Independence

[wndrwmn57]

Is my independant lifestyle really worth it? This is something I've been contemplating lately. That, along with whether I'm really as content as I tell everyone I am. I don't get to spend holidays with my family, my boyfriend lives 14 hours away, I'm away from the vast majority of my friends, I don't sleep enough, I'm working more than I probably should, I get cranky more often than I should, I don't eat right, I'm overstressed (the past 9 hours being a perfect example), and to top things off, I discover today that I'm no longer on the friends list of someone who I consider one of my best friends. It hurts more than I would like to admit that this person no longer feels I'm worthy of reading their thoughts. And while I may not deserve to know the deepest thoughts, I would still like to know what's going on in their life. For a while now I've been feeling us drifting apart, and I know that's partially (if not completely) my fault. However, when I make the offer to go out and do something, I feel like I'm running into a brick wall. I miss our old friendship, and while I know things can never go completely back to the way they were, I would still like to know that I'm not the only one missing the friendship. I just don't know how to approach the problem. I guess I just don't know how to fight for a friendship because I've only really ever had to do it once before.

I'm beginning to think independence isn't worth it. I want to go home.