast for you. Maybe I can take this opportunity to practice patience. But when will we get to that place in our relationship where I want us to be already?...
I am not any of this. I am witnessing all of it. I am witnessing frustration.
I don't want to say this to you because you might feel like I am putting pressure on you. I'm not sure if that's what I'd be doing, but to play it safe I will just write this here. I am frustrated. You are driving me crazy. Every day you say you'll hang out with me tomorrow. When tomorrow comes around and I am looking forward to seeing you, then something always seems to come up......I guess I sort of just said this to you lol, but I'll keep talking about it here...You always have legitimate reasons for not being able to hang out. Sure. But I can't help feeling like maybe you don't want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. Or maybe you're just scared. I know you are. and I desperately don't want to scare you away. but I just want to see you a lot. isn't that what being with someone means? we see each other a lot and talk to each other and feel each other? isn't that what that means? Maybe I want to move too fast. Maybe I'm a big fan of love and the hurt that will come down the road doesn't matter to me. My skin has been starving for contact for years, except for that one month, and now that I have someone to touch I can't see you to touch you! That's bull shit. Maybe I want to move too fast for you. Maybe I can take this opportunity to practice patience. But when will we get to that place in our relationship where I want us to be already?...
I am not any of this. I am witnessing all of it. I am witnessing frustration.