Have A Little Faith In Me
Chapter 17: Initiative
Lewis heard the kitchen door click shut as Drew left. The Volkswagen’s engine revved -not ten feet away on the other side of his bedroom wall - and Lewis listened as it slowly faded into the distance. He sighed.
“Y’know…Kate wanted you to come, too…”
He harrumphed and looked around for the TV remote - which was on the side table, out of reach.
Screw it. I’m not getting up.
He stared at the ceiling and in incredibly short order, his inner voice was picking at him.
You’re staring at the ceiling again, you know…You were feeling so good before - Didn’t you decide to quit hiding on the couch?...and weren’t you staring at something better than the TV this afternoon?...something much better?
Shut up. She ran away.
She didn’t run away when you first asked her to join you…She didn’t run away when you were ALMOST telling her how you feel about her…She only ran away after Drew and Mimi came in.
So what made her run off?
Remember who here used to be married to whom? Maybe she was worried what Drew would think.
Oh, yeah. Crap. What DOES Drew think?
Dude, he was pushing to get you to go and talk to her. I think he’s okay with it.
“Kate wanted you to come.”
“If you think she wouldn’t love you because you can’t walk, you're wrong.”
“There’s worse things than someone saying no.”
The last straw was a memory of the look on Kate’s face while he was speaking Esperanto. Oh, God, she was beautiful…and he did promise to tell her eventually…
The same fire - or whatever it was - that had gotten him out of the house earlier hit him again and Lewis pushed himself up, suddenly very determined, and with the theme from Rocky pounding in his head, dragged himself into his chair.
Twenty minutes later - after rifling his closet for something decent to wear - he was out of his sweats (for the first time in what seemed like forever) and dressed in a clean pair of jeans, a dark green polo shirt and new pair of sneakers, taking care to get everything as straight as possible. Hmm…Not so easy to tuck in the shirt anymore… He combed his hair and took the trouble to dig up some cologne, pulled on his gloves and tossed his keys, phone and wallet in his backpack.
Eight blocks…Two miles…That’s not so far…is it?
I’m coming, Kate…
* * * * *
Drew pulled the Bug into the parking lot of The Warsaw and got out, slump-shouldered and shaking his head.
Man, he thought, This whole thing is stupid! I don’t care what Eugene said - If Lewis isn’t gonna tell her, then I will, dammit!
The stocky man marched into the bar, fully ready to confront Kate. As soon as he came through the door, he spotted her - at the usual table, surrounded by Oswald, Jay and Eugene - and bawling her eyes out on Oswald’s shoulder.
“I can’t believe I did that!” She cried. “He must think I…I don’t even wanna know what he must think!”
“Shhh…Come on, Katey-bear…” Oswald patted her on the back as Eugene and Jay hovered around looking concerned that she was so upset. “This is Lewis we’re talking about. He’s known you his whole life and he’s not going to think anything bad. I promise.”
“Anyway, I’m sure they’ll be here in a few minutes…” Jay threw in.
“There, there, Kate.” Eugene cooed, patting her hand, knowingly. “This has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?”
“Mmm-Hmm.” She nodded and snuffled, running a sleeve across her nose.
Thoroughly confused, Drew threw down his jacket. “Would somebody please tell me what the sam hell is going on here?!”
Four surprised faces whipped around to look at him, yet none of the guys wanted to be the one to spill the beans. Kate took one look at him, burst into tears again, and buried her face in her hands.
Eugene finally gave Drew a look and smiled faintly. “Kate just came out of the closet.”
“What?”
“MM NN LVV MF WOOIS!”
“Kate’s in love with Lewis.” Oswald translated.
“I heard her the first time, Oswald!”
Eugene grinned and gave an obvious ‘this is where you give your approval’ look.
“Oh…Um…” Drew stuttered, almost not picking up on his cue. “That’s great!”
* * * * *
Three blocks down. Five to go.
His face the picture of determination, but less than halfway there, Lewis’ shoulders were already burning and a little sore spot was building on the heel of his right hand as he pushed his chair toward The Warsaw. No matter that it wasn’t so warm now that the sun had gone down, the humidity had him sweating like mad while bumping over weeds, gravel, potholes and sidewalk cracks.
I really…don’t …remember this…being…an uphill…trip!
* * * * *
Kate lifted her tear-streaked face. “What?”
Drew looked at her. Yes, it was true that he still loved her…but he wanted her to be happy. He wanted Lewis to be happy, and dammit, if they could be happy together then…
“Yeah…” He sat down next to her and smiled - for real - and took her hand. “Listen, Kate, I know I’ve been jealous…and…kind of a jerk, but if you love him, you should tell him. And it’s okay with me.”
“Really?” she squeaked in an almost-whimper, and he couldn’t help but smile some more.
“Yeah. And you know what? I think he might feel the same way.”
To his surprise, she squawked and started blubbering into her hands again. Drew looked around, confused.
“What am I missing here?”
Jay sat back and swirled his beer around. “When you and Mimi came in today, she got up and ran off because she was afraid of what you’d say.”
“…and she thinks she might have scared him off.” Oswald finished.
Drew looked around guiltily and bit his lip.
“She didn’t, did she?”
“Um…”
“Well?” Jay raised an eyebrow. “What did he say after she left?”
“Um…”
* * * * *
The WHEELS on the bus go ROUND and round…
ONE…two three…ONE…two three.
Urgh.
Five and a half…almost six…two more blocks to go…
There were no curb-cuts at this one, but Lewis easily popped a wheelie and bounced down off the sidewalk. On the other side of the street, he rocked back, lifting the front wheels to hop the curb, but on the upward push, felt the blister under his glove pop, sending a stinging jolt all the way to his shoulder.
Ow!…Damn!…
* * * * *
“Well…he, uh…”
“Dre-eww! What did he say?!” Kate was looking at him pleadingly. The big man sighed and hung his head, unable to come up with a passable fib.
“He…he said he wasn’t going to let you waste the rest of your life taking care of him.”
Four voices in unison screamed “WHAT?!”
“You’ve GOTTA be kidding me?!”
“He said that?”
“Oh, PLEASE tell me you didn’t say something stupid!”
“NO, I didn’t say anything stupid!” Drew spread his hands in defense. “I told him he was wrong and that he should come tonight, but he said he didn’t feel like it!”
“So he’s just sitting at home right now?!”
* * * * *
Right now, Lewis was really wishing he had a band-aid. Salt from his sweat was getting rubbed into that open blister with every push, making for some slow and painful going, but he kept on, even as an unnoticed trickle of blood began to come through the seams of his glove. He was too busy trying to come up with something to say once he reached the tavern.
Kate…what I said was--…er… Hi, Kate…will you have dinner with me?…no, no...Kate…I’ve had a crush on you since…Jeez, what am I, in high school?…
Finally, within sight of the bar, the sidewalk took a slight decline and he was able to coast. It felt good to go fast. The welcome breeze dried some of the sweat from his hair as he rolled into the parking lot and around back to where the loading ramp was. Giving a couple of final shoves up the ramp and into the orange cast of the floodlights, Lewis finally caught a glimpse of the reddish streaks on his fingers and the sheen of the black glove indicating just how much blood it’s padding had absorbed.
Ooo. No wonder that hurt. I really do need a band-aid.
* * * * *
“Probably!” Drew shrugged. “But what was I supposed to do? I can’t MAKE him come! He’s a grown man, for God’s sake!”
“Drew’s right” Eugene agreed. “Lewis just needs time to come to terms with this himself. When he’s ready, he’ll make a move.”
“He MADE a move, Eugene…and I had to go and screw it up.” Drew folded his arms and grumped.
“No, I screwed it up by running away!” Kate whimpered, wiping at her eyes.
Jay put down his beer glass. “Look, why don’t we just go and get him?”
“We went over this - we can’t just go and get him!”
“Why are we fighting about this?”
“Because he’s been taking root on Drew’s couch for two weeks! It’s up to us to get him to - ”
“We can’t “get him to” do anything he’s not ready for!”
“Guys, guys…” Drew tried to calm everyone, as voices were starting to rise and Kate looked like she was going to start crying again. “What would Lewis say if he saw us arguing like this?”
Oswald leaned over and squinted toward the bar.
“Why don’t you ask him yourself? He’s over there.”