Say it Again
Title: Say it Again
Rating: PG
Length: ~1900
Spoilers: None
Summary: Rachel couldn't believe her eyes. It didn't make sense. They were solid. She knew it.
Notes: I started this shortly after Journey, but it has taken until now to finish it. Apparently, I'm a slacker. It really doesn't have any spoilers, though, because while it was inspired by a line in Journey, it's taken entirely out of context and in no way relates to the episode, or any other actual events. Feedback is appreciated. Mistakes are mine, Glee is not.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rachel tightened her arms, kissed smooth skin, and buried her face against a warm shoulder. "Say it again."
~~Earlier~~
Rachel rushed out of the auditorium. She was blind, couldn't think, couldn't process what she'd seen. It had to be wrong. It couldn't be what it had looked like. There had to be an explanation.
What was she doing there with him? It didn't make any sense. They'd been together for six months. They were solid. She knew it. She thought she did, anyway.
Putting her hands to her head, Rachel turned in a circle, not really seeing anything, before she slumped against the wall and slid to the ground. The scene kept replaying in her head.
Quinn with Finn, standing on the stage in the auditorium, arms locked tight around one another, her head tucked against his chest, just standing there together. Then they'd moved. Quinn had smiled up him, and Finn had smiled back and leaned down to press a kiss against her forehead. Quinn had said something that Rachel couldn't hear, then she'd stood on her toes to press a kiss against the corner of Finn's mouth.
What was that about? It still didn't make the slightest bit of sense to Rachel.
Rachel sat until her vision cleared and her heart rate and breathing steadied. She needed to leave. She needed to be home right now. She wouldn't cry until she made it to her bedroom. Once she got there, she was going to cry and then she was going to figure this out. She took a deep breath then stood. Mechanically, she stopped at her locker and then went to her car. She was hyper-focused as she drove home - anything to occupy her mind until she was safely in the privacy of her bed.
~~~~~
After talking with Finn, Quinn quickly left the auditorium. That had gone amazingly well, but now she was supposed to meet Rachel so that she could drive them to her house. Quinn was staying the night. Quinn couldn't wait to get there; she couldn't wait to see Rachel. Tonight was going to be awesome, and she couldn't wait to talk to Rachel.
When Quinn got to Rachel's locker, she was nowhere in sight. It was weird because they always met here when they had plans after school. Quinn looked around, then checked her watch. Maybe she'd spent longer than she thought talking to Finn and Rachel had decided to wait at her car. Quinn quickly went to her own locker and hurried outside to find Rachel in the parking lot.
It was a Friday, and the lot was mostly empty already, so it didn't take long for Quinn to realize that Rachel's car, and obviously Rachel, was already gone.
Maybe Rach forgot? Except, that didn't make sense. Rachel didn't forget anything, especially not plans with her girlfriend, and she'd never ditched her before.
Quinn dropped her bag next to a bench and sat down as she pulled out her cell phone to send Rachel a text. Baby, did you forget that I was riding home with you?
She was still sitting on the bench waiting for a reply when Finn walked out ten minutes later. "Hey, Quinn. I thought you said you were meeting Rachel."
"Yeah, I was, except she already left. Now she hasn't answered my text. It's been ten minutes. It's not like her. You don't think something happened, do you?" Quinn looked up at him. She was starting to get really worried.
"Nah, of course not. I'm sure everything's fine. She probably just forgot that she was supposed to wait for you. I do that, like, all the time." Quinn didn't bother to point out the flaw in his logic. "Do you want me to, like, drive you to her house?"
"Yeah, sure. Thanks, Finn." She tucked her phone into her pocket and followed him to his truck, carefully shifting the various takeout cups and empty bags so that she could sit. It smelled a little like stale French fries.
Finn turned on the radio as they pulled out of the parking lot. Quinn was used to listening to Rachel's iPod in the car, but she didn't say anything when the classic rock station came on. She smiled a little as she was reminded of listening to the same thing when she and Finn had dated.
The drive to Rachel's was quick, and Quinn was glad. She was excited to get back to her plans for the evening. Saying another quick thanks to Finn, she barely managed to not run up the walk to the door. She didn't want to look like she was running away from Finn or unappreciative, she was just eager to see Rachel.
She entered the house and quickly removed her shoes. "Baby? Rach, where are you?" she called out to the apparently empty house. Rachel's car had been in the driveway, so she knew she was here somewhere. Quinn frowned at the lack of response. Hanging her jacket on the post at the bottom of the stairs, she shouldered her bag and made her way up to Rachel's room.
She knocked gently then pushed the door open. "Hey baby--" she stopped short. She had not expected to see Rachel curled into a ball on her bed, facing the wall, and shaking slightly with quiet tears. She dropped her bag by the desk and made her way to sit on the edge of the bed. "Baby, what is it? What's wrong?" She reached her hand out the rub Rachel's back.
"Don't touch me!" Rachel seemed to shrink away from her touch. Pushing down the hurt and tears, Quinn took a deep breath.
"What happened, Rachel? Who hurt you?" Quinn tried once again to touch Rachel, to get her to roll over and talk to her.
"Go away, Quinn! I don't want to talk to you!" Quinn jerked her hand back as if she'd been burned. She couldn't stop the tears anymore.
"No, Rachel, I'm not leaving. Please, baby, talk to me." Quinn flinched slightly as Rachel released a sob at the term of endearment. She swiped ineffectively at the tears on her face. "Rachel, please…"
"NO!" Rachel jumped up at hearing the tears in Quinn's voice. "You don't get to cry. You don't get to be upset. I saw you! I saw you and you don't get to be… you don't get…" Rachel couldn't continue as she choked on her tears. She backed up against the wall and sank down it. She pulled her knees to her chest and hid her face in her arms. "Why?" she asked quietly. "Why, Quinn?"
"Rachel, I- I don't know what you're talking about. Saw me what?" Quinn took a step toward Rachel, but stopped when she jerked her head up with an angry glint in her eye.
"Don't be stupid, Quinn. We both know you're not. I saw you with Finn after school, in the auditorium. I saw you with him, so I get to be hurt, not you." Quinn shut her eyes as she realized what Rachel thought she had seen.
Nodding as understanding passed over Quinn's face, Rachel wiped her eyes and stood up. Walking to her door, she opened it and stood by "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like you to leave."
That caused Quinn's eyes to snap open. "No Rachel." She walked over to the door and shut it. There was a brief struggle as Rachel tried to open it again, but Quinn won as she took Rachel's wrists in her hands. "No."
Rachel twisted her arms and pulled, but Quinn wouldn't let go. She wasn't holding tightly, it didn't hurt, but her grip was firm enough that Rachel couldn't get free. "Please, Quinn," she whined, "please, just go." She could feel the tears building back up and streaking down her face once more. "I get it, really I do. Just leave, and you can be happy with Finn. It's fine."
"No, Rachel, you don't get it. I don't want Finn. What you think you saw, isn't what that was." She let go of Rachel's wrists when she stopped struggling and reached out to wipe her tears. "Yes, I met with him after school, but not because I want him." Rachel turned her head away from Quinn's hand, so she dropped it to her side. "Will you at least listen? Let me explain?"
Giving no response, Rachel ducked around Quinn, careful not to touch her, and sat on her bed. She refused to look at Quinn, but she didn't ask her to leave again either.
Quinn took a deep breath and turned around to face Rachel. "Thank you." She took a step forward carefully, and receiving no response, positive or negative, Quinn took another and another until she was standing directly in front of Rachel. She knelt down and tried to meet Rachel's eyes. "Look at me? Please?"
Hesitantly, Rachel lifted her face just enough to meet Quinn's eyes briefly, then turned and focused her gaze just over Quinn's shoulder. Deciding it was the best she was going to get, Quinn pressed on.
"I asked Finn to meet me after school, so that we could talk." She paused and took a deep breath. This wasn't how she had planed this afternoon to go at all. "I had to talk to him, to explain. It wouldn't be fair otherwise, and it would just hurt him again. I loved him once." At this, Rachel's eyes flicked to hers once more, and Quinn could see the tears welling again. She continued, "You loved him once." She slowly reached out to gently touch, to take Rachel's hand. "He has loved both of us, and as happy as he is for us, he still loves us a little bit. So, Rachel, I had to tell him-"
Rachel interrupted quietly, "Tell him what, Quinn?" She looked away as she waited. She was still waiting for Quinn to tell her that they were done, that Finn was better for her image, and that they had agreed to get back together. She wasn't at all expecting the quiet words that came next.
"I love you." That was absolutely not how I planned this.
Rachel's eyes snapped back to Quinn's face which was turned down slightly. "What?"
Quinn's face slowly rose back up so that she could finally meet and hold Rachel's gaze. "I love you Rachel Berry. I had to talk to Finn about it before I could tell you. He deserved to hear it from me, from us, but I love you. So much. We shouldn't make sense, Rach. Loving you shouldn't make the least bit of sense. I never thought I would be here in front of you saying this. We shouldn't make sense at all, but please believe me when I tell you that nothing has ever felt more right. Somehow, we have ended up here, and there is honestly nowhere else I would rather be than with you. I love you, and like it or not, you're stuck with me. So, no, I'm not leaving. I won't go away. Not until you believe me." Quinn took a deep breath and held it as her eyes darted back and forth between Rachel's deep brown ones.
Rachel searched Quinn's eyes as well, until, with a soft smile, she lifted a hand to her lover's face and gently guided her into a kiss.
~~Now~~
Quinn smiled and stroked a hand down Rachel's smooth back. She pressed her lips to dark hair, and whispered. "I love you."
Rating: PG
Length: ~1900
Spoilers: None
Summary: Rachel couldn't believe her eyes. It didn't make sense. They were solid. She knew it.
Notes: I started this shortly after Journey, but it has taken until now to finish it. Apparently, I'm a slacker. It really doesn't have any spoilers, though, because while it was inspired by a line in Journey, it's taken entirely out of context and in no way relates to the episode, or any other actual events. Feedback is appreciated. Mistakes are mine, Glee is not.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rachel tightened her arms, kissed smooth skin, and buried her face against a warm shoulder. "Say it again."
~~Earlier~~
Rachel rushed out of the auditorium. She was blind, couldn't think, couldn't process what she'd seen. It had to be wrong. It couldn't be what it had looked like. There had to be an explanation.
What was she doing there with him? It didn't make any sense. They'd been together for six months. They were solid. She knew it. She thought she did, anyway.
Putting her hands to her head, Rachel turned in a circle, not really seeing anything, before she slumped against the wall and slid to the ground. The scene kept replaying in her head.
Quinn with Finn, standing on the stage in the auditorium, arms locked tight around one another, her head tucked against his chest, just standing there together. Then they'd moved. Quinn had smiled up him, and Finn had smiled back and leaned down to press a kiss against her forehead. Quinn had said something that Rachel couldn't hear, then she'd stood on her toes to press a kiss against the corner of Finn's mouth.
What was that about? It still didn't make the slightest bit of sense to Rachel.
Rachel sat until her vision cleared and her heart rate and breathing steadied. She needed to leave. She needed to be home right now. She wouldn't cry until she made it to her bedroom. Once she got there, she was going to cry and then she was going to figure this out. She took a deep breath then stood. Mechanically, she stopped at her locker and then went to her car. She was hyper-focused as she drove home - anything to occupy her mind until she was safely in the privacy of her bed.
~~~~~
After talking with Finn, Quinn quickly left the auditorium. That had gone amazingly well, but now she was supposed to meet Rachel so that she could drive them to her house. Quinn was staying the night. Quinn couldn't wait to get there; she couldn't wait to see Rachel. Tonight was going to be awesome, and she couldn't wait to talk to Rachel.
When Quinn got to Rachel's locker, she was nowhere in sight. It was weird because they always met here when they had plans after school. Quinn looked around, then checked her watch. Maybe she'd spent longer than she thought talking to Finn and Rachel had decided to wait at her car. Quinn quickly went to her own locker and hurried outside to find Rachel in the parking lot.
It was a Friday, and the lot was mostly empty already, so it didn't take long for Quinn to realize that Rachel's car, and obviously Rachel, was already gone.
Maybe Rach forgot? Except, that didn't make sense. Rachel didn't forget anything, especially not plans with her girlfriend, and she'd never ditched her before.
Quinn dropped her bag next to a bench and sat down as she pulled out her cell phone to send Rachel a text. Baby, did you forget that I was riding home with you?
She was still sitting on the bench waiting for a reply when Finn walked out ten minutes later. "Hey, Quinn. I thought you said you were meeting Rachel."
"Yeah, I was, except she already left. Now she hasn't answered my text. It's been ten minutes. It's not like her. You don't think something happened, do you?" Quinn looked up at him. She was starting to get really worried.
"Nah, of course not. I'm sure everything's fine. She probably just forgot that she was supposed to wait for you. I do that, like, all the time." Quinn didn't bother to point out the flaw in his logic. "Do you want me to, like, drive you to her house?"
"Yeah, sure. Thanks, Finn." She tucked her phone into her pocket and followed him to his truck, carefully shifting the various takeout cups and empty bags so that she could sit. It smelled a little like stale French fries.
Finn turned on the radio as they pulled out of the parking lot. Quinn was used to listening to Rachel's iPod in the car, but she didn't say anything when the classic rock station came on. She smiled a little as she was reminded of listening to the same thing when she and Finn had dated.
The drive to Rachel's was quick, and Quinn was glad. She was excited to get back to her plans for the evening. Saying another quick thanks to Finn, she barely managed to not run up the walk to the door. She didn't want to look like she was running away from Finn or unappreciative, she was just eager to see Rachel.
She entered the house and quickly removed her shoes. "Baby? Rach, where are you?" she called out to the apparently empty house. Rachel's car had been in the driveway, so she knew she was here somewhere. Quinn frowned at the lack of response. Hanging her jacket on the post at the bottom of the stairs, she shouldered her bag and made her way up to Rachel's room.
She knocked gently then pushed the door open. "Hey baby--" she stopped short. She had not expected to see Rachel curled into a ball on her bed, facing the wall, and shaking slightly with quiet tears. She dropped her bag by the desk and made her way to sit on the edge of the bed. "Baby, what is it? What's wrong?" She reached her hand out the rub Rachel's back.
"Don't touch me!" Rachel seemed to shrink away from her touch. Pushing down the hurt and tears, Quinn took a deep breath.
"What happened, Rachel? Who hurt you?" Quinn tried once again to touch Rachel, to get her to roll over and talk to her.
"Go away, Quinn! I don't want to talk to you!" Quinn jerked her hand back as if she'd been burned. She couldn't stop the tears anymore.
"No, Rachel, I'm not leaving. Please, baby, talk to me." Quinn flinched slightly as Rachel released a sob at the term of endearment. She swiped ineffectively at the tears on her face. "Rachel, please…"
"NO!" Rachel jumped up at hearing the tears in Quinn's voice. "You don't get to cry. You don't get to be upset. I saw you! I saw you and you don't get to be… you don't get…" Rachel couldn't continue as she choked on her tears. She backed up against the wall and sank down it. She pulled her knees to her chest and hid her face in her arms. "Why?" she asked quietly. "Why, Quinn?"
"Rachel, I- I don't know what you're talking about. Saw me what?" Quinn took a step toward Rachel, but stopped when she jerked her head up with an angry glint in her eye.
"Don't be stupid, Quinn. We both know you're not. I saw you with Finn after school, in the auditorium. I saw you with him, so I get to be hurt, not you." Quinn shut her eyes as she realized what Rachel thought she had seen.
Nodding as understanding passed over Quinn's face, Rachel wiped her eyes and stood up. Walking to her door, she opened it and stood by "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like you to leave."
That caused Quinn's eyes to snap open. "No Rachel." She walked over to the door and shut it. There was a brief struggle as Rachel tried to open it again, but Quinn won as she took Rachel's wrists in her hands. "No."
Rachel twisted her arms and pulled, but Quinn wouldn't let go. She wasn't holding tightly, it didn't hurt, but her grip was firm enough that Rachel couldn't get free. "Please, Quinn," she whined, "please, just go." She could feel the tears building back up and streaking down her face once more. "I get it, really I do. Just leave, and you can be happy with Finn. It's fine."
"No, Rachel, you don't get it. I don't want Finn. What you think you saw, isn't what that was." She let go of Rachel's wrists when she stopped struggling and reached out to wipe her tears. "Yes, I met with him after school, but not because I want him." Rachel turned her head away from Quinn's hand, so she dropped it to her side. "Will you at least listen? Let me explain?"
Giving no response, Rachel ducked around Quinn, careful not to touch her, and sat on her bed. She refused to look at Quinn, but she didn't ask her to leave again either.
Quinn took a deep breath and turned around to face Rachel. "Thank you." She took a step forward carefully, and receiving no response, positive or negative, Quinn took another and another until she was standing directly in front of Rachel. She knelt down and tried to meet Rachel's eyes. "Look at me? Please?"
Hesitantly, Rachel lifted her face just enough to meet Quinn's eyes briefly, then turned and focused her gaze just over Quinn's shoulder. Deciding it was the best she was going to get, Quinn pressed on.
"I asked Finn to meet me after school, so that we could talk." She paused and took a deep breath. This wasn't how she had planed this afternoon to go at all. "I had to talk to him, to explain. It wouldn't be fair otherwise, and it would just hurt him again. I loved him once." At this, Rachel's eyes flicked to hers once more, and Quinn could see the tears welling again. She continued, "You loved him once." She slowly reached out to gently touch, to take Rachel's hand. "He has loved both of us, and as happy as he is for us, he still loves us a little bit. So, Rachel, I had to tell him-"
Rachel interrupted quietly, "Tell him what, Quinn?" She looked away as she waited. She was still waiting for Quinn to tell her that they were done, that Finn was better for her image, and that they had agreed to get back together. She wasn't at all expecting the quiet words that came next.
"I love you." That was absolutely not how I planned this.
Rachel's eyes snapped back to Quinn's face which was turned down slightly. "What?"
Quinn's face slowly rose back up so that she could finally meet and hold Rachel's gaze. "I love you Rachel Berry. I had to talk to Finn about it before I could tell you. He deserved to hear it from me, from us, but I love you. So much. We shouldn't make sense, Rach. Loving you shouldn't make the least bit of sense. I never thought I would be here in front of you saying this. We shouldn't make sense at all, but please believe me when I tell you that nothing has ever felt more right. Somehow, we have ended up here, and there is honestly nowhere else I would rather be than with you. I love you, and like it or not, you're stuck with me. So, no, I'm not leaving. I won't go away. Not until you believe me." Quinn took a deep breath and held it as her eyes darted back and forth between Rachel's deep brown ones.
Rachel searched Quinn's eyes as well, until, with a soft smile, she lifted a hand to her lover's face and gently guided her into a kiss.
~~Now~~
Quinn smiled and stroked a hand down Rachel's smooth back. She pressed her lips to dark hair, and whispered. "I love you."