(no subject)
Without trying to sound too depressed, I really want this year to be over with. Instead of New Year's resolutions, I bring you "Things I'll be doing this time next year":
David will be home
I will have been graduated for a year
I will hopefully have a better job (ps, I got a 50 cent raise, which is very exciting)
David will be home for almost 2 months
I will be looking into grad school
life will be a little more settled, not so suspended-in-the-air
I will be able to buy a car that has:
windows that work
left blinker that works
trunk that works
parking break that works
air conditioning that works
gauges that work
tires that don't leak
speakers that don't make funny noises
armrest that works
cupholders that don't fall off
windshield with no cracks
a diploma instead of a piece of paper in my diploma-holder
a dent in my loans
money
David will be home, with 2 months left in the military
David will be home
But right now, I have none of those things. This week has been a build up of the reminder of that, something no one seems to understand or see. Mostly just the David part. Ashley called me today to say that her boyfriend was spending the night in Salem at his mom's house, and she was upset by it, as if that is supposed to bring us closer. This girl has a car she can drive her ass down to Salem, but, alas, she has a fear of driving on the freeway. Along with she doesn't drive at night, or as far as my house to get me so we can hang out, or anywhere else for that matter. She drives herself to work sometimes, but her mom drives her to school. She's 23, and the only thing keeping her from seeing her boyfriend tonight is a freeway. I have no sympathy. She always surprises me by what she says. I told her she shold call our friends Jeff and Jana and hang out with them, but she said she hates being alone with them, because all they do is bicker or make out. I have no sympathy for that either. Sometimes I hate myself for being so bitter about such a petty thing, after all, the good things in my life outweigh the bad things. But today I let myself revel in my bad mood, and I'm quite enjoying it. So let me be with my unhappy self for one night, without having to explain myself to anyone. Just give me that much, and I'll let this year pass into another one in hopes that this time next year I will be in a better mood.
And Willow, I'm with you on the most annoying question "when is he going to propose to you??" usually followed by "you deserve better than that". Better than what, people? Better than someone who loves me, supports me, believes in me, makes me laugh, and sends me a stupid american flag in the mail because he was looking for something so random that would make me shake my head at him and laugh, the exact response he knew would happen and wanted? He knows me that well. I don't want anything better than that, goddammit.
David will be home
I will have been graduated for a year
I will hopefully have a better job (ps, I got a 50 cent raise, which is very exciting)
David will be home for almost 2 months
I will be looking into grad school
life will be a little more settled, not so suspended-in-the-air
I will be able to buy a car that has:
windows that work
left blinker that works
trunk that works
parking break that works
air conditioning that works
gauges that work
tires that don't leak
speakers that don't make funny noises
armrest that works
cupholders that don't fall off
windshield with no cracks
a diploma instead of a piece of paper in my diploma-holder
a dent in my loans
money
David will be home, with 2 months left in the military
David will be home
But right now, I have none of those things. This week has been a build up of the reminder of that, something no one seems to understand or see. Mostly just the David part. Ashley called me today to say that her boyfriend was spending the night in Salem at his mom's house, and she was upset by it, as if that is supposed to bring us closer. This girl has a car she can drive her ass down to Salem, but, alas, she has a fear of driving on the freeway. Along with she doesn't drive at night, or as far as my house to get me so we can hang out, or anywhere else for that matter. She drives herself to work sometimes, but her mom drives her to school. She's 23, and the only thing keeping her from seeing her boyfriend tonight is a freeway. I have no sympathy. She always surprises me by what she says. I told her she shold call our friends Jeff and Jana and hang out with them, but she said she hates being alone with them, because all they do is bicker or make out. I have no sympathy for that either. Sometimes I hate myself for being so bitter about such a petty thing, after all, the good things in my life outweigh the bad things. But today I let myself revel in my bad mood, and I'm quite enjoying it. So let me be with my unhappy self for one night, without having to explain myself to anyone. Just give me that much, and I'll let this year pass into another one in hopes that this time next year I will be in a better mood.
And Willow, I'm with you on the most annoying question "when is he going to propose to you??" usually followed by "you deserve better than that". Better than what, people? Better than someone who loves me, supports me, believes in me, makes me laugh, and sends me a stupid american flag in the mail because he was looking for something so random that would make me shake my head at him and laugh, the exact response he knew would happen and wanted? He knows me that well. I don't want anything better than that, goddammit.