Say Goodbye (Songfic)
Title - Say Goodbye
Author - Rycolfan
Rating - G
Pairing - ? I haven't mentioned any names so I'll let you make your own mind up!
Summary - A songfic based on the song "Say Goodbye" by Katharine Mcphee
Disclaimer - I own nothing but the story!
Feedback - is always adored!
Okay, I'm still posting the next chapter of WFI today but I was listening to this song yesterday and this kind of wrote itself! It's not a summer song so it doesn't come under the song fic challenge but I thought I'd post it anyway! Let me know what you think (if at all possible, have the song playing as you read this so you get the full emotions!) :o) x
If I seem distant
Baby I am
Words are like scissors in your hands
And there’s no script to follow
So I just close my eyes
That way it won’t hurt so much
When we say goodbye
I knew. If I was honest with myself, I'd known for years. There wasn't a sudden moment of realization, like a lightning bolt, no, nothing that dramatic. That might have been easier to deal with, the blunt force of it all in one go instead of the slow-acting poison it actually was; a gradual awakening to the knowledge that there are some things you can't change, no matter how hard you fight or how many bitter tears you shed. Oh, it was never spoken of openly, the proverbial elephant in the room, but I knew nonetheless. It was in his eyes whenever he looked my way, a distance I couldn't decrease. It was in his smile which never quite touched his eyes except when he was in the room. It was in his kiss, once passionate and now only a lifeless shell of its former glory.
Did you ever love me?
Does it even matter?
Did you even notice the whole world shatter?
I couldn't tell you exactly when I started to pull away; it was a slow process. I was still the dutiful wife and mother to his tender husband and father; we laughed and joked around as we had always done, the perfect couple who were admired by so many. But it felt wrong, like a musical symphony played out of tune. It was a charade, a mask I put on so often that it was sometimes difficult to find the real me.
I feel just like an actress
Up on the stage
I can’t believe
What I’m hearing myself say
And the porch light is my spotlight
So I play along with this life
That way it won’t hurt so much
When we say goodbye
I knew it was killing him too, to be trapped in this sort of torturous half-life, unwilling to hurt anyone. But I was hurt. Every time his name was mentioned it felt like a new knife wound had been inflicted to my soul. I had to retreat into myself to protect my battered and bruised heart, knowing that one day everything we'd built together would come crashing down around us and I'd lose him.
My heart feels like a circus
It’s to much to take in
It’s hard to lose love
But you were my best friend
So I walk this high wire
Alone….tonight
That way it won’t hurt so much
When we say goodbye.
Let's face it; he was never mine to keep.