(no subject)
I'm completely out of touch. With "cool" with youth with friends with myself with what "myself" is. I have no control through the excess of it. I feel like I really don't even know myself anymore. I haven't updated this in 47 weeks, so livejournal tells me, and even though I've tried keeping my own journal, I know I'm too lazy to keep it up (20 or so weeks for that one).Can't get a grip. Motivation is so transient for me, I have no willpower and no intentions to get my head wrapped around it. Drugs certainly aren't an answer (i tell myself but don't really know). I think a lot about how exciting I used to find life to be and how i have let it slip away so within reach and yet out of grasp. I find myself envious of so much that is so little, but all added together it's a bottled up argument waiting for its time to spin out another complex. When does angst stop being teenage and start being a problem? Gosh I feel weird and can't stop thinking about it.